Freaky Friday

Yay Friday! I got my four year old daughter a new Melissa and Doug Chore Chart and I SWEAR it has magical powers. Something about putting those little buttons on the squares inspires her to be a baby angel. I have strategically placed all of the placards that have to do with cleaning on the chart, so my house is spotless now. But, I did promise that if she got all of her buttons for an entire week, I would take her to the dinosaur museum. I didn't realize how vigilantly she would clean my house, so I'd better come through. So, this had better be fast.


This is like, the fashion equivalent of getting toilet paper stuck in your shoe.


Not only is this shirt awful, but I have to question the style judgment of whoever put this outfit together. Like yes, we have a weird fringe shirt..... denim cutoffs! Who's mind goes to that place?


Do models ever just want to kill themselves? I wonder if this girl came to work knowing she would be subjected to camel toe, a sheer shirt AND a jedi-like robe all at once. THE HUMANITY!


I actually missed the Victoria's Secret fashion show this year... but is it suddenly OK to associate your body with something commonly known as a "pigskin?"


Ohhh yeah. Droopy bum jumpsuits forever! Also, the front of this has a contrast drawstring that makes this outfit look curiously like scrubs. I've been around the hospital too much.


Would you believe it if I told you that this shirt was SOLD OUT on the Home Shopping Network?

Of course you would.

Actually, I have a sick, sick fascination with shopping channels. I love to watch and see what they're hocking and trying to make cool. "Turkeys are just hot this year!"


When I saw these boots, I thought of an old timey western, where a cowboy pointed his gun at the other and said "NOW DANCE!" Apparently, this cowboy was not that great of a dancer.


ALRIGHT! This Snuggie thing has gone FAR ENOUGH. They are taking over the Universe!

(Thanks Charity!)

Well, I'm off to be an exemplary mom. The kind of exemplary mom who makes her small daughter load the dishwasher.

Having kids is awesome.

An Attitude of Gratitude

So, even though I'm Canadian and Thanksgiving was last month, we didn't get to celebrate it because it was crazy busy in these parts and so I resolved to celebrate extra hard for American Thanksgiving. Also, a couple nights ago I badgered my mom into having a pseudo Christmas dinner when I'm back home in a couple of weeks, so the turkey ratio totally checks out! YES!

Anyway, I thought I'd talk about some of the things that I'm thankful for. I am aware that Thanksgiving is next week, but next week we'll talk outfits and then I'll be all preoccupied for Black Friday, so today is better.

Just so you know, I AM grateful for friends, family, my house, blah blah blah. But I am also thankful for shiny and pretty things, which is what this post is dedicated to. Ah, shopping!

Without further ado:

Jae's List of Pretty Things She's Thankful For

I'm thankful for: Leather jackets. I think, by now, we understand that they are my weakness, yes? This one from Debenham's is well-cut and the brown is gorgeous. Really. I must have. Add it to the collection.


Pretty bags that are large enough to get my wallet, lip balms, wipes case, spare diaper, two pairs of sunglasses plus one pair of regular glasses, roughly 1,233 receipts and various gift cards, a book and my Nintendo DS without having to say "Petunia Picklebottom" on it. How about Vitalio Vera instead?

Pretty, ruffled scarves that match anything and pretty up even my furry cargo parka. Plus, with a little v-neck sweater? Die of cuteness overload. (Lori's Shoes)


Uber prim-looking headbands work with messy second-day hair. So easy! (Tilly's)


Peacock anything. I have this exact necklace from Forever 21, and I love to wear it with a white tunic, skinny jeans and my Fryes. Accesories? DONE. K, now I actually want to wear it today.


PENCIL SKIRTS! I have been coveting this one from Arden B for a month now. I just sent it to my husband for my Christmas list. But in general, there is nothing I like more than a vintage, ladylike silhouette. Hips do not lie. At least that's what Shakira told me, and she's pretty dependable in general.


Trench coats match anything. It's a fact. And this one is only $23 from Tilly's and I love army green. I think it comes in black and cream too. Either way, it's the perfect topper for anything; dress, skirt, jeans, you name it. Look for one that grazes the hips.


Bows and pearls. I've purchased three sets of bow earrings and pearl earrings and I love how sophisticated they look, even when I'm just wearing them with a tank top and cardigan. Adorable! (Betsey Johnson, who I don't usually like... but I like these!)


Tights. I so very much love winter and how awesome tights are with winter. These ones with the bows? Squee! (ModCloth... I also featured them last week.)

