Freaky Friday: Fun with Keywords

Ooh boy I have some DOOZIES for you today.

For those of you not aware, "Fun With Keywords" is when I dig around my Statcounter to find out what people are searching to find me. Most of the time, it's totally normal, like "How not to dress like a mom" or "Jae completes me" but sometimes they are WEIIIIIRD. Observe.

-"Without dress"

Wrong website, pervert.

-"Why do I look like my aunt and not my parents?"

Um...this is going to be awkward. Maybe also ask your dad why he's into sisters?

A total side note, but as a child I loved to tell my littlest brother, four years younger than me, that he was from a German family, and when he turned eight they were going to come get him and make him go to work in a work camp in Germany. When he would cry, my mom would scold me and I would say, "Mom! You have to tell him! Stop allowing him to live this lie!" And he would hide in his room for hours and I would get hours of little-brother free time. Clearly I was a fantastic sister.

-"I hate it when I wear a dress once and it's ruined."

Does anyone NOT hate that? What a weird thing to search. Like "Ohh, my dress is ruined!! I hate when that happens... I wonder if anyone can commiserate ONLINE!"

-"Lady Gaga jellyfish photos"

*crickets*


*crickets*


I hate you.

-"Pictures of how not to dress in the office."

Oh! That I can do! Try not to dress like this:

(PS is that a guy with a SWORD in the background? WTH is this world coming to, people? YOU ARE HUMANS IN 2010! Not a medieval knight, and CERTAINLY not a cat. Also, please put the girls away. Awkward women who don't know how to properly wield the cleavage make me uncomfy.

Also, something like this is absolutely inappropriate for work, in my humble opinion.

She had me on board until the fuzzy legwarmers.

-"Mom jeans and platforms"

*sobbing* WHY? WHY would you make me do this?

THERE? Are you HAPPY NOW? If you were asking if you could wear mom jeans WITH platform flip flops, the answer is absolutely not. Hows about you burn both of them. Mom jeans are pretty much against the vow that I took upon starting this blog, and platform flip flops are the worst. Like, really? You're going to strap THAT much foam on your feet? Just wear wedges and don't look like an oversized 13 year old instead. Those are not flip flops. They are flotation devices.

I hope the freaky people keep these weird searches coming, because I am LOVING IT! Although I will admit that I've searched some weird things. I have to do a lot of research with my job at Livestrong, and once I had to look up goat backpacks. I am not kidding. Backpacks... for goats.

What's the weirdest thing you've ever had to look up??

Pretty Vintage

I spent part of my birthday blissfully alone, thanks to a good friend who not only brought me a cake, but whisked away my daughter for the afternoon as well (She's a keeper!) I used the time to run into town (yes, I live in a place where I have to drive to get to civilization) and look for an anniversary present for my husband. ONce I'd gotten one, I had some time to kill so I did something that I've always wanted to do... go in a thrift store.

If you look in my side bar, you'll see links to other blogs by girls who ALL thrift shop. They find amazing little gems and I get jealous. And my friend Charity, who writes THIS gorgeous blog totally finds and fixes up amazing thrift store items. So, I've slowly been goaded into trying it out and figured it was as good a time as any.

The store I went into was TERRIFYING. Call me naive in the world of thrifting, but I didn't realize your had to do so much... well, searching. I was the only person in the store, and since I'm so non-confrontational, I decided that I would have to buy something to avoid the awkwardness if I left emptyhanded. So I scrounged up a book and a pair of shoes (that were actually pretty cute) and went to the cash register. By this time, someone else had come in and she was paying for something. I could hear the employee ring up her total and then start in about making a donation to a raffle for her sister who has cancer and the winner gets a Michael Jackson record player. I was like "Oh, here we go... she's totally going to hit me up and I don't WANT a Michael Jackson record player. I don't even want this stuff in my hands. Pleasedontaskmepleasedontaskmepleasedontaskme."

"HI!" She says.
"Hello" I say.
"Ooh, look at this book you have. Do you know how much it is?"
I point to the back of the store where the book prices are clearly marked. "Um, that sign says it's a dollar."
"Oh, I knew how much it was, I just wanted to make sure you knew you got a good deal. OH! And look at these shoes! They're just your size!"
(I should take a moment to point out that it annoys me when employees try to sell you on items you're already buying. Yeah, that's why they are on the counter. Let's move it along.)
"Also, would you like to enter this raffle? It's for my SISTER who has CANCER and she's starting RADIATION next week."
"Yeah, can I just donate money? I don't really need to enter a raffle?"
"Oh? But it's for a MICHAEL JACKSON RECORD PLAYER! It's probably worth $300. You just write your name and number on this paper and we'll enter you."
"Oh, I really don't want to enter the raffle." I survey the entry box, which has two other names. "I'll just give you some money to set aside."
"Okay, can you just write your name and number so we know who gave the donation?"
"Yes, fine." I write my name and number and she slyly drops it into the entry box. "THERE! Now you could also win the MICHAEL JACKSON RECORD PLAYER! Thanks for the entry!"
"But I didn't want-- you know what? You're welcome."

