Freaky Friday: Hipsters
Friday, June 1, 2012
Me and my little brother (who is like 10 feet tall despite being three years younger than me) had a text convo about hipsters. I thought I'd share.
As a precursor, please keep in mind that Marshall is my parent's dog. Jonathan did not throw up on a person. Also, all of his texts are labeled Ton because he might have had what we call a bit of weight problem when he was a child and the name stuck. Sorry, Ton Ton.
Here, I'll make it up to you by proving that you've lost your baby chubs. Readers, one of the above guys is my brother. GUESS!
I'm in the process of trying to marry him off. I'll accept applications or just put him and my other brothers on a weird family edition of "The Bachelor."
ANYWAY! Hipsters.... (I'm in blue, Ton is silver. Colors are so mainstream.)
Seriously, is there anything worse than hipsters? I mean FINE nuclear warfare would be slightly worse, but they're up there. It's not even the clothes that I hate. It's more the superiority complex that makes me want to punch a display of thrift store tweed pants.
Yes, Hipster Ariel. WE KNOW you hate popular stuff. You're SO underground.
It's pretty ironic... you wouldn't get it.
All annoying habits and serial killer music aside, some of hipster fashion is actually bearable. The other stuff just looks like a Goodwill threw up on a homeless person. Observe.
Awesome hipster. Note the use of humor AND irony AND non-douchebaggery. Much love, Jakie-poo.
You are SO right, geriatric hipster.
Let this be a warning to all of you hipsters... Despite dressing in clothes that are 40 years old, you will not age well.
Um, I pretty much want to be this hipster. Those are the ultimate skinny jeans and I might have a slight girl crush.
I'm sorry, I missed the part where crotchtastic boob shorts were hip? I think I might be too old to get it. Wait... does that make me vintage and even MORE hipster? I'M SO CONFUSED.
I WILL have this shaggy hipster haircut. The 80s blazer is AH-mazing, even if she got it at the Salvation Army. And teamed with a sloppy shirt and skinny jeans? Excuse me while I recreate this look IMMEDIATELY. I even love the glasses and shall be buying some soon.
Rock on, hot hipster. Rock on.
Sigh. The Beatles? Really? What a lazy attempt at being a hipster.
"It's the Beatles. They're pretty underground... you've probably never heard of them."
"Um, they're the most popular band in history."
"WHAT!? The guy in the record store told me this was legit! I would have picked it out for myself but I've ruined my eyes by wearing my grandmother's bifocals!"
Audrey Hepburn: The O.H. - Original Hipster. Remember her GAP commercial? Suck it, misunderstood upper middle class teens!
Sure they are.
I know this post just proves that I'm either woefully out of touch with current fashion and pop culture or just more committed to personal hygiene than most hipster 20-somethings. I can't decide which.
Plus, I'm pretty sure I was a hipster back in 1989. Check those glasses, Zooey Deschanel haircut and suspenders, suckas!
Weigh in: How do you really feel about hipster culture? If you're reading this on your Macbook in a coffee shop while drinking chai tea and wearing thrifted flannel, I think we already have your vote, thanks.
Labels:
freaky friday
33 comments:
Hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! Oh, I do love this! Hipsters are yucky. I love you for taking a stand!
Trufacts: This blog post is roughly ten times more hilarious if you read it while listening to Gotye (no, it wasn't just a coincidence, there's no Gotye on my iTunes, I found Gotye specifically to listen to to accompany this).
Being 23 and 360 days old, I'm kind of almost exactly prime Hipster age. In fact, if I still dressed how I dressed in 2005-6, then I'd be a hipster.* But then I realised that colours are not the enemy and I'm allowed to wear clothes I like, I don't have to live in jeans and mini skirts and ironic/underground t-shirts. I still essentially have the makings of a hipster wardrobe, but I prefer to be a bit more polished if I'm going casual.
*Wait, did I just essentially say 'I was a hipster before anyone else was a hipster?' I think I need to die.
HAHAHAHA I totally loled. I was a child of the 80s, therefore I was a hipster before it was cool. Acid wash? Child's play.
That's how they get you, A. That's how they get you.
Sometimes I put together outfits, look in the mirror, and go "Who the hell do you think you are?! A freaking hipster?!" And then I change. Also, one of my clients was trying to describe her brother in law to me for some artwork she was commissioning for him... and she confused the terms hipster and hippy. So for years she's been telling everyone he's a "dirty hippy". In all his newsboy cap and suspender wearing, indie music listening glory. I immediately decided that she was infinitely cooler/funnier than him. Which he would probably be stoked to know.
Hahahahahaha! Best post ever!
My inner 14-year-old is crying - that's a picture of Kurt Cobain, not Steven Tyler! The grunge era wasn't kind either, but at least we didn't pull our pants up to our armpits.
I live and work amongst hipsters and feel a bit like an anthropologist out of a bad movie, thrown into a land they don't understand. I mean, what's wrong with gears and brakes on a bike?
lol I know that's not Steven Tyler. I'm saying he's the winner for that category!
