Freaky Friday

Alright, this is going to be short because I have BIG PLANS today, you guys. Those plans include going to the local extreme gym and jumping in foam pits with my kids because I'm five years old at heart. Last time we went, I totally took on the trapeze. I nearly peed my pants I was so scared. Also, this means I'll be traipsing around the county in yoga pants. I am trying to make them look presentable enough that I can wear them out to lunch with with the hubs. Challenge accepted! Don't make fun of me.


I feel like these are the evil queen in Snow White, but in shoe form. Also, am I the only one who doesn't *get* open-toed boots?

Other things I don't *get*
-Dressing in "grandma chic."
-The appeal of 98 percent of famous people
-Why my husband doesn't want to take me to see "The Vow" on Valentine's day
-When people drive slowly in front of me
-Jumpsuits


This poor girl has a bad case of sad, sleepy boob. It's like her breasts are the Eeyore of anatomy.


The other day I tucked a pen behind my ear. While I was downstairs cleaning up my kitchen (and by "cleaning up my kitchen" I mean playing Scramble with Friends against my brother) the pen slipped out and went down the back of my shirt and I literally (not figuratively) had a heart attack. I can't imagine how I would feel with wayward wiry strings making their way up my shorts.

Also, this model is at like, a stage 5 sandwich alert.


Someone tried telling me that "overalls are coming back" the other day. Yeah. Train engineers -- so hot right now.

And what is with everything in knits lately? I SWEAR Etsy has ruined knitted clothes for me. Knitted shorts, knitted overalls, knitted everything. I don't know if I want to live anymore.


Someone emailed this to me! Does anyone want to claim it? I tend to believe in leaving things to the imagination. I feel like this does the trick. I mean, you can't see ALL of her belly freckles, right?


Oh hey, multiple personality pants. The fug shorts just weren't enough to satisfy you, were they? You just HAD to add sheer pants, didn't you? WHO AM I TALKING TO!?


I enjoyed a brief but intense infatuation with Braveheart when I was like, 15. My brother had the special edition VHS tapes and changed our computer theme so when you shut it down it yelled "You can take our lives but you can never take our freedom." Also, we were huge nerds. In related news, I'm about 600 percent sure this is an actual costume from the movie. Freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeedoooooooooooooooooooooooom!


I don't care if fur vests are in right now. I watched "Kourtney and Kim Take New York" last night and they were both wearing fur vests and they looked like sasquatches. I generally try to stay away from looking like mythical apes, but whatevs, right?

Ohhhhh I think it's time to bring back JANET RENO'S DANCE PARTY!! The amount of love I have cannot be described.


Nothing says "I'm weirdly obsessed with The Matrix" like these pants. Just as a general rule, can we say that butt capes are super unnecessary in all applications? That would be great.



Alright, I have to go shimmy into my super cool yoga pants to go act like a child for the rest of the day. As a making-healthy-meals-for-my-children mom, I pretty much suck. But as a removing-all-shame-to-play-in-foam-pits mom, I kinda rock. It's my saving grace.

Ask Jae!

Who WOULDN'T take fashion advice from this girl!?

When I started this blog back in the winter of 08/09, I did it because I was always having friends ask me questions about style, jewelry and fashion in general. It was just a place where I thought they could go and grab quick info on... well, not dressing like a mom. Since then, my style has completely evolved (seriously, I look at some of my old posts and I'm like oh dear, what was I thinking?) and gained a ton more readers (no longer my tiny circle of friends!) but I still get questions all of the time. And since I never want this to be a "everyone come see how good I look" blog, I have to get that perfect balance of advice, bad clothes, outfits and all the rest to make me feel happy inside.

So today is a great day for cleaning out my email inbox to address any concerns you have fashion-wise. Keep 'em coming, because if I don't answer them publicly, I definitely will shoot you an email. I'm super nice like that.

Here we go guys, it's time for Ask Jae! (Ps I always wanted to be a Dear Abby type. This is me living out my dreams.)

