I Wear My Sunglasses at Night...

Hey friends... This is a re-post. I was sunglasses shopping and realized that this would be a good reminder. Seriously, the Utah sun is so bright that I actually get angry at it sometimes. Like SUN! DO you not know that I need to see to drive? Stop being so OBNOXIOUS.

PS, I still go through sunglasses like the cast of Jersey Shore goes through Valtrex (ooh, ouch.) I'm on my second pair this summer. Every time I think I want to buy another pricey pair -- they are always on Groupon!! -- I'm like Jae, you know how you are. You will sit on them at one point in time. So I'm currently rocking a $11 pair of Relics. Oh yeah, be jealous.

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I probably should have written about sunglasses like, two months ago at the beginning of summer, but two months ago had just started that which would be the most accident prone two months in history during which I would singlehandedly destroy four pairs of sunglasses in a row. Like, it's getting comical.

First, I busted the arm off of my Guess sunglasses.
Then my sun snapped my Gucci (!!!!) ones in HALF.
Then, the screw came out of my Marc Jacobs and I've never gotten around to fixing it.
I bought a cheapo pair from Nordstrom and promptly sat on them in my car.
So I tried using my husband's and snapped the lens out.

You guys, I am on my SIXTH pair this summer. Which is why I'm never buying seriously expensive sunglasses again. If you're like me, spend $20 max.

As I was trying on my fifth pair of sunglasses before heading to the pool yesterday, I pondered over my face shape. I have a seriously heart-shaped face: honking huge cheekbones and a tiny, pointy chin. Because of this, I'm obsessed with aviator glasses. They draw the eye upward without giving too hard an edge. This, in turn, caused me to think about all the other face shapes and what that means for glasses shopping. Instead of trying on every pair of glasses in the store, it's easier to single out the pairs that'll work best and make quick work of the shades you'll use for the next two weeks until you sit on them in your car.

Wait, am I the only one who does that?

Heart-Shaped Faces (Think Jennifer Aniston):

For girls like me, aviators are your friend. They help to balance out the face by not being so wide, but still having enough volume. I also found out that when my eyebrows show under my glasses, I look like my dad. While my dad is a very suave dude, I don't want his eyebrows .So I look for a pair big enough to hit just above. These are pretty much perfect and will match any outfit ever. Plus, aviators are just classic.

Round Faces (Think Drew Barrymore):

If your cheekbones, chin and forehead are all generally the same width, you have a round face. THAT DOESN'T MEAN FAT, calm down. Since you have a round face, rounded sunglasses will just emphasize that roundness. Look for more rectangular frames, which will help balance out your forehead and the tops of your cheekbones for a more contoured look. Slimmer sunglasses also help to streamline the face, but I tend to avoid really overly sporty glasses since they look weird with anything but workout clothes.

Square Faces (Think Jessica Simpson):






A square face is the exact opposite of a round face. Instead of soft lines, you have a squarer jaw that basically lines up with your forehead. Because your face already has pretty rigid lines, oblong sunglasses are best for you. The roundness helps to soften those lines and there's so many freakin' cute options out there!

Oval Faces (Think Anne Hathaway):


Oval girls are lucky, since you can basically wear any style sunglasses ever. An oval face has slim cheekbones that line up with a moderate chin and forehead. The only problem is the oval faces can sometimes look longer. Because of this, purposely avoid thin sunglasses which accentuate your face length. Instead, medium to large sizes are best. Just don't go comically large, because I'll make fun of you and that's awkward for us both.

When in doubt, look for really classic shapes. Ray Ban Wayfarer looks good on pretty much any face shape.




So, is it clear as mud? You can always go to the store and try on every single pair, but last time I did that I got the stinkeye. So there you go. Deal with it, TJ Maxx employees!

What I Wore: Peplum Love

I finally got to hit the water and try out my wakeboard this weekend, but I am paying for it this morning! So... sore... On the bright side, I actually got up quickly and was spared the humiliation of bugging my husband for a new wakeboard and then not actually being able to use it because I'm too spastic. Bam!

