Freaky Friday

Yay Friday! It's my daughter's birthday weekend, so I have to get moving. Did I ever tell you never to have two children in the same birth month? What a terrible, terrible idea. I so want this over.

THEN! I'm going to see my best friend in Canada on Thursday (so you're going to have to do without a Freaky Friday posting) because I will be here. No biggies, it's just my shopping MECCA and I haven't been in like ten years. And it's not like I've been socking money away in my secret shopping account that my husband doesn't know about so I can blow it all on a marathon shopping spree or anything.

Anyhow, onto the post!



I feel like Lady Gaga is going to read my blog and be like "YES! Yes! I have been looking everywhere for an amoeba dress! Thank you, Jae. You've inadvertently helped your greatest enemy." And then she'll snap her fingers, and her tiny purple little people assistants (which I can only assume she has) will run off to their secret golden sewing room and make one while listening to "Bad Romance" on replay, after which she'll pay them in spankings.

Gaga ooh la la, indeed.

There are so many things wrong with this vest. It a SHAWL COLLAR, GREEN CHENILLE, KANGAROO POCKET vest, people. Why even buy this? Just go ahead and sign up for the PTA craft swap now.


Ugh, AGAIN with the harem pants. Am I the only one who thinks they just make you look like you have droopy saddlebags?


But, just in case harem pants aren't enough, invest in a whole harem outfit. You know what? I can respect this as a complete and utter commitment to dressing badly.

PS, where would you even wear this??

Don't you hate it when you're rushing out the door, kids, keys and phone in hand, you get to our kid's school and step out to drop him off, only to realize you've totally forgotten to put on PANTS? So embarrassing, right? Don't worry. It happens to the best of us.


Could this smack anymore of Paula Deen and meatloaf? Sweet mother. Also, I heard Paula Deen was going to be a guest judge on American Idol. WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO OUR SOCIETY?


K, are the horseshoes even necessary? I fell like they are just a smidgen too literal.


My awesome cousin in Canada sent me this gem. Get ready for this.

It's a bra.

With prepasted nipples.

So you can look cold all of the time, yet still have the support of a good bra.

Like Demi Moore, on the cover of G.I. Jane.

It was $2000. Or $2,200, for my Canadian friends.

JGFSJHG@#MFKJHGLKJ.

Sorry, that was me hitting my head against the computer.