Kate (and a ton of Facebook fans) asked about boots for wide calves. I hear this question ALL of the time and it's something that I even have issues with. I have a pair of boots that are crazy tight and I'm always stuffing my legs into them like I'm putting a tent away after camping. That was a fantastic visual.

Alright, here are your options. Shop for boots in specifically wide widths. Endless.com has an awesome selection of wide boots and you can narrow down your search easily. Another think is to look for boots with stretch. Here's a hint: if the boot can stand up on its own, it's really stiff and doesn't have much give. Look for a thinner construction with interest like ruching, which is really just in place to hide the fact that the boot is stretchy. Another product you might be interested in is the Boot Band. It's an insert you zip into the boot to give you a little more wiggle room. Also, if you have larger calves, look for a flat riding boot or a skinny heel. As my friend Kate noted in her email, anything else WILL make you look like a Clydesdale. Which is no bueno unless you want to work for Budweiser.

Next!!

Ashleigh, who is my IRL friend, asked about how to match jewelry to your outfit. Personally, I'm not a jewelry planner. I play it like a date and just go with what feels right. But I do have a few rules that I typically follow. I don't like jewelry to be close to each other, so I rarely wear earrings and a necklace together. I like the emphasis to be on the actual design of the jewelry, so I don't like it to be competing with other stuff. When it comes to matching necklaces to necklines, consider the space you have to fill. In general, if you're wearing a minimalist look, it's OK to go with chunkier jewelry. But busy clothes call for little jewels or nothing at all. It's all about balance, people.

Jamie asked what I thought were "must haves" for your wardrobe. I wrote about that like, two years ago, but the list could use some refreshing. I would definitely start with a dark wash pair of boot cut jeans. I'm also think a crisp white button-up is a perfect layering piece and think that a slim-cut cardigan must be in there too. A pair of basic heels and a pair of flats are definitely necessary, and I really think you should have an amazing jacket. Leather, trench, whatever, just something more than a parka, please.

Shawna asked what I recommend for long-waisted, normal-legged peeps to avoid drop-crotch. Two words: trouser. jeans. Because you have a long waist, you really need to bring up your natural waist to look more balanced. Trouser jeans hit higher on the hips so your torso looks shorter and because they're meant to hit around or just below the belly button, you won't get saggy crotch. Saggy crotch makes me sad.

Nicola was worried that she can't wear dresses because she's short, chubby and adverse to heels. Never fear, Nicola. First, stop calling yourself chubby. Babies are chubby. You are delightful. Secondly, I totally recommend a pair of pretty flats in place of heels. I wear mine with skirts and dresses all the time as a jeans alternative during the week. I just bought some cute lace flats and I'm excited for it to warm up so I can wear them with casual skirts. Just wear them when you try on stuff -- it's easier to get the picture when you have the right shoes. Trying on skirts with runners or socks is GROSS.

Wendy wants to know how to hide the fact that her pants are a little tight in the tummy as she works to lose weight. Wendy, it happens to the best of us. You've seen the post where I wore my fat day special, right? Totally works with jeans. Just grab a loosey, chiffon-type top and wear it with a slim-cut blazer or cardigan. It's how you wear loose clothes without looking like a total slob. Crisis averted.

Ashley asked whether or not it was OK for shorties to wear maxi dresses. That, my friend, is a super emphatic YES. I'm an astounding 5'4 and I would die without my maxi dresses. In fact, they give you a nice, lean line that can actually put a little height on you. Just try choosing a maxi that is long enough to hit the floor (shouldn't be hard for us shorties) and then pair it with some cute wedges. It's totally on-trend and it'll give you a couple extra inches of height, even though that freaks my husband out. lol.

Debbi asked about necklines for different face shapes and body types. Check it!