I'm terrified to this day that I'm going to get the phone call informing me of my winnings and I will have no place to put a Michael Jackson record player.

So my first time thrifting was awkward at best. I have my eye on another store that I want to try, but in the meantime, I'll stick to clothes that look vintage without the scary thrift-store employees.

Soul Cal Boyfriend Stripe Cardigan, 20 GBP
Cotton-jersey tank, $18
SO Denim Bermuda Shorts, $28
Forever21.com - Shoes - Casual - 2073644433, $20
Red By Marc Ecko Greatest Hits Baguette Bag, $20
Great Horned Necklace, $20

Nautical stuff looks inherently vintage, and you all know about my love for navy and red together. It makes me feel happy inside. I love Bermuda shorts with a pushed-up sleeve, it looks so easy and old fashioned, like a more feminine JFK in the 60s or something. The boat shoes in a bright color make this outfit more modern, and I hope that bag enjoys being purchased by me because I LOVE IT. And it's $20. And has street cred.

Multi floral gypsy dress, 32 GBP
Miss Me Women's London-2 Platform Pump, $50
Mirror Mirror Grape Purse, $38
Teal Flower Petal Cuff
Betsey Johnson - Under The Sea - Shell Drop Earrings (Pearl) - Jewelry, $46
Jessica Simpson - 23100284 (Pale Gold) - Accessories, $40

I LOVE this 70s print in a sleeker cut. To wear vintage clothes, you don't need to look like you stumbled out of a Halloween shop. The cut of the dress makes the very busy print much less costume-y. Pair it with straight-laced, neutral accessories and you have a covet-worth vintage outfit without the Michael Jackson record player pressure.

Ruffled Polka Dot Knit Top, $22
EMBROIDERED HIGH-WAIST SKIRT, $27
Penthouse Women's Audrey Peep Toe Pump, $45
Prezzo Bow Hobo, $28
Black Polka Dot Bangle, 9 GBP
Polka Dot Flower Hair Clip, $3.80

BE STILL MY HEART! I love polka does. Like, love. Like leather jackets, they are a weakness for me. Ooh, I need a polka dot leather jacket! Anyway, I love how adorable and 50s housewife this outfit is. The fullness of the skirt paired with a feminine tops just about makes me want to cook dinner for my husband. Almost. He's on his own tonight. With simple, graphic patterns, I think it's cute to use accessories with the same type, like that bracelet. You could get away with doing the same type of accessories with a stripe on stripe style too.

Flash Distressed Logo Raglan Red Juniors Tee Shirt - TeesForAll.com, $20
Crinkle Design Flare Cut Cotton Jeans - Juniors Clothing > Bottoms &..., $17
Sanuk Stardust Loafer, $48
Mossimo Supply Co. Cargo Crossbody Tote - Brown : Target, $25
Tocs Women's 40211 Analog Oblong Sunshine Yellow Watch, $50

I really feel the urge to own this outfit. I love love love vintage-looking graphic tees. I have a Beatles one that I totally dropped bleach all over and love it even more. And I'm very happy to say that a bigger flare in jeans is coming back in the fall, which is good news for people like me, who never quite got over it. I HAVE A BIG BUTT OKAY? I need some balance. These jeans are perfect. This outfit is so weekend adorable and it makes me want to go watch a hockey game with my friends eating chicken wings in the pub. Yeah, that's the Canadian in me showing through.

I promise I Won't give up so easily on the thrift shopping. I purchase almost all of my books used because I love the idea that someone else read them first. Why shouldn't that apply to really cute clothes? I just need to find some of those amazing deals with less annoying salespeople. Charity found a $2 Guess jacket. I just spent $70 on one. She wins.

Mama Fit Monday: Awesome Workouts Anywhere!!

You don't need a gym or lots of expensive equipment to get in a great workout. I have had some of my best workouts with no equipment. All you need is some imagination and not minding a few odd looks :)

Take a look a this workout I did in a park while I while travelling. It got the job done. I felt my legs for a couple of days. It was different, fun and it worked like a charm. Have fun and let me know how it goes.



Committed to your fitness success,

Kelly Parker
www.fitmommakeover.net

Winner Winner!

Chicken dinner! Ready to find out who is going shopping this weekend, other than me?

Click here!

And because posts are no good without pictures... I give you the jacket I'm going to try on today and hopefully purchase at the Norstrom Anniversary Sale. My lovely friends and family all got me Nordstrom gift cards for my bday and I am EXCITED.



AHHHH must have immediately. Leather jackets are my weakness. Anyone else heading over? Meet you there!

***ETA***

Just got home with this beauty! They didn't have the Steve Madden in stick (boo) but they had this lovely Guess and I totally obliged. WHY in July, you ask? Because it was 50 percent off I say! Isn't she pretty?

!

An Ode to the Wedge

Not to be confused with the WEDGIE, (as a total side note, my first job when I was 15 was in a deli. We had a hot case, and whenever someone would come and order potato wedges as "wedgies" I would erupt into giggles and get the stink-eye from my lesbian manager. No really, she was actually a lesbian. But not the pretty kind.)

