Guilt Free Attractiveness

Sunday, September 20, 2009

So.

I was just thinking about how sometimes, when you're a mom, you show up all disheveled and then say annoying things about how you never get to shower since you had a kid and you don't bother to wear PANTS because that would be taking time away from precious Swayzie (can I just say a kid in my daughter's preschool class is named this and it makes me want to simultaneously throw up and dance? Like, I love Dirty Dancing as much as the next gal and love me some Patrick, but naming your kid after him? Weird.) So mom's generally use their kids as the big excuse as to why they don't take care of themselves.

Wrong.
Couple things. 1) Um, I'm pretty sure showering is a basic human right and 2) who said that your kid wants to look at his dumpy mom all day?

You should NEVER feel guilty about taking care of yourself. Really. Those women who are complete martyrs for their kids wind up crazy OR having to deal with their husband's wandering eye, if you know what I mean.

That's why you should streamline your process of getting ready to a few different points of attractiveness, so that you can plan accordingly. My three points are 1) Errand running attractiveness, 2) Lunch out or business attractiveness and 3) Super hot Friday night attractiveness. I know down to the minute, how long each of these will take me. For instance, if I am having lunch or meeting with someone important, I know it takes me exactly 30 minutes from shower to shoes to get ready. So, I plan my day accordingly. Half hour before I need to leave, kids are entertained by something or plopped in the tub while I do my makeup in the bathroom. You NEED to be able to carve out 30 minutes for yourself without feeling guilty.

I have a three year old daughter, and I bought her a set of brushes that she uses while I'm getting ready. I hand her a cheap compact of clear face powder and voila! 30 minutes of sanity while I get ready.

If you are the enterprising sort and REALLY feel guilty about taking time for yourself, try doing it first thing in the morning before kids are up. Not only are you not taking time away from kidlings, but you start the day off on the right foot, lookin' fine and stuff.

Find products and styles that work effortlessly, and I really mean effortlessly. I am addicted to Bare Minerals because it cut my moisturizer/foundation/poweder to one step and I am dunzo. If I don't have time to shower, hair is in a cute pony a la Jennifer Aniston (I just run a straight iron through my bangs and call it good.)




The point is, justifying to yourself that you don't look good because you have kids just isn't good enough anymore. Not to mention, um, why the heck are you blaming your kids? Look at their sweet l'il faces. You're a jerk.

As for clothes, just pick an easy style that you can pull off without trying on a bajillion things in your closet. If you need to, lay it out the night before, or do what I do and plan things on events rather than days, ie: lunch with the girls, Friday night date, day just hacking around the house not doing anything special other than trying to convince myself to do a Turbo Jam DVD and eating peanut butter on crackers instead. That way, no matter what is thrown at you on any given day, you're like oh hey, I'll be ready in twenty mins. And then everyone will be like "OMG, she is so put together. She must spend like three hours getting ready. Like, when does she even spend time with her kids?"

And you can be smug. Yay! I love to be smug!

5 comments:

Nathaly Blalock said...

Hahaha! Love it. This post cracked me up. "Like, when does she even spend time with her kids?" You KNOW people think that about moms who look fab all the time.

Crystal said...

100 % agree! I know I don't always look put together, but I feel like it is my job as a mom to look presentable. As a kid, I was always embarrassed of the way my mom. I would rather have my kids be embarrassed of me because I act dorky around them and their friends, not because I look like I just rolled out of bed. I would never go to work dressed like a slob. Since being mom is my job, I like to dress like I would at any other job. It's just casual Friday everyday.

Natalie said...

AMEN!! I'm tired of getting the look of disgust because I work out or dress nice, I'm just so self centered!!LOL. I'm way more productive and positive because I take time for myself. Great Post as always.

Joy said...

I think Swayzie is an odd name too but maybe it's a family name & not after the oh-so-lovable Patrick. The only Swayze I've heard of got her name from somewhere back in the family tree. Still an "interesting" choice...

As for the rest of the post, thanks for the reminder! And for the idea of different levels of attractiveness.

Mrs. P said...

you are spot on! i feel i get judged by the unkept mothers for looking so put together at 9am. i have friends that actually make fun of the moms that take the time to look put together just to drop their kids off at preschool.

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