Since I spent all Saturday in a swimsuit, it was nice to dress like a normal human being on Sunday. Sometimes dressing up just feels good.

Top: c/o/ mod bod
Skirt: Downeast
Shoes: Nine West
Necklace: Local craft fair (Plunder Jewelry)
Ring: F21
Bracelet: Gift from my mamadukes.

This skirt has a MAJOR peplum detail and it was giving me like, major anxiety yesterday. I asked my husband like, 600 times if it was too crazy. He's literally the most conservative person on the planet, so once he said he liked it, I felt better. I have a peplum cocktail dress, but it's like 5 percent of the extra fabric that this sucker has.

I will say right now, if you're hypersensitive about your hips, something like this might wig you out. It's like a lighted sign that says "LOOKIE HERE!" A smaller peplum will probably be more livable. In the end, I decided it was fun and was happy with the way it looked. Next I want to try it with a chambray shirt or something.



Slightly obsessed with the color of these shoes and this crazy necklace I picked up at a local festival over the weekend. Those giant pearls make me die.

Of course, after this I shucked off the skirt for shorts and spent the rest of the day watching The Bachelorette. LOVE that my fave won. Please tell me I wasn't the only one ignoring my family for three hours last night.

Freaky Friday: I Heart Readers

Augh, I'm just getting over a bout of the flu that decided to ruin my life yesterday, so I was glad when I realized I didn't have to search for bad clothes on my own... you guys had sent me some that needed their turn in the limelight. And that, my readers, is why I love you.



L. (name changed to protect the spotter) sent me this atrociousness. The strips of lace fabric are about as necessary as a calorie counter at McDonalds.


Michelle sent me this dress, which is sadly from one of my favorite dress shops. I'm willing to give them a pass based on the fact that I think someone was hungover when this was designed. Don't let it happen again!



Oh, my hatred for shirts with vapid sayings on them has been rekindled. Really? Blink if you like me? Hey mannequin; how about "breathe if you think I'm annoying?" (Thanks Lindsay!)


I got this fug shoe from C., who sent an email saying "Found these at Urban Outfitters. 'Nuff said."

Really, you mean to tell me Urban Outfitters is selling ugly pothead poncho flip flops that only ultimate hipsters would wear? Well, that's just not like them.


Stacey sent me these rainbow skinnies which only ever be appropriate at Pride. Granted, the shoes are adorable.



Annie sent over this "vintage" "Lady Gaga" bodysuit.

Hold the phone. Are they saying that it's Lady Gaga because it looks like something WOULD wear, or are they saying that because it's something she actually DID wear.

Because either way, bodysuits probably aren't something you really wanna buy used.


Lauren sent over these lonely cat lady skinnies. I'm sorry, since when did skinny jeans just become a blank canvas for insane people?

She also pointed out the fact that the shoes and pants are both cat-based. I think that's the first time I've ever had to use the term "cat-based."

This calls for a cat-based meme.


Bahahaha that cat just looooves a sale.



Stacey sent me these bad boys. All reproductive connotations aside, what's up with the bull horn for a heel?


OK, as someone who works out on a fairly regular basis, I can *kinda* see how a hoodie with a ponytail hole (sent by Julia) could be.... convenient? It's the execution I have a problem with. Just seeing a ponytail poking out the back is gonna make you look like a horse butt, no doubt about it.


Kirsten and Amanda both sent me some shoes which I felt should go together. The second pair is called "Demonia." I hereby christen the first pair "Hauntmydreamsforeveria."



Because nothing says "Run far, far away before I make a scrapbook of what our future children would look like" quite like making your guy wear a shared sweatshirt.

See how they're looking off in different directions? It's because they're watching their self respect float off into the distance. (Thanks Petra!)


Seriously guys, keep the freakiness rolling in. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Of course, that could also be the fever and meds.

But I prefer to think it's because of you.

