Revisiting: Capri Alternatives, or That Girl That I Hate

So I KNOW this is a repost, but I thought I'd revisit the whole capri debate. Especially since I'm leaving on vacation TODAY and still need to make a batch of muffins. MUFFINS! Since when am I so domestic?

Before I repost this, I'd like to reiterate when I dislike capris. I dislike when they cut across the widest part of your leg. That automatically makes your leg look short and wide. If you want to wear capris or their kinder, gentler cousins, crops, make sure they cut across the slimmer part of your ankle.

This post sparked all sorts of debate last time around, but I stand by my opinion. Let's try this again!

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It's no secret that I really, really dislike capri-pants. I totally own a pair of pants that can be rolled and tied into capris, but does that really count? Doubt it. Here are some of the reasons I think capris are the modern mom's worst enemy.

1) They make you look stumpy because they cut your leg off at the chubby-calf area.

2) They are always made of some wishy washy fabric like linen or polyester. And in light, unflattering colors like white. And they have those awful slits in the side. Ugh.

3) They are never worn properly. Ill-fitting t-shirts and thick-soled flip flops abound.

4) They scream frumpalicious. And, bonus reason they make your butt look like a flat pancake. Which would be okay if pancake butts are in. Alas, they are not.

5) I once worked with a girl who wore capris and flip flops EVERY DAY to the office, no matter the weather. They made her look three feet tall and develop severe cankles. She ALWAYS pairs them with a horizontally striped shirt and subsequently ruined my day every time I saw her... which was every day. Also, she sometimes was nice to me, and sometimes was evil, so it created sad feelings which were related to the capris.

Is that enough reason for you?

I understand why moms enjoy the capri pant (which by the way, is any pant that ends anywhere between below the knee to mid-shin. Anything longer is considered a crop, which I quite enjoy in the right context.)


These are awful. And an abomination in my sight. Be gone, stumpifying pant-wear!

I see. They are cool in the summer, when you don't want to wear heavy jeans. They are easy to wear, and you can pair them with fug sandals. But I contest that capris should not be your only choice when it comes to summer wear, even if you are trying to hide your post-partum ham-thighs. (I've been there, friend.) Dresses, skirts and shorts are all totally adorable and put together, without looking so very PTA.

Ch-check it out.

Items in this set:
Miso Ditsy Cute Dress, 25 GBP
Forever21.com - Damsel Sweater Cardigan, $20
Hoodies & Jackets « Off The Wall Clothing
Frye Carson Pull On, $350
Fashion Handbags, Wallets, Totes - Teens - Vanity, $27

Okay, so the boots are pricey, but can I tell you how much I LOVE summer dresses with a harder edge? This type of outfit will be much cooler than capris in the hot weather, not to mention you'll look smokin' hot AND right at home at a Tim McGraw concert. Try doing boots or flats with a light cotton-y dress that you've belted for definition. Can't you see this shopping at the local craft fair? LOVE. PS, how awesome are craft fairs in general? I love summer and the wacky stuff people try and sell, I really do. Anyhow. I know that the first time you wear a dress on a Wednesday you're going to be feel weird and dressed up. This is normal. Keep trying.

Items in this set:
Red ruched sleeve top, 19 GBP
dandelion bowtie skirt, $47
Roxy 'Only a Girl' Handbag (Girls), $32
Mod Retro Indie Clothing & Vintage Clothes, $28
Vintage style pearl ring, £8, Asos | Asos April Drop | InStyle UK

I LOVE skirts in the summer. This one is tres adorable with its nautical print, right? Anyway, see how summery and adorable it looks? And it gives you a chance to show off the long line of your leg, not the chopped off thick part that a pair of capris accentuates. The best part about skirts is you can wear them with a tee during the day, and pop on better accessories for a date night or bbq-type get together. Also, this outfit makes me want to go for a vintage bike ride in the city. I don't have a vintage bike. Also, I live closer to cows than city. But still.