Soft, slouchy boots and the banishment of heels until springtime. I love boots because they look dressy even when you're shlubbing it in jeans and a sweater. It's so easy to look put together with expensive-looking boots (BTW, these ones are under $50 from Wild Diva)

I am loving the transition to winter! I'll confess, I listened to Christmas music one evening while it was snowing, but I have since reined myself in. Now I plan to start Christmas prep on Saturday. Sorry, Thanksgiving, but you're too late in the year and I'm having pretend Christmas the first week of December.

Anybody else want to chime in on something you're thankful for?

10 Minute Workout

OK, you have all heard of the 20 minute Workout that was a big hit in the 80's right? Maybe not. If you are not in your mid to late 30's you may have no idea what I'm talking about. Well I was pretty young when it came out, but I do remember the craze that it brought.

Full piece body suits with leg warmers. It still makes me laugh. But the concept was brilliant. Do your exercise in 20 minutes. Now I don't want to ever see anyone doing a leg lift on your side or swinging your arms across your body, but what I am going to do is give you a workout that burns calories, is more effective and can be done in only 10-20 minutes!!

First, you want to do a quick warm up, depending on where you are, you can go up and down your stairs, or walk around the park or down your street. This is a really simple, yet totally effective workout, that you can actually keep repeating until you've had enough. Do it for at least 10 minutes if you can.

Once you have warmed up, you are going to complete 3 sets of exercises with a run in between each one. It looks like this:

Block 1:
10 push ups-on your knees or toes
10 squats
10 jumping jacks
Run as fast as you can for about 80 feet (about the length of a public swimming pool) and then back.

When you get back go right into your next block which is:

Block 2:
10 Mountain Climbers-go down into a push up position as if you were doing them on your toes. Bring in one knee at a time to your chest. Now hop them in and out as if you were running.
10 Star Jacks-Again, stay on your hands and toes. Take your feet and at the same time hop them both out so your legs are apart, now hop them back together again. Speed that up and do 10 of them.
10 Crunches
Run as fast as you can

Block 3:
10 twists- Go on your hands and toes keeping your bum down. Rotate and lift one arm up towards the ceiling looking up at your hand as you do that. Switch sides. Keep rotating until you have completed 10. You can also do this on your knees if you need to.
10 lunges-alternate them
10 bicycles-lie on your back and extend your legs out one at a time. Now take your hands and put them to your ears and twist to touch your elbow to the opposite knee always rotating with the legs.
Run as fast as you can.

Repeat this 2-4 times.

You will not only get a get total body workout, you will get in your cardio and burn tons of calories.

Committed to your fitness success,

Kelly Parker
www.bestfitbodybootcamp.com

Mascaraaaaaa!

K, when I wrote the title of the post, I was saying it in my head like Oprah. As in, "Everyone is getting my favorite mascaraaaaaaaa on the Oprah's Favorite Things Show!" but I don't think it translates as well on Blogger. Boo.

Also, I need to point out that while this is a product post, I have not been compensated for any of my opinions here in. Fight the man! I won't do my girls like that!

Anyway, so I have a story. I will admit that I am happy to spend money on certain pieces of makeup when I know that they work well. I am completely brand loyal to Bare Minerals for foundation and brand loyal to Christian Dior for mascara. Period. While it's a little pricier than your drugstore stuff, I'm happy with it and I love it and I'll never change.

Except.... in September I went home to Canada right? So I get everything packed. Remember, I do this a lot so I feel like I've really streamlined my packing process. Usually, the night before, I lay out the clothes I'll wear in the morning, because I prefer very early flights. Then I pack all of my makeup, leaving out only the bare essentials. In the morning, I shower, do my hair and makeup and then throw it all in my suitcase in a giant Ziploc. Well, this last trip my parents came to pick me and my little family up from the airport, and driving home, a mere eight hours from when I left my house, I realized I'd forgotten EVERYTHING. Like, all of my makeup, hair stuff, the works.

You guys, it was so sad.

I gasped like we'd run over a puppy and scared the life out of my dad. Normally, forgetting all of my beautifying toiletries wouldn't be so horrible. But the reason for my going home was that one of my brothers was moving to England for two years, and the other was moving to Botswana for a year, and there was going to be parties. Lots and lots of parties. I was going to see people that I hadn't seen in years, and there was no way in Hades that I was going to go au natural. It was neither the time, nor the place.

So, the first day I was there, I had to go to the drugstore and buy ALL new makeup. And it put me in a very bad mood. I was so very ticked off that I had very good, designer makeup at home, and there I was with a tube of Great Lash, you know. Anyway, I lamented the whole time, and when I got home I gave my makeup bag a little kiss and promised it would never happen again. My "new" makeup was relegated to my vanity drawer.

But now I find myself digging it out every now and again. Sure, my drugstore mascara doesn't give me the long, Minnie Mouse eyelashes that I long for and achieve with my CD, but it's awesome for everyday. So I decided to do a great mascara face off of 2010.