And finally, Nelda, a girl after my own heart asked about decorating a log home. I know this has nothing to do with fashion, but I thought I'd give her some ideas on dressing her abode, since log homes are weird. I am very against my house looking "cabiny." We have a cabin and that can be cabiny. My house doesn't need to have animal heads on the walls. It's too kitsch when you already live in a log home. Since the logs are really heavy, you can't really be minimalist with decorating. I like black wood, heavy pieces and furniture that can hold its own against the size and color of the logs. You can check out my personal blog for some random house pics (I've posted a couple here too) but basically I look for bold, oversized furniture. Also, the entire house is painted in the same palette... I don't think a log house lends itself well to different colors in each room. I just customized the palette for each room -- my room is tan and a deep, browny green, and the kids' room has the same two tone paint but with red plaid accents. Does that help?

That was both fun and long winded. I hope everyone learned as much as I did. I actually didn't learn that much, but I am excited that email inbox is cleaned out for like, the next five minutes at least.

What I Wore: Black and Red

Just so you know, I totally completed my weekend goal of watching the first season of Downton Abbey. It is TOO good. Now I'm onto the second season in time to catch up to the new episodes on TV. I am obsessed. Which also means I didn't do much over the weekend. I worked on some stuff with a looming deadline, ate some Mini Eggs and hung out with the fam. I love me a low-key weekend.

So, this is basically what I wore all weekend. I'll admit, black and red isn't the most creative color combination in the world -- it's pretty basic. But when I'm in a rush, it's an old standby that I know looks good with zero effort on my part. It seemed like when I got ready this past weekend, it was all under a super fast time limit, so I gladly went with stuff I knew looked good.

Like when my husband bumped up our date night to accommodate the return of Jimmer against the Jazz on TV (only true basketball widows know what I'm talking about)


Top: I can't remember and it's in the wash now so I can't look at the label.
Jacket: c/o mod bod
Skinnies: Refuge
Shoes: Dear
Earrings and ring: F21

When we first took these pics, the flash made my shirt super see-through so I had to add a cami. I felt like such a celeb!

OMG STORY TIME! So, at the last minute we decided to bring the kids along with us to our "date night." It was completely disastrous. I had called ahead for reservations for two, so it threw them for a loop when we showed up with four. Before our dinner arrived, my son had spilled his root beer and an entire salt shaker, then proceeded to spoon spaghetti into his jacket when we weren't looking. Then, I was imitating the way my son eats spaghetti and my daughter laughed so hard she totally vacuumed up a noodle into her wind pipe and then choked for a full minute, resulting in my performing a reformed Heimlich and her barfing onto her lap. Then, they brought out dessert for the kids, which was a cup of pudding decorated like dirt with worms and my son become so convinced that it was REAL dirt and REAL worms that he carried it home with him and has been treating it like a pet ever since.

It's OK though, because we left a really good tip and promised ourselves to never ruin our date night with kids ever again.

Then, Sunday morning started with an early meeting for the husband, so I had an hour to get me and the kids bathed, dressed and fed all by my lonesome, so red and black came to my rescue again.


Dress: c/o eShakti
Belt: c/o mod bod
Tights: F21
Bracelet: Vintage
Shoes: Steve Madden
Ring: Lia Sophia

(Ignore the wrinklage -- that's totally a word -- this picture was taken after three hours of kid wrangling and after our Saturday night escapades, I didn't care.)

Check out this bracelet too. It's one of my fave pieces from my collection because it was my late grandmother's and she had amazing taste in jewelry.


The coolest thing is that the jewelry is stamped with a "JC" hallmark, which are mine and my hubs' initials. I would say that's pretty cool.

Also, I'd like to point out that while I was uploading pictures, I found this on my camera:

Yeah, that's my daughter taking a dramatic selfie on my camera. What...the....heck.

Anyway, I got all of the red and black out of my system for now, so expect to see more creative color combos in the future. Unless Jimmer is playing again.