Haha we talk about hipsters like they're the guy from Encino Man... it's a brave new world guys, and digital cameras are awesome.
LOL but now I can see how that would be confusing. Reworded!
I'm so confused!
I'm ready to make fun of someone for liking cassette tapes, and yet think it's okay to enjoy records? Am I trying to apply logic to this discussion?
My head is about to explode.
That being said, the hipster girls upon whom you were crushing--I second that emotion.
I think my favorite part of this post was 1989 Jae. So adorable.
At the risk of sounding like a cranky old lady (I'm 34) I'm going to mention that American Apparel clothing...well, imagine that none of the models are 18 and have perfect bodies. Instead, picture a 45-year-old woman with love handles. Suddenly, they're not "hip," they're mom jeans.
American Apparel ads are HORRIBLE. Like, the worst ever in the industry. They have such a creepy basement porn vibe to them. And all of the girls look 12. Scrub my brain, s'il vous plait!
Thanks for liking 1989 Jae. 1989 Jae had a complex thanks to her glasses. 1989 Jae would try and hide them from her dad on a daily basis, who would helpfully find them and bring them to school. Le sigh.
When my sister-in-law was in middle school, she hated her glasses so much that she destroyed them on purpose only to have her mom pull out a really old, even more hideous pair for her.
"Oh, good thing I saved these, then!"
OMG! I just Googled "Hipster" images and I think I am a hipster!
I had no idea I was a hipster. Must rethink whole wardrobe.........
I don't like hipsters at all but I do like that Gotye song. Can we still be friends? It's so catchy.
Hipsters annoy me to no end.
I'm sorry, but taking iPhone pictures & editing them to sephia does NOT make you a budding photog.
Wearing fake glasses fools NO. ONE.
It's like wearing a big neon sign saying, "I'm trying too hard to look cool!". Especially to us real nerds who actually HAVE to wear glasses. Sheesh.
Granted, there are a few gems with bringing back vintage clothing - especially when 'style' today is dip-dyed bootie shorts (really??) and literally trying to get away with wearing as little as possible.
Unless their idea of vintage is circa MK/A Olsen aka Bag Lady.
Jenna, we are still friends. Even if I think you're a secret serial killer.
Me and my other brother were talking about how awesome it is that most hipsters pay MEGA bucks to look that way. Yeah, there's a few who actually thrift shop, but the rest are shelling out at antrho like everyone else. lol!
Get over yourself you self righteous bitch! You are an epic fail when it comes to fashion. You must have a boring existence if you are blogging about what not to wear. That's why your husband is screwing some 19 year old, but it's okay you have your "fashion."
Ughhhhhh here comes the hater parade! Sorry for the language guys. It's clearly a well-thought out commentary on my blog.
PS you know every time you visit my blog I make money, right?
Dear Anon- you are sad. Very very sad. If you are a hipster and offended by Jae's commentary, then push your fake glasses up a little higher and breathe easy. I'm sure nothing she said applies to you. You aren't a mainstream hipster.
If you're not a hipster and simply a miserable old coot who's husband actually is screwing a 19 year old, I wish you all the luck in the world.
But more realistically you are an angry, lonely person with nothing better to do than hate on strangers on the internet. I sincerely hope you find inner peace.
And that you learn that signing anything "anonymous" automatically negates anything you have to say. It's called being a coward.
Love,
Morgan
Hahaha! This old lady is very amused by your post! We had a hipster for our son's nanny and she looked just like her hipster brother. It was a little frightening,
Hahaha! This old lady is very amused by your post! We had a hipster for our son's nanny and she looked just like her hipster brother. It was a little frightening,
This whole hipster hate is pretty old by now. It's been way too many years and frankly, it kind of comes off as jealous.
Assuming that every person that wears a graphic tee and skinny jeans just wants to be underground is flawed and rude and reassuring them sarcastically that they are cool doesn't make your case any stronger. It's the non-hipsters who are continually bringing hipsters up.
And isn't spending a whole blogpost hating on a subculture a little elitist in itself? It stands to reason that you think you're cool just as much as they do. The only difference is that they are going against what is "normal" even if there is a hipster "normal," and that scares or threatens or angers you in some way.
One last thing, Audrey Hepburn was not a hipster, is not, and never will be considered a hipster. She played one in a film, and that kind of hipster of the 1950's is completely different.
Ugh, overthinking a blog post. So hipster.
Thinking isn't hip. It's necessary.
Easy there Aristotle.
The only people who hate hipsters are other hipsters. The rest of us don't mind, and mostly don't care what they do, as long add they don't hurt anyone. So get over yourselves. Next time throw up on yourself.
Where I olive everyone wears high rise jeans. Not just hipsters, but everyone. Really pretty much in Europe everyone wears high rise pants of one kind or another. I like mom jeans. No one even wears low rise shit, really. They don't even sell it except in Forever 21 or maybe Target. Its tacky. So I wear mom jeans all day, and i am not a hipster by any means. …and i think your mom either got around a lot, or else your daddy changed color like a mood ring…because your brother doesn