The contenders??


In this corner, we have E.L.F's Duo Mascara for a mere $1!



Over here? L'oreal's Voluminous Million Lashes weighing in at $8!


The contender, Diorshow in Blackout - Jae's fave for $24!


Does she even need an introduction? Maybelline's Great Lash for around five bucks!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Ooooooooooooh! *Chair slam!* OK, I watched a little too much WWF with my brothers when we were kids. They had the wrestling ring and everything, and when we went on road trips they would convince my parents to bring it. It was like two feet across, I swear. I just liked flinging wrstlers around with the elastic ropes.

But I digress. Like, worst digression EVER.

Anyway, here I go, weighing in on mascaraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

E.L.F. Duo Mascara:
This is the type that I bought to replace my mascara in Canada. Honestly, I picked the cheapest I could find (hello, its $1!) because I had a $24 mascara at home and I was annoyed. While I wasn't blown away by this little baby, I didn't hate it either. It went on smooth, and the smaller brush was a nice break from the fat brush that comes with Diorshow. It got the little tiny lashes that I usually ignore completely. It made for a nice stand in and I still use it for everyday running around or to keep in my purse.

L'oreal's Voluminous Million Lashes:
K, first of all, this mascara WILL NOT win for catchiest name. I can never remember what it's called. Millions of Lashes? Lash Millionaire? Oh screw it, it's the one in the gold tube. I bought this because I'd heard such amazing things about this mascara and I wanted to see for myself. My husband gets very annoyed when I do such things. Anyway, I really like it. It's a really good drugstore alternative to department store brands, and it fattens up lashes while separating, making it a good jack of all trades. I highly recommend.

Diorshow Blackout:
Alright, it's no secret that I love and admire this mascara. Again, I'm fairly obsessed with mascara, and when I don't wear makeup, I always swipe a little on. When I finally got up the nerve to go sit down in the Dior makeup chair and have the makeup girl fuss over me, I fell in love. Not with the girl, because I'm not Katy Perry like that, but with the mascara. It gives me massive lashes. My lashes are fairly long, so I always value volume over lengthening. This stuff is amazing. Two coats makes me look like I'm wearing falsies, no joke. Also, it smells good. Random, right? If you've got an extra $25 laying around, I highly recommend. Plus, one tube lasts around three months. Good investment.

Great Lash:
K, so I keep a tube of Great Lash around just out of pure principle. It is a really good, basic mascara. If you're new to the whole makeup thing, Great Lash is a really good place to start. The first thing I do when I open up my Great Lash is bend the brush to a 90 degree angle. That way, when I apply, I'm going in an upward stroke and I find I get better length and definition. This is another one I reach for when I don't want to go all out with my Dior. My only gripe is that it can get a little clumpy, so a lash comb is a must if you're planning on more than one coat.

So, I don't think there's one clear winner, because the reason you use mascara may be totally different from what I look for in a tube (instant showgirl quality lashes, yes please) The trick is to go somewhere you can test a few different formulas out. Even if you purchase from a drugstore, most places like Walgreens and CVS will allow you to return it, even if it's the wrong color. You may only get store credit, but it's just license to try another brand. And when you find your perfect fit, don't ever let it go. Don't make the same mistake I did and leave your precious mascara lying dormant on your vanity for an entire week.

I swear I heard it whimper when I got home.

Or was that me?

Freaky Friday: Fun With Keywords!

It's that time again! Yes, it's that time when I go through my keyword analysis and look up all the weird ways the general public finds my blog. I love checking that thing.

-"Subtly encourage your husband to exercise more."

I feel like I'm not the right person to answer this, Kelly should. But all the same, I recommend this approach. "So... hun? Remember when you weren't fat? Yeah, that was nice." Too harsh? I don't know. My husband is 160 soaking wet. This is new for me.

-"What to wear for maternity photos."

How about something like this?

...and by "this" I mean a Goodyear tire. (AwkwardFamilyPhotos, of course)

-(Typed exactly as I got it) "HOW TO WEAR" "TROUSER JEANS"

Probably with a "SHIRT" and "CARDIGAN" with "CUTE HEELS."

-"Mommy has knockers"

Yeah, that's because mommy is supporting life with her knockers. I know it's hard to process, but those fun bags are not just for playtime.

-"Can I wear capris to a summer wedding?"

I hate you.

"Payless Frye knockoffs."

So this is ACTUALLY a good keyword search. My sister in law just picked up a pair of these boots and I couldn't believe how close they looked to the real thing. Check it out:

These are the authentic Frye 12R's, otherwise known as my third child.