Also, on Wednesday I'm going to answer some of the questions that have come through my email inbox. If you have a fashion-related question you want me to answer, send it on over and I'll include with with this week's Q&A. You can also post them on the Facebook page or in the comments of this post if you're so inclined! I promise I won't make fun of you.

OK, I might make fun of you. But I'll also answer your question too, so it'll be worth it.

Happy Monday everyone!

Giveaway Winner and Freaky Friday!!

Hey guys! If you want to see who won the mod bod giveaway, head over to the swag page to check out. Thanks to everyone who entered and shared the page with friends. I was feelin' the love, but not in a creepy date in a dark theater way.

OK! Hows about some Freaky Friday? I Have a pretty relaxed Friday planned and I am WAY too excited about it. Lunch with the hubs and then an afternoon nap with the kids? Don't mind if I do! I also just started watching Downton Abbey on Netflix and I am loving it! If anyone likes Kate Morton as a writer, you'll love this series. Very posh family drama. So that's pretty much my weekend taken care of right there.

Here we go!



Michelle sent me this offering from Pinterest. My favorite part was that it was pinned to a board that was called "Covet Worthy." Um, I think you spelled "cringe" wrong. On the bright side, I'm fairly sure you can smuggle small children in your pant legs but I'm pretty sure that's abuse.

L. sent me an entire website for JUST LEGGINGS. K, whatever, I'm fine as long as you don't wear them as pants or have suspicious color pattern darkening around your crotchal area. One of the many, many hazards of wearing jumpsuits, people!


L. also sent me what was labeled a "cotton tube." How about we just go ahead and eliminate all tube-related clothes from the earth? Jumpsuit tubes.... tube tops....tube socks.... am I missing anything? Now the word "tube" is sounding funny to me. Don't you hate when that happens? My full name is Jacqueline and when I say it too often I start thinking it's the WEIRDEST name ever.


I can't remember who sent them to me, so whoever it is, comment and claim your awesomeness!! My husband took one look at this and said, "What is that, a normal girl wearing Khloe Kardashian's pants?"

.... and that's why I married him, folks. Ouch.


Sara sent me this beaut from Etsy. It was labeled as a "Fun sweater." Really? Because to me it looks like someone got a 5 year old drunk and asked her to design a shirt for the school play. SO FUN, RIGHT?

The acid wash denim shorts are a nice touch. Do we have any nevernudes in the house?


My cute cousin Stephanie sent me this dress. Look, I Loved Toy Story 3 as much as the next mom weeping into her popcorn uncontrollably, but I've never had the desire to make my hips look wider with a squeaky toy.

OMG, I also took my daughter to Beauty and the Beast the other day and sobbed through that too. What is wrong with me!?


Stephanie also sent me this, which made me laugh because I can totally imagine my 5 year old doing this and being like "Look, mom I'm a unicorn!" And I would be all "LOL!" to her face but in private I'd ask my husband if maybe we should take her to see someone.


Can we just set a general rule that knit shorts are never a good idea? They look like thigh sweaters and that makes me uncomfortable.


This shirt/dress/tunic has split personalities. It's business at the top, dinner with the girls in the middle and then eight-grade birthday party decorations at the bottom. So... next time you have all three on the same day you are totally set.



Thanks to everyone who sent submissions to me over the last couple of weeks. You know you can also send some submissions via the Facebook page or right to my email.

Now, off to my hot date with Masterpiece Theatre... jealous?

mod bod Review and Giveaway!

YAY I have been waiting for this giveaway for a week now! You guys know I don't do a lot of giveaways. I'm super selective about the stuff I choose to do (if I wouldn't wear or buy it, I can't let you guys either) and plus, I think blogs that do a giveaway every day are buggy. But this one is great, so pay attention!

mod bod contacted me to see if I'd like to do a review of their store and their latest line They started me off by sending me their Signature line to try. And not to sound like a suck-up, but they've definitely become my favorite layering tees and camis. My problem with layering stuff is I usually hate the cut. Like, the neckline is basically a turtleneck and it ruins the way things look when they're layered. mod bod stuff is super modest, but not like, nun modest. Which I appreciate. So when they invited me to come take a look at their store, I was like um, OK! Why would I turn that down?

