Vertically Challenged

So, let's face it. I'll never be on America's Next Top Model. Even the one that they had for short people, I'm fairly sure I would be too little still. At a staggering 5'4", I've learned that the fashion world is not kind to those who don't tower over their peers. Sadness.

I received a really good question from a reader who shared in my frustration. And while she was short, she felt like she had to wear longer shirts to mask the dreaded mummy tummy, making her look only shorter. Boo. I FEEL YOUR PAIN.

Luckily, there are a lot of "work arounds" for this type of thing. Let me tell you right now, I am the queen of all "work arounds". You know, like when something doesn't work right away you find another way to do it? Once upon a time I worked in e-commerce, and I swear my boss kept me on for the sole purpose that I never asked him how to do anything. I would just make up my own way. Process is silly.

It's also the reason I suck at math.

But I digress. Just because you're not an amazon lady doesn't mean you can't have great style. And what's more, you can use it to your advantage to make you look a whole inch taller. While I prefer the four inch heel method, you can even do it in flats, all while camouflaging your less than perfect parts. Ignore all fashion made for models and find stuff for REAL, LIVE people. Plus, have you seen this ? You don't want to look like that anyway. If you thought your playgroup buddies judged you harshly before, show up looking like the corpse bride and see what they think.

WHAT DID YOU EVER DO WITHOUT ME?

AND! I found out that my neato Polyvore tool for making outfits can also give you clickable links to find the items. Soooo get out your wallets, ladies!

Items in this set:
Chiffon Ruffle Tie Top - Women's Clothing and Apparel - Chic Dresses,..., $49
Indigo bootcut jeans, 15 GBP
Sexy! Red Classic Pointed Toe Pumps - Special Occasion, $20
Cole Haan 'Whitney' Zip Hobo Handbag
Jessica Simpson - Leather and Chains Cuff Bracelet (Rust Leather) -..., $48

So why does this work? A few reasons. The shirt is totally embellished and frilly so it covers up problem areas without being fuddy duddy. It stops at the hips, where you get a loooong leg line thanks to bootcut jeans and a pointy toe shoes. Pointy toes extend the foot longer, making the whole effect sleeker so you look statuesque. Plus, how awesome is red and yellow together? Ugh it makes me feel springy and lovely.

Items in this set:
Womens AE Flocked Dot Shirt - White, $35
Grey dog tooth pencil skirt, 23 GBP
Violet glitter platform peep toe shoes, 18 GBP
Carlotta's Large Oval Black Onyx Cocktail Ring, $48
Betsey Johnson - Vintage Vicky Crystal Bow Pendant (Crystal) - Jewelry, $41

Alright, well it's no secret that I have a violent love affair with pencil skirts, but it is my secret that I totally use them to look taller. Because they sit so much higher on the waist, they make the leg line look insanely long. Paired with a cute pump, you get major height. What's more, pencil skirts are a mom's best friend EVER. They flatter everyone and lock your body into this totally flattering, hourglass pin-up girl shape.

Items in this set:
Crochet Cardigan W/ Sash, $35
Womens AE Cut It Out Cami - Dockside Blue, $25
Indigo wide leg jeans, 20 GBP
Monsoon Accessorize - Pleated Satin Ballerina Pumps, 15 GBP
Candice Large Plaid Tote, $16

K, last one. This one is so flattering and easy for running errands or whatever. The cardigan (which I am SO buying) brings your waistline nice and high, and then camouflages imperfections with an attention grabbing satin bow. Pair it with a same-color shirt underneath and your top half looks TINY. Then, trouser jeans. I just bought a pair of trousers from the Gap and oh, how I love them. Paired with flats, it is the best way to look put together, without too much work. I mean, anyone can handle three pieces in the morning.

So, even if Tyra Banks would give you the boot (and who cares anyway? Girlfriend is RIDICULOUS) you can still look hot and put together. The cardigan might have drool on it, and there's likely diapers in your sweet satchel, but no one needs to know but you.