Freaky Friday

Friday, January 22, 2010

Sorry for the late post, my friend. My schedule was all thrown off kilter this morning. And then I went shopping and bought my 81st pair of shoes. And then my husband met me for lunch and nearly murdered me in the food court. But I'm home now! And as always, on the look out for bad mom fashion.



These were listed as DENIM CAPRI CASUAL HAREM PANTS. Like, how many things are there wrong with that sentence. Besides being the ugliest capri pants ever made, they poof at the bottom. The description also said they were all the rage when it came to the harem trend. No no no no. Harem is not a trend. It is a group of concubines. Who would not be caught dead in those pants.


Apparently SOMEONE didn't read my entry about boots because there were the best seller on my secret, always know I can find bad fashion website. What? WHY? Who is buying these??



...and it's the woman that never ends. It's like she actually wanted an extra five inches on her waist. "Oh, it's just too darn small."



Have I ever told you how much I dislike unattractive people who dress up as witches, belly dancers or medieval characters on a daily basis. Doesn't this shirt just smack of weirdo, with the bell sleeves and the weird green? Ugh, I hate weirdos.




Hey, I love patterned tights as much as the next girl. But not if they make you look like you work at Hot Dog on a Stick. Or "Candy" the prostitute with a heart of gold.



Really? Strapless AND sequins AND the color of baby poo? All mothers will know that this color brings back horrible, horrible memories of the rotovirus bout in '08.




Haha. Why are women still doing this to their bodies. Why yes, I would like to seem like I have unnaturally large shoulders and very high pants, thank you!



K, so does anyone know what this is? It would be a wallet. For your BRA. So you can stuff money and credit cards down the front of your shirt. Yes, I can see where it would be helpful while traveling, but every time you go to pull out money, wouldn't you feel just the slightest bit like a stripper? Be honest.

Also, ten points to whoever can think of the best name for it. I'm thinking RackCatcher. Yes?

6 comments:

The Cake Decorator's Daughter said...

RackCatcher. Ahahahahahaha.

Jana said...

If you are just carrying around a cell phone and have no pockets, there is no better place! :D No need for a special thing though, cleavage works just fine. ;)

Anonymous said...

ok -just b/c you need to know....

My bra is like my purse - on any given day you are likely to find at least one card and one soother in there.

I totally get that one.

:-)

LoLa

Micha said...

Good heavens this post had me laughing. Those capris... wow.

Anonymous said...

The Brallet.

I know it's totes obvious, but that's what makes it genius.

Jae said...

Brallet!!! We have a winner. Loves.
LoLa, I love you. I *do* put my mp3 player in there at the gym. lol.

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