So I popped by last Friday and started trying on stuff. When I shop, I like to put things together like a collection. Instead of grabbing willy nilly stuff that I think I like, I pick a few different pieces that I can mix and match into a ton of different outfits, so that's how I tackled this shopping trip. Check out some of the awesome finds I tried on!


Like this!


... I'm totally kidding. mod bod is absolutely not the place you'd find Pauly D crop tops. I shudder. SHUDDER.

Instead, I found gorgeous stuff like this:


I saw this cream skirt when I first walked in and was all "Hello, lover." It was the first thing I snagged to try on. I also freaked out over that leopard cardi - it's the perfect pattern without being boozy.


Right? (Excuse the mirror pics. My sister in law came with to snap some shots but the lighting in the fitting rooms was TOO good. Like, I want to go try on swimsuits there, that's how good it was.) But seriously. I love this outfit. The shirt is super textured with a brocade pattern, so it's interesting without being like I HAVE A SKIRT crazy. Oh, did I mention they had it in pink?


They do. How cute would an outfit like this be for a Valentine's Day date? Plus blush pink is HUGE right now. And with an open cardi? I die. I love the mix of the leopard with the texture of the skirt. They were meant for each other. And check out the texture and bandage effect of the shirt. It's super flattering. And the belt came with.


I also really loved this layering tee on its own. It's basic but it has the double-V to make it a little different and the fit is amazing. I'm a solid size 6 and this is a medium shirt, just for size comparison when shopping. It fit like a glove without being too tight -- another major issue with layering tees. Also, baby got back. But it's OK.


I loved their girly stuff, but they also had some harder-edge pieces that I had to try too. This old-school fisherman's sweater went right over the layering tee and looks all snuggly and hot chocolate warm.


Finally, I tried on this leather jacket because I'm OBSESSED with them and already have seven, so naturally I would want another. I loved the asymmetrical zipper and ruffles on this one to make it a little girlier. Also, boots and socks woo!

See what I mean about shopping in a collection? Literally every one of the pieces that I picked can be worn with each other, meaning I get the most bang for my buck when choosing new pieces.

Altogether, I had an awesome time at mod bod. For one, the first thing the manager said to me was "We have tons of other sizes in the back." Don't you hate it when you go to a store and they're like "Oh, if it's not out here we don't have it." Annoying, right? Plus they had super basic stuff like layering tees and camis, but then "special" stuff like a cool leather jacket or a flared ruffle skirt. Love. The sales staff was super helpful without being buggy and I loved how all the pieces went together. Kinda makes it a no-brainer when trying to make outfits.

Want to see what I went home with?


You know I can't say no to leopard, right?
Cami, cardigan and skirt: mod bod
Shoes: Steve Madden
Jewelry: F21
Also, like my new hair?


I love a mix of super girly with the pinks and floral and then tougher stuff, like leopard and dark patent leather on the shoes and belt. It's a big-time "Jae" look.



Anyway, I'm super happy with my mod bod experience and the pieces I picked up. They're awesome quality, super cute and the entire store was made up of stuff that I already love. And I'd be lying if I said my leather jacket count didn't now rest at eight.

But mod bod wants you to try out their newest line too. Seriously, I keep reaching for my camis the second they get out of the dryer, which for me is the biggest indication of how much I like an item of clothing.

SO, mod bod is offering a 25 percent off code for all online purchases when you use the code BLOGFRIENDS25 during checkout, yay! They are also having some awesome sales going on right now, so that's extra cool.

Local girls, they have stores in Springville, University Mall in Orem and in American Fork, but they also have a great online store.

And to win $70 worth of mod bod swag for yourself, click through to our swag page over here and enter away!!