Items in this set:
Sunny cotton V-neck cardigan, $160
American Eagle AE Women's Plaid Camp Shirt Blue Plaid, $35
Khaki linen long shorts, 18 GBP
Flats|Shoes:Women's Casual Flats, Sexy Flats, Black Flats,White Flats,..., $14
Candice Stud Tote, $27

Don't worry, uber-casual girls! I didn't forget about you. Shorts are totally fine for the summer. I love me a good pair of cargo or walking shorts. Just make sure they stop BEFORE the knee-cap, or you'll land back in stumps0ville. Shorts can make you look unbalanced when they are cut too slim, so look for a cuff or detail around the bottom to help balance the look out. I like to pair my shorts with something more substantial up top to avoid looking like a camp counselor (I wore an outfit like this one grocery shopping the other day. I might have been pushing the summer thing just a little). Wear with flats, flip flops or wedges and you are totally set.

So, have I talked anyone out of capris yet? Please say I have. I promise I will leave my pants unrolled if you promise to try a summer skirt? Deal? K.

Eat Well To Shed Pounds and Fat!

Since you all know by now how important it is to eat well to get the body you know you want, I thought I would give you some great tasting recipes that have tons of flavour but not tons of calories.

There is nothing better than having a great tasting meal that is quick and easy on a hot summers day.

During the summer months we BBQ a lot. My favourite side to anything we BBQ, whether it is fish, burgers or steak is grilled veggies. This is so easy and tastes so great.

Grilled Veggies

Carrots

Zucchini

Grape tomatoes

Peppers

Mushrooms

Onions, or any other of your favourite vegetable

Light Feta

There are a couple of different ways you can do this, I prefer to grill them in a foil pan.

You can use a little olive oil or spray the pan with a cooking spray.

Add your carrots first as they will take the longest to cook. After a few minutes add everything else leaving your tomatos for last. Once everything is a bit soft (you don't want them to be mushy, you want them to still have a little crunch). You can add a shake of Mrs. Dash or my husbands favourite a montreal steak spice, give a stir and remove.

Quickly crumble some light feta over and serve immediately.

For those of you who love sausage, here is a great alternative to the typically very high fat high calorie sausage treat:

St. Louis-Style Kraut and Turkey Sausages

1 tsp canola oil

1 small (1 cup) red bell pepper, chopped

1 small (1 cup) green bell pepper, chopped

1 small (1 cup) red onion, chopped

2 tsp caraway seeds

2 tbsp of sugar

1 jar (4 cups) sauerkraut

16 ounces extra lean smoked turkey sausage, cut into 1 inch pieces.

Saute the peppers and onion with the oil in a large pan for 3 min over med heat. Add sugar, caraway and kraut. Cover and cook for 5 min. Add the sausage and continue to simmer, over low heat for an additional 45 min. Serve hot with rolls

For those of you like me and chicken is a staple in your house, here is a great tasting chicken everyone will love:

Yummy Mandarin Chicken

3 med. Garlic cloves, minced

½ cup canned mandarin oranges with juice (unsweetened)

3 Tbsp frozen orange juice concentrate, thawed

2 tbsp low-sodium soy sauce

1 Tbsp orange honey (or any honey)

2 tsp chili-garlic (found in international section of most major grocery stores)

½ Tbsp roasted sesame oil

4 skinless, boneless chicken breasts

In a medium container with a lid, whisk together all ingredients except the chicken. Add chicken, submerging it in marinade. Cover and marinate in refrigerator at least six hours or overnight.

Cook: Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Place in a sprayed cooking dish or a dish lined with foil. Spoon marinade over breast and cook for about 25 minutes or until not pink in the centre.

Summer is a great opportunity to try new things and expand your taste buds.

Committed to your fitness success,

Kelly Parker

www.fitmommakeover.net

Freaky Friday: Swimwear

Finishing up our swimwear week here! It was a super good refresher for me since we're going to Lake Powell (a massive lake that spans over the Utah/Arizona border) next week and I needed to have a reality check before I frolicked pantsless for a few days. I can do this!

I did a lot of online swimsuit shopping before I went and tried anything on, which helped me get my bearings on what I wanted. But that also meant I came across delicious, delicious swimwear that no one should ever put on their bodies EVER. Oh I love my online shopping habit.

Observe:


Even the Little Mermaid would be like "OMG that is SO cliche." And she was a mythological fish who got married at 16. If she has more sense than you, you're in trouble.


Nude swimsuits are NEVER a good idea. Seriously. Especially when they are as crotchtastic and ill-fitting as this one. One time, my best friend and I were camping and we decided to head down to the beach. There was a grouping of people playing volleyball and one older man was in a nude-colored Speedo. That was 10 years ago. It still haunts me.


