Freaky Friday: Winter Clearance

Did I tell you guys what happened to me a week or two ago? So, I was heading out on my usual Friday shopping excursion when my in laws called to see if they could take the kids for the afternoon, since they hadn't seen them in a while. Of course, I obliged. We were already ready to go so it was a quick deposit. THEN I went and had lunch with my adorable husband. AND THEN!! When I got to the mall, I found out they were having a sidewalk sale. I think there was a beam of light shining down on me and the angel's chorus was singing, because I had to have been living righteously for all those stars to align.

But oh, winter clearance. How you delight me and pain me at the same time. Perfect time to get new sweaters (I bought a TON of those comfy drapey ones and they make me SO happy) but such a bad, bad time for getting rid of kookoo merchandise that no one would ever wear. Like these:


K, so apparently this Twilight line didn't sell very well because EVERY piece was on 50% off. What I don't get is this: I kind of understand the "Team Whatever" shirts, but this makes no sense. No one will even get the shirt, and you just look like a weirdo. Slash, if you are a mom, you'll also look like a pedophile. I like Twilight as much as the next girl, but the other day I watched it on Starz at home for the first time, and without all the screaming girls and buttery popcorn, it's a stupid movie. For more fun, check out this article here on the Oatmeal. Also, check out "Why Printers Were Sent from Hell" and "Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth". LOVE.



Um... okay... Fur vests were quite popular during the winter. But ballsy, capey ones? They are a cool 40% off because no one likes them and thinks you're douchey for wearing them.



*Taps model on the shoulder* "Um, miss? I don't want to alarm you, but.... *glances around awkwardly* You have a zebra chewing on your breast."



Does this not remind you of bad maternity clothes i nthe early 90s? Like everything was huge and swingy and had like, a sailor collar? AWFUL. The worst part about this one is that it's 30% off and still is over $100.



On the bright side (PUN VERY MUCH INTENDED) you can also help to direct traffic.


Why do these scary leggings have drapery tassels on the bottom? If I saw someone wearing these I would be so tempted to step on them to see if I could make her trip. I'll be honest; I'm not a nice person.



OMGGGGG can I explain my hatred for these AWFUL headbands? Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE around here owns one. And I have yet to see someone NOT look homeless while wearing one. What's with the giantness of it? It looks like a regular hat with the top cut off. JUST WEAR A HAT. Okay, you know what? I am getting too heated. I must step away from the picture and go look at my shoes or something. Just letting you know, these are very much on winter clearance. Because they are horrible.