Pinterest Barf

That could be the worst blog title I've ever come up with. But I'm just doing a pic dump and I feel like barf was the only way to describe what's about to go down.

But seriously, I love Pinterest. I don't actually DO anything that I pin, but I respect that it's there. For a blogger, Pinterest is a wealth of outfit ideas when all we want to do is wear yoga pants to the grocery store. I'm constantly pinning outfit ideas all the live-long day. Are we friends yet? We should be.

I was paging through my Pinterest boards when I should have been asleep last night and realized that I Had a bunch of ideas that I could share with you.

Now, caution. Not everything is a winner on Pinterest. These shorts make me want to strangle a My Little Pony.


And yesterday I saw watermelon painted nails and they were gross. But there are good ideas to be had. Since I'm the laziest DIYer of life, I've handpicked some fun stuff that you can do that won't require that you own something called a "craft room" in your home.

Check it out and click the pic for the original pin.


This mani looks surprisingly doable, which is more than I can say for some of the stuff out there. I have a black nail pen that would make this uber-easy, but I'd have to goad my husband into doing it. And then there's the whole awkward moment where I explain to my friends that my husband helped me with my manicure. He's an architect, OK!? He has steady hands for this kind of thing!!


I could totally do this with the thrifty heels I got when I felt flustered in a secondhand store and just grabbed the nearest item and purchased them on the spot. I don't know why I'm so stressed while thriving. Just talking about it makes me hyperventilate. But these could bring me back from the brink!

Just no cat fabric, k?


Hair chalking! You guys, I totally do this all the time and it's super easy. I just grabbed a box of pastels from the art supply store. Run the pastel over your hair in a downward motion and when you get the color you want, set it with hairspray. It lasts all day and comes out in the wash. I love do add a little red and pink when I'm feeling old and want people to mistake me for a 15-year-old Hot Topic shopper... with two kids.


LOVE LOVE this idea just for its pure brilliance. You know those heels and flats you have that have scuffed toes? Tape off the toes and add another color and BAM you're fashion-forward and thrifty! I seriously need to try this. Off to dig out some shoes from my collection!




The lazy DIYer in me respects a no-sew project. My daughter wanted to make Barbie beds out of shoeboxes on Saturday and I used an inordinate amount of fabric glue. This scarf would be sooo easy to make and it's enough to make your tee and jeans look like something more than just throwing on whatever was clean.


My makeup brushes are always stuck at the bottom of my makeup drawer. But I love this for keeping them clean and not covered in eyeshadow dust! I have a hankering to go to the dollar store for organizational material. This could be bad.


OK, so a singular bow on top of your head is really weird and Gaga-ish, but I can totally handle this laid-back boho version. It's adorableness consumes me. Consuuuuuuuuumes.


So what do you think? Any of these worth trying? Now it's your turn... what's your fave style pin on Pinterest? Anything you wish would disappear immediately? (Ie: "Thinspirational" quotes about eating dust so you can look like Gwyneth Paltrow gag me please)

What I Wore: Cooling Off

It's been sooooo hot here later that I a) have been living in flip flops and b) not doing my hair ever. Like, not joking -- I went a straight four weeks without a blow dryer ever touching my hair. That is UNHEARD OF. It's just the idea of blasting hot air on myself when it's 104 outside. It literally makes me want to set myself on fire.

YES I AM AWARE OF THE IRONY.

SO imagine my supreeze (movie? Anyone?) when it started raining last week and cooled things off. Ahhhh heaven. I didn't want to waste time, so I fired up my blow dryer and dragged out my beloved cowboy boots.

Real fashion bloggers stare blankly at the camera.
Top: JCPenney
Belt: Uhhhh?
Jeans: Local boutique (Contagious)
Boots: Soda
Earrings: Heirloom from my jewelry lovin' Nanny
Bracelet and ring: F21

Kidding! We all know I'm not a real fashion blogger. Also, this just in: I will buy any shirt with a side-tie feature. Oh my cuteness. Also, the pattern is tiny bows. I die.


YAY tiny bows!