What I Wore: White After Labor Day

Omg, I have a major case of the Mondays today. I've been sitting at my computer for like, two hours and gotten nothing done but watched videos on Youtube, played Scramble with Friends and checked Facebook obsessively. I need a shot of motivation like, NOW.

I never understood obscure fashion rules about the colors that you can and can't wear and when to wear them. And when does the "after" Labor Day part of the rule apply? I mean, every day BUT Labor Day technically comes after. It's confusing and annoying. So I ignored it and wore my white skirt with my chambray shirt and black tights and called it good. Take that, obscure fashion rules!


Chambray shirt: Papaya
Belt: I have no earthly idea.
Skirt: Ricki's (Canada)
Tights: F21
Shoes: Charlotte Russe
Watch: Gucci
Necklace: Nordstrom



I loved the mix of a super casual shirt with a super glittery heel. I'm all about mixing and matching the two.



Glittery neck AND feet? I die. I've also heard that you shouldn't wear navy and black together. I say a hearty "Whatevs" to that!

I had my hair done last week so this is the last long hair pic. I had some cut off and went tons blonder. WOO! But I shall reveal on Wednesday, because....


...we're going to have a giveaway! Check back then for an entire store review plus some super cool swag that YOU can win! So definitely come hang out with me on Wednesday. In the meantime, I have a 1p.m. deadline for other work and it's almost here so I have to get going. Thank goodness for Mango-Peach Crystal Light and an iPod stocked with Lily Allen or I would never get anything done.

Freaky Friday: Fun with Keywords

Today is one of those Fridays that I have been off and running since the alarm hit. And I'm super excited because this afternoon I'm heading off to do some prep work for a giveaway on Wednesday, so be excited too!

The more posts I have on my site and the more colorful language I use, the more weird searches I get in my Statcounter. I'm always super amazed at how people stumble across my blog -- like, seriously, people. Besides the completely perverted, I've got an entire new batch for weirdness that came up in the keyword analysis of my website's stats. OH YEAH.

"Kama sutra snuggie."

If tacky infomercial products turn you on, you're beyond my help. Also, ew.

"How to not be like your husband's mother."

My advice would probably be to not be like your husband's mother. Because it sounds like you kind of hate her.

"Padded butt jeans."

Might I introduce you to Booty Pop? Or you can totally have some of my booty, because I'm just nice amd charitable like that.

"Sexy lamp."

I saw this in the Sky Mall catalog the last time I flew and I was like yeah, just what I need. A light fixture that is skinnier than me.

"Pictures of cute hamsters eating pencils."

...........................

I don't even know anymore.

"Foot undies."


Look, I know that these are for dance and stuff but please, they are a foot fetishist's dream.

"Wearing overalls and desperate to pee."

Oh hey, welcome to my site, anyone who has ever worn overalls. It serves you right for 1) wearing overalls in the first place and 2) Googling this instead of just using the washroom. It honestly makes me wonder what is wrong with the human race.

"Worst tube top ever."

I believe that it would be any tube top ever. This isn't "In Living Color," so you can go ahead and put some clothes on.

"Freaky bustier."

I decided to Google that exact phrase and came up with this. I believe it's from "How to Dress Like a Terrifying Russian Spy-Lady."

"Pimp clothes."

Ooh, how about a sexy pimp costume? As a special touch, this was listed for teens and it said it came with "shorts." Let me know if you can find them.

"Why I'll never dress like my parents did."

Because my dad got married in a powder blue leisure suit and that's a good enough reason for me.

"Clever ways to hide a microwave."

Well, it definitely won't fit in your purse, so I'm thinking you should just splurge and buy the popcorn AT the theatre.

"Half skirt half shorts."

These are called culottes. I had some when I was seven. STOP IT.




Well, whatever way people get here, I'm just glad you come to hang out every Friday, you big pervs!

Happy weekend, everyone!

**Please note that I moved the comments link back down to the bottom with my latest bloggy facelift. So click it and use it often or I'll be forced to eat my feelings kthanx.**