Here's the Payless version:

Not bad right? I mean, of course they won't wear the same as the Frye's, but unless you're actually working on a farm, it's probably OK. And then there's the matter of saving $200.

OK! Friday time! I'm off to do some damage at the Nordstom half yearly sale. DOUBLE POINTS for my card woo hoo. Only 6,000 more points and I get a bottle of nail polish or a Kleenex or something. Anyone else have shopping related plans this weekend? I'm on the hunt for cute tights!

Burn Fat Fast

OK, it's the day after Halloween. How did you do? Did you stay away from the candy? No. Well I'm going to give you a couple of the best fat burning workouts to burn it all off.

Before we get into the exercises, the first thing you need to do is to commit yourself to no more chocolate. (or chips, or starbursts, or fuzzy peaches etc.) They will NOT help you burn calories, and they will certainly not help you lose weight. So start right now by telling yourself you are simply not going to have any, or if it helps get them out of sight, so at least you are not tempted every time you go into the kitchen.

Alright, now for the exercises. The following are in my opinion some of the very best for burning fat. I am going to give you the best cardio workout ever to burn fat (in my opinion), but you can't skip your weights. You will burn more calories over the long run by sticking to your weight program, so make sure you get it in.

Don't worry though, these workouts are super short and super effective, so you can do it in 20 mins. How's that for time crunching!

First let's start with your weight program. I would highly suggest you doing this 3 times a week. Let's say Mon/Wed/Fri. All you need is 20 min. I know you can find 20 min.

Start with a warm up. If you are inside, you can walk up and down your stairs for a few minutes. If you are outside, just walk and get the blood flowing.

Next, find a spot with some room. You will need a pair of dumbbells, or tubing that you can do bicep curls with. These are both inexpensive. If you don't have either, you can use laundry soap (the one that's in a plastic container with a handle).

1. Push ups. You can do these on your toes, or if you are just starting out on your knees. Make sure you keep your bum down. Do 10 reps.

2. Get up and do Jumping jacks- 7 times

3. Quick Squats- 10 reps

4. Jumping Jacks-7 times

5. Bicep Curls-10 reps

6. Jumping Jacks-7 times

The trick with these exercises is not to rest in between. When you are done the last set of jacks, get a drink and do it again. When you start your third time you will do the following.

1. Push ups- 10 reps

2. Knees up. This is where you will stand tall and bring one knee up towards your chest at a time, now pretend you are running it. Do this for 8 reps, each knee up is 1 rep. Oh and you do this as fast as you can.

3. Squat with a bicep curl. As you squat, keep the weight down beside your legs, as you stand up lift the weights up towards your chest as you curl. Do this 10 times.

4. Knees Up- 8 reps

5. Tricep Dips. This can be done on a stair, coffee table or curb. Face away from it, keeping your back close to the solid object you are using. Your hands are pointing towards your back but are pretty close together. Bend your elbows to lower your body slightly and then push back up again. do 10 reps.

6. Knees Up- do 8 reps

7. Crunches- 20 reps

8. Bicycles (abs)-20 reps

Stretch for a few minutes. You just had a really great workout! And burned a ton of calories.

For the cardio part of your workout this week, you can run, walk, bike, go on a treadmill, elliptical or whatever you like to do. Again, this takes only 20 mins. from start to finish. I know I posted this before, but it's my favourite, I didn't come up with it but I love it and I know it works.

This is something you can do 3 times a week as well, lets say Tues/Thurs/Sat. You can do this because you are only working out for 20 minutes each time.

Min. Intensity
1....... 5-warm up
2.......5
3.......6
4.......7
5.......8
6.......9
7 .......6
8 .......7
9....... 8
10..... 9
11...... 6
12...... 7
13...... 8
14...... 9
15...... 6
16...... 7
17...... 8
18...... 9
19..... 10-maximum
20..... 5-cool down

This is something that might take a little practice. Sometimes it's easier to start backwards. Down at minute 19, you see you are doing your max. So you would be sprinting if you were running. 9 is going to still be pretty fast. So you can see how you would increase your speed, verses your incline if you are on treadmill. Give it a try it's the best!

These 2 workouts are super fast, yet they will burn off any extra calories consumed over the weekend. Remember to commit from this point on, that you will eat clean, and no more sugar, add these workouts to your schedule and you will be great.

Committed to your fitness success,
Kelly Parker
www.fitmommakeover.net

In General...

I feel like when I look at this picture and all I can think of is "I wonder where Anderson Cooper got his sweater," that maybe Lady Gaga is losing her touch.

Yes, I am baiting her.

Tell me though, aside from the ridiculous lobster claw heels, does she not look downright demure?

(PS, this years creepiest sexy costumes on Friday. Commence dying of excitement..... NOW!)