Today's supposed to be the last non-scorcher day for a while so I'd better be a good mom and get my kids some vitamin D. Lately we've been hiding in the A/C and watching My Little Pony on Netflix. Like... I actually know their names now. Apple Jack is my favorite. I hate myself.

Freaky Friday: Fun with Keywords

Hey guys!

So, it was my birthaversary yesterday (I was married on my birthday which freaks people out) and I had so much fun. First, my hubs and I went to a wedding at the same place we were married a gajillion years (read: nine) ago. It was awesome.


Seriously, we look like baby fetuses in this picture. SO YOUNG. I love this picture. It's just happy.

Then we headed home and were sans kids for a bit so we did prezzies. I love to wakeboard and my husband had accidentally dropped my fins (the dealies that go on the bottom) in Lake Powell last year so I've been boarding sans fins. So when he handed me a packet of fins I was like wow, easy there romantic. Replacement fins for our old wakeboard. But he had actually gotten me my own wakeboard fit for my weight and height instead of his. I am SO excited to give it a shot. Of course, it's supposed to rain all weekend. Curse you watersports gods!!


Also, I bought this dress on Monday to specifically wear on my birthday and was overjoyed to find that it matched my wakeboard. Meant to be. Alas, I will wait until next week to get on the water.

He also bought me a pair of new workout shoes that I needed badly and a couple of other pairs (what? he knows the way to my heart) We ate out and got cake and it was lovely. See? I actually like having my anniversary on my birthday. My poor hubs feels like he totally has to make it the best day ever and I get spoiled.

Anyway, it was awesome and I'm feeling very relaxed for the weekend. So let's do some Fun with Keywords, shall we? If you're new to the blog, Fun with Keywords is when I find the search queries used to find my site for some freakiness. You would be surprised at what the heck people come up with to find me. Hey, I don't judge!

Baahahaha we all know that's a lie.

"Jim Halpert's chest."

Um, has Jim ever gone topless on "The Office?"

Apparently, he has. Now my search history is peppered with "Shirtless Jim Halpert" queries and I feel weird.

Also, he is hairier than I would have guessed. What an educational blog I have!

"How to stop dressing like a 12 year old and start dressing like I'm 20." (Yes, someone searched this.)

Ooh, I'm sorry, this is How Not to Dress Like a Mom. You're looking for How Not to Dress Like a Toddler.

"Lady Gaga makeup tips."

My best tip? Don't.

"Awful infomercial clothing."

Oh, there is TOO much:
How about the Wearable Towel?
The Collar Card?
Our favorite Pajama Jeans?
The Booty Pop?
MUSIC VEST (Elegant and versatile!)
All so good.

"How do people dress for weddins?"

Oh, dressing for weddin's is WAY different than dressing for weddings. I mean, is there going to be a mechanical bull and a hoedown? If so, you'll probably wanna git somethin' fancy, like ironed Wranglers and that belt buckle you got at the saddle shop.

Or this.

'Merica.


"Amish urinal cakes."

I don't even....
no comment.

"Cool clothes for a 40-year-old hipster."

Dude. You are officially too old to be a hipster. You're the kind of person who makes hipsters mad. Here they are, trying to be all urban and cool and then all of a sudden you're like "Oh I actually listened to record players when they were legitimately the only choice. "

Not cool man. Not cool.

"Clogs and capris."

Leave my blog immediately.

"Cute fashion lines for when you're 8?"

First of all, you're too young to be on a computer, so go have a time out. Secondly, uh... Garanimals?


Alright, I have work to get back to and a long day of admiring my new shoes planned, so I'm out. Happy Friday lovelies!

Summer Dresses on a Budget

If it seems like I've been wearing dresses and skirts a lot, it's probably because I've been wearing dresses and skirts lot. Temps are in the triple digits here and I find pants and shorts generally insufferable, so out come the dresses! If you're still shying away from dresses, I can't see why: They're one piece, super easy, and the fastest way to look put together.