FINALLY! Swimwear for hipsters! This way, everyone can know how intellectual you are even when you have to dress like anyone else.

PS... suspenders on a swimsuit. It just seems wrong, doesn't it?

Also, has anyone seen this post over at Verbal Vomit? Read both chapters. I woke up this morning to a message from my brother who is living in Botswana and it was to proclaim his love for the girl who illustrates and writes Verbal Vomit. (Verbal Vomit girl... he's siiiiingle!) But it was totally worth being jolted out of sleep for. And to his credit, it was probably like 5pm in Bots.


Oh poor Kesha. Not only does she look unwashed 99 percent of the time, she also chose the most UNFLATTERING swimsuit of all time. I desperately want to push her boobs upward and it's not because I like touching Kesha's breasts. I don't think I do anyway.


In general, I like to keep gingivitis away from by lady business. But that's just me.


I saw that cats were a big trend this summer. If there's anything we learned from the eHarmony cat girl, it's that cat owners are really balanced and normal people.



It took me like, 10 minutes to figure out where this swimsuit actually went. I'm thinking on a lamp? But I could be wrong.

PS I like the bum fringe. It's special.



Quite possibly the most matronly swimsuit I've ever seen. And the matchy hat makes me want to curl into a ball and cry. You know this woman sits on the beach to read parenting books and Twilight because she's one of *those* middle-aged women.


Tan lines! Tan lines! Oh the tan lines!

Now you know what NOT to buy, go forth! Go forth and purchase swimwear that is actually wearable! Then go to the pool and read non-parenting books and snap undercover pictures of bad swimwear and send them to me. Just make sure it isn't actually me you're taking pictures of because I'll be sooooper offended.

Fright-Free Swimwear

So since I went all Oprah on you yesterday, I thought I'd better put my money where my mouth is and give some ideas for cute swimwear. One thing that bugs me about swimsuit shopping is that we're always taught to look for things that minimize problem areas. How negative is that? Instead, look for suits that emphasize your best areas. Have hot legs? Find a suit with high-cut sides (but not 80s high cut because that was vulgar.) Have a great rack? Helllllo halter top. Perky butt? A bikini brief is your friend. I put together a few different styles of suits that I totally loved so you're not flying blind at the blindingly fluorescently lighted superstore.

One-Piece Wonders:

Talbot, $44
Bikini swimwear, $45
Talbots one piece swimwear, $43
Talbot, $43
One piece bathing suit, $20

If your'e more of a one-piece girl, I would like to point out that the choices are so much better than the Speedos of old. One pieces are great for showing off cute legs and an awesome chest. Look for lots of interest around the bust. If you're feeling saucy, a monokini with side cutouts is super modern. I especially love suits with frills up top. Um adorable, let's go tan immediately. Also, remember that patterns are our friends, but as always, choose one in proportion to your size. That zebra is PERFECT.

Mix and Match:

Purple top, $20
Sporty Shirred Swim Skirt | Athleta
Halter bikini, $9.99
J Crew bikini beach swimwear, $35
Roxy bathing suit, $40
Old navy swimwear, $18
H m swimwear, £7.99
String bikinis swimwear, $30


I am forever grateful for whoever invented the method of selling tops and bottoms separately. I am so crazy disproportionate that I can never fit into a regular suit. Small up top and generous in the trunk means that I always buy two-pieces. I'm really into non-matchy swimwear right now. Nothing says you have to be all solid, all the time. My fave swimwear I own are teal bottoms that I wear with a black top. It's so much sportier and fun.


Covering Up

Billabong embroidered dress, $26
Raisins bathing suit, $30
Maxi skirt, £15
Daytrip, $19
GUESS swimwear, $50

So if you're not 100 percent on board with me and my self lovey doveyness, I understand. But there are MUCH better ways to feel covered at the pool than your husband's shorts. They are gross and make me judge you. That's unfair to me. Cute dresses and maxi skirts are SO CUTE when lounging poolside. I also find them super easy because you can toss them in your bag and change fast, allowing you to stand in line at the snow cone shack feeling confident. (Not that I go to the snow cone shack after swimming. I'm just sayin'.) Also, love the idea of a maxi skirt as a cover up. Must do immediately!

