Freaky Friday: Designer Finds

IT IS STILL TECHNICALLY FRIDAY! Forgive my late posting, I had some Valentine's Day things to attend to today. Namely receiving gifts from my husband, and trotting off to the mall to find that to my dismay, one pound of chocolate dipped strawberries would cost me $15 and I resolved to make them myself instead. I was craving them the other day, and NO JOKE, after surveying the state of my fridge, I ended up dipping raspberries in chocolate pudding and feeling very sorry for myself indeed.

Anyhow, I just got home from the movies and thought, for a laugh, I'd go through some of the most expensive designer items and see what freaky friday goodness I could find. Guess what? It was shockingly simple. For kicks, everything on this page is over $1,000 and HORRIBLE.


Exhibit A: A $4,000 jewel encrusted purse. Exhibit B: My ridiculous looking mini-schnauzer. She only cost $450, and is a living, breathing MAMMAL. Plus she looks better in a butterfly costume.

I KNOW.


I have been trying to think of what purpose this monkey dress serves. The best I could come up with is to wear it when you have really bad PMS. Ain't no one gonna mess with you. You are wearing teeth. On your boobs.


This jacket looks like the inhabitants of Fraggle Rock and the Muppets got a little tipsy at a bad frat party, made out and ended up barfing in the same bathroom. Hideous, yet smells like Fruit Loops.


No, go ahead and rub your eyes again. You are looking at a leather skirt ATTACHED to cashmere bloomers for a cool $2,000. It's a steal! I swear, I tried to make this clickable, because who isn;t always looking for the perfect pair of bloomers, but alas I cannot reveal my sources.


Yup. Wear this. You're guaranteed to be beat up. By me.



Ah! Ah! Wear this with the gorilla dress! Please? Oh it would be so perfect. Who can I get to wear this perfect combination? Oh Ladyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!


Like, this suit was okay, I can get on board with a print, cute cut and the OH SWEET MOTHER WHY ARE THERE TISSUE PAPER SQUARES SQUIDGING OUT THE BOTTOM? What will the kindergartners use for Mother's Day crafts??


Okay, weird nautical shoulder flappy pocket dress.


OKAY! Crazy designer shoe roundup!!!


A weird '80s sweater which I'm fairly sure I owned.


Wicker chairs at my grandmother's house.


Aaaaand cheap office furniture from Wal-Mart.

Thanks, designers, for reminding me that anyone will buy your overpriced and whackadoodle crap as long as your gold studded name is stamped on it somewhere.