Need more reasons? Check out some of these awesome summer dresses and ideas. I did my best to keep the prices under $50 and find places that'll ship to the U.S. My apologies to your husband and your bank account.

Nautical Dresses:

A|Wear nautical dress, $49 / Dorothy Perkins cotton dress, $23 / Joules nautical dress, $46 / A|Wear mini dress, $38 / Mango dress, $26 / Platform wedge / Qupid ankle wrap sandals / Qupid Finder 69 Red Velvet Sculpted Peep Toe Platform Wedges

Nautical is SO summer. Navy, red, and white with graphic prints like stripes or dots is the fastest way to achieve it. Grab one of these and throw around words like "starboard" for no apparent reason. Extra points if you wear gold jewelry and constantly refer to your husband as "first mate."

Cocktail Dresses:

Wallis animal print dress / Dorothy Perkins floral print dress, $46 / Dorothy Perkins dress, $46 / Dorothy Perkins grey dress, $47 / Wallis black cocktail dress / Platform heels / Peep toe shoes / Wet Seal platform shoes / Charlotte Russe high heel pumps / Michael Antonio shoes

So, if you have an evening wedding to attend during the summer, the trick to hot
weather cocktail dresses is to wear fewer accessories.
Honestly, a good cocktail dress is kind of like an accessory itself.
Look for details; lace, patterns and texture all count.
Then, add some crazy awesome shoes and you're pretty much done.

Maxi Dresses:

Ruffle neck dress / Dorothy Perkins twist dress, $26 / V neck dress, $23 / Knit maxi dress / Short cardigan / Calvin Klein Underwear draped top / Carly Knit Maxi Dress - Extended Length / Ankle tie wedge / Charlotte Russe strappy wedge / Zara wedge heel shoes / Platform wedge / Promise Shoes black wedge heels

If you didn't notice, maxi dresses are kind of a summer staple for me.
It's like wearing pajamas to WalMart only more socially acceptable. The gold standard
for maxi dresses are wedges, but they're totally cute with flat strappy
sandals too. I bought an adorable maxi to wear tomorrow and I'm excited
in a nerdy fashion kinda way. I also like having some maxi dresses
that I can wear alone and some that look better with layers. YAY SUMMER.

Casual Dresses:

A|Wear cap sleeve dress, $16 / Wrap dress / H&M dress, $31 / A|Wear lace cocktail dress, $47 / Dorothy Perkins cotton dress, $34 / H&M dress, $39 / Wallis print dress / Military dress / Suede boots / A|X Armani Exchange leather sandals / Oasis leopard loafer, $37 / TOMS flat / Michael Antonio gold sandals / N.Y.L.A. wedge heels / Beige shoes / Charlotte Russe glitter flat

What do I wear when grocery shopping, checking out the farmer's mark,
or ignoring my children while they play at the park?
Why, casual dresses of course ! I find them to be way cooler than shorts and hello!?
They're totally adorable. Wear 'em with flats, sandals, and boots...
TOMS too if you can handle it and don't hate them.
(I heart mine, so there you go.)

Peplum Dresses:

Dorothy Perkins peplum dress, $23 / Dorothy Perkins peplum dress, $39 / Dorothy Perkins peplum dress, $47 / Platform heels / Platform shoes / Restricted high heels / Forever 21 beaded clutch / Clutch handbag / Clutch handbag

Peplum dresses are SO summer for two reasons.
1) It's just fun to say "peplum." Try it right now! I wasn't lying.
2) It's a fun change from the same old dresses.
Super ladylike, I love them for formal stuff and business. Add a cardi to dress one down.
How do you make sure your peplum is modern and not scary 80s?
Look for more demure peplum. A bow or just a halfsie peplum feature is more 2012 than an entire Madonna-esque half skirt from your senior prom.

In short, I'm saying that dresses are awesome for summer and
you should wear them constantly.

Which one's your fave? Are you a dress wearer or do you fear that moment
when you wear a dress somewhere outside of church and someone is
like "Why are you all dressed up?" Ugh, so annoying.