And tomorrow, you'll never guess what I'll feature for Freaky Friday!? You guessed it! Bad swimsuits!! Cannot wait.

Freaky Friday: Welcoming Baby

I must have pregnancy on the brain today. Probably because I habitually get pregnant at the end of May. Last month I realized that my youngest is the age my oldest was when I got knocked up again and I swear I broke into a cold sweat. I don't know HOW I thought I was ready then. My youngest is a tiny terrorist and he leaves everything in his path bruised, bloodied and destroyed. I can't have anymore kids just because I shudder to think what he'd do to them.

That's my story today anyway. Anytime someone asks me when I'm having another I like to give another from my list of "1,001 Reasons Why Jae Should Stop Procreating Immediately."

Reason #342: I have a deathly fear of ultrasound machines.

Reason #667: I don't like children.

Reason #29: The Bachelorette is on.

Anyway, I did come across some AWESOME maternity photos while reflecting on my own pregnancies. I warn you: there is a lot of body exposure and even more awkwardness. I will tell you now that I didn't post the worst one because this is a family site. But I might post the link in the comments because it is TOO GOOD.



Is it me or is Halloween and pregnancy the only time women can wear nothing and no one can say anything about it? I understand that the pregnant form is beautiful and you want to preserve the memory, but I really don't see the purpose in the bunny tail. Also, were these pictures done at Sears?


Speaking of bunnies... didn't "being sexy" get you into this mess? Somewhere, Hugh Hefner is turning over in his grave.

What's that? He's not dead yet? Well, then he's turning over in his mid-afternoon nap.

PS the proximity of that man to her crotch befuddles me.


Oh pregnancy! So many cravings! I spent my last pregnancy craving sushi. For some women, it's pickles and ice cream. And the always classic watermelons and handguns. Pregnancy is so SILLY!



Why hello! You just caught us semi-naked walking through the forest! Wanna paint my belly and take pictures?


Just one word: HOW. HOW was this woman hoisted into this tree? Mind = boggled.


Contrary to popular belief, their favorite broadway show is "Phantom of the Opera."

PS, I was reflecting on how women talk their husbands into stuff like this. If I were like "Hey honey, want to go have our entire bodies painted like characters from "Cats" and take pictures?" He would laugh and then nervously walk away to build something.

I wish we lived in a culture where it was OK to get naked and wear a Russian hat and eat pregnant women's bellies. One day.... one day.


Let's play "Spot the Obvious Thing that is Wrong With this Picture!!!" You have 10 seconds. GO!


I hate these types of pictures. Nothing like commemorating your pregnancy and the fact that your husband has completely let himself go in one shot. Oh, memories.


I've seen bow shots that are cute. But bow shots that make the belly look like a Faberge egg? Super creepy.

Hey, it's totally fine to take pictures of your uber cute belly in those last few months of pregnancy. Plus they can act as proof when you go to guilt your kids, as in "REMEMBER WHEN I LIKE, TOTALLY GESTATED YOU? Clean your room!"

But don't overshare.

FINE I'll post the worst one in the comments. But you've been warned. It might ruin your Friday, and Fridays are sacred and precious to me.

Summer Neon Love

Is it any wonder that I'm totally obsessed with wearing neon right now? It's finally warmed up and I get to dress more casually. Add that to the fact that EVERY store is carrying these awesome neons and you have a recipe for a classic Jae obsession.

Here's the problem though. Neons can look reallllly teeny bopper if you aren't careful. Seriously, I have a full on seizure every time I go into Wet Seal or something and it's wall to wall neon colors. It's basically a rave in there. So to avoid looking like you do ecstasy or are 12 or heaven forbid, BOTH, you really need to temper your neon for more grown uppedness. Here's some ideas.

Short sleeve cardigan, $45
Racer back tank top, $20
TOMS canvas flat shoes, $44
TopShop crossbody handbag, $45
Dorothy Perkins beading jewelry, 8.50 GBP
Zara belt, $16

Wearing neon with a neutral reallllly helps to tone down the brightness and the youth of the colors. I especially love neon with gray because it's not as stark and 80s aerobic clothing-like as wearing neon with black. When paired with uber-casual clothes, a neon shirt doesn't look so crazypersonshocking. ALSO! I know that some people hate TOMS. But please, how adorable are they with denim bermudas? I love.