The last two or three pairs of shoes I've purchased have been wedges because they make me so very happy in the summer time. They are such a quick and easy way to add non-serious color to an otherwise boring outfit. Not to mention how awesome they make your legs look when worn with a skirt or a pair of bermudas. Seriously. If you're looking for something to punch up your wardrobe for summer without spending a ton of money, get the most bang for your buck and buy a seriously bright pair of wedges. A pair of lemon yellow wedges are on my radar for next purchase.

Here I've assembled a huge array of 40 pairs of awesome wedges that make me oh so happy, with prices starting at $5 (!!) and the highest being a really cute Kate Spade pair I couldn't resist at $171. Does Jae love ya, or does Jae love ya?

Paris Hilton Camila Wedge - Red, $40
Pierre Dumas Fontana-2, $25
Michael Antonio Women's Harriet Wedge, $20
Dune Ankle Tie Cork Wedge Sandals, $27
cork wedge canvas slingbacks - Shoes - at debshops.com, $5

red floral espadrille wedges, $37
Report Tristan Wedge - Red, $36
Picnic Pinup Wedge, $35
Enzo Angiolini Angela Wedge - Red, $45

PLASTICLAND - Deep Purple Ruffled Velvet Platform Wedges, $38
Wine Flocked Ultra Wedges, $50
BP. Cork Wedge Sandal, $60
Emma Pink Phila, $40
Restricted Bloom Slide - Fuchsia, $35

Mia Fifi, $40
Betseyville Bethany Wedge - Blue, $35
Skechers Cali Women's The Pantages Wedge, $30
Naturalizer Women's Stampede Sandal, $38
T-Bar Wedge Sandals, $38

CL by Chinese Laundry Women's Ionia Ajour Gore Slingback Sandal, $38
Turquoise Crinkle Flower Platform Wedge Pump @ Amiclubwear Wedges..., $13
Betseyville Victoria Wedge - Turquoise, $79
Restricted Surf Wedge - Turquoise, $25
cork wedge knotted slingbacks - Shoes - at debshops.com, $26

Bc Footwear Women's Coming Out Party Wedge Sandal, $36
Nine West Cheyanne cork wedge slingback (GREEN), $70
Seychelles YIN, $90
BC Footwear SKIP, $50
Rocket Dog ABBY, $55

KAMPARI, 39 GBP
Miss Sixty Twist Front Wedge Sandal, $56
Kate Spade Women's Metro Wedge Sandal, $171
Pelle Moda Women's Yukio Wedge Ankle Wrap Sandal, $91
Wedges - Daytime bonprix, 18 GBP

Coconuts by Matisse Women's Melrose Sandal, $49
Reaction Cedar Dew LI - Fanta, $72
BCBGirls GEBLYN, $50
Wild Diva Wink18 Wedges, $20
wedge sandals

See anything you like?

(Also, have you entered the giveaway? You have until 11:59 MST on Thursday to win a $60 gift card... and you can totally buy some cute wedges with it! )

Birthday Giveaway!

Hey friends and fans, it's my birthday today, which means it's time for a giveaway. I feel like you should be giving me something, what with it being a normal birthday tradition. But I can overlook it because the giveaway is a really good one including bags and shoes if you so desire. Find out more by clicking HERE.

(No...seriously... click it. Don't miss out on this one.)

Freaky Friday

Good morning lovely friends!

Ready for some freakiness? I know I am. A lot of these were reader submissions... keep them coming because they make me happy. Nothing like getting ugly clothes in the inbox.


First, let's start out with what not to wear while traveling. This is my bff Gaga at London Heathrow. Can you imagine how fast this made the metal detector go off? Oh, sorry, that's just the zippers on my leather chaps. Can you hold them for a minute? Also, I can't imagine that mesh (MESH) top was very warm on the drafty airplane. Just once I'd love to see her step off the plane in like, a sweater and flats.

Also... the bandana? What is she, me from 1999?


I had to look at this and rub my eyes with a squeaky cartoon background noise when I saw these. Leggings (strike one) with holes in the knees (strike two) with fug leather peep toe booties (strikes three, four and five.)


These could be, quite possibly, the ugliest shorts I've ever seen. However the description does make note that there's an antique Mexican blanket sewn into them. REALLY!? I would have never noticed!

Nothing says total comfort like jeans underpants. I feel like I know someone with an aversion to real person clothes or common modesty that might wear these as pants..... but I just can't put my finger on who.


Oh yes, just what I need. Cause for someone to tell me I look "beefy" today. PS I would just get hungry every time I looked in the mirror.


I really don't like this dress' demeanor.

FINALLY! Some practical soccer cleats. These will go perfectly with my vuvuzela! (Which, when spelled out looks far too much like the name for reproductive anatomy for my tastes. As in "Yes, you're almost fully dilated, only your vuvuzela is still making me concerned.)

Alright, let's kick off a good weekend here. I'll let you in on a little secret: I've got a fun weekend planned because it's my birthday/anniversary on Monday. To celebrate, we're going to do a giveaway so I can bring attention to myself and garner birthday wishes! So check back Monday morning and act surprised.)