Old Navy lightweight pants, $15
H&M flip flop shoes, 2.99 GBP
Rue21 bow handbag, $17
Rachel leigh jewelry, $50
Dorothy Perkins beading jewelry, 9.50 GBP
Rebel Yell Surf Athletic Raw Football Tee in Neon Pink, $73

My personal preference when wearing neons is to team them up with super crisp whites. I bought a psychotically bright orange shirt while on my Memorial Day shopping spree and I wore it with my white cargos that I never can match to anything. It was bright, crisp and a little boho without being completely overbearing. One of the other awesome things about doing neons, especially for casual wear, is that all neons match each other, so it really doesn't matter what colors you wear together. I recommend going with more monochromatic colors if you want to be ever taken seriously. While the nine year old in me would LOVE to wear neon orange and neon green together, I usually stick with pink, coral and orange together so as not to terrify the general public.

Scoop neck tank, 10 GBP
Old Navy khaki skirt, $23
Zara platform sandals, $100
River Island shoulder handbag, 37 GBP
Peacock necklace, 7 GBP
TopShop wrap ring, $20
MAC Nail Lacquer, $14
MAC Nail Lacquer, $14
MAC Nail Lacquer, $14

Finally, you can make a statement without actually wearing neon yellow pants. Just use neons in your accessories. Are these shoes not AMAZING? They made me die a little. Adding a necklace, a ring, some bright nails, they all work well IF the actual outfit is otherwise demure. Perfect for khaki and white. Scary on neon clothes.


The trick is always balance. If you want to wear neon in your clothes, choose one piece and keep the rest neutral. As accessories, everything is fair game so long as the outfit is subdued.

Now to figure out how to explain to my husband my insatiable need for neon shoes.

Bi's and Tri's

When I ask people what they would like to improve, I have often heard "I would like to have Michelle Obama arms".

We have a fun little expression we say when working out our arms in boot camp....

"Bi's and Tri's get the guys"

We dig deep and keep going even when it hurts. Now whether we are really trying to "get the guys" or if you are lucky enough to already have someone special, having awesome looking arms, not only makes you feel great, but you will look great in a sexy T or tank.

4 Signs that you need to change up your arm program:

1) You notice that your back and chest workouts are falling short because your arms are giving out first

2) You are not seeing the changes that you would like to see

3) Your arms may be getting thicker but you would like to see more definition and shape.

4) You find yourself just going through the motions

If any of these sound familiar to you, it may be time for a change. To avoid falling short in your back and chest workouts, you will probably need to work on endurance and strength. If you are not seeing the changes you would like to, then change up your routine. Change the exercises, how many reps you do, the speed in which you perform them and the weights that you use.
If you are looking for more shape from your arms, you may need to take a look at your eating habits and tighten up.

Don't just go through the motions. Train smarter. Do just walk randomly from one exercise to the next. Make a plan. Know exactly what exercises you want to to, the reps you will perform and the weight you will be using. Don't be afraid to lift heavier weights. You will often find you will see the results you are looking for.

Try some of my favourite exercises and get your own Michelle Obama arms:

TRX Tricep extension.
Be sure to keep your belly button pulled in and as you lean forward your elbows stay close together verses coming out. When you are at the position when your elbows are bent push away to return to the start position.



Tricep Dips on a bench
Be sure to keep your back close to the bench and don't use your legs to help you up. Try and keep it all in the tris.



Single arm cable curls
For this exercise you need to keep your elbows up. Don't let them fall below paraelle to the floor. Watch your weight. Start off light and make sure you do it correctly and then increase the weight. If you don't have access to a gym with a cable system, this can easily be done with tubing and a door attachment. Just do one arm at a time.

Tricep Extension:
Keep your belly button pulled in, knees soft and drop the weight back behind your head. The most important thing with this exercise is to keep your elbows close to your ears. Don't let them swing out.


Dumbbell Curls
Keep your knees soft, belly button in and as you lift the weight, exhale. Be sure to lift all the way up and then lower all the way back down.


Of course with any great exercise program, you need a great eating plan. So drink more water (especially with the warmer weather), cut out that sugar (refined) not those found in fruit and veggies and load up on your veggies and you will be on your way (sooner than you think) to getting your very own pair of Michelle Obama arms:)

Committed to your fitness success,
Kelly Parker
www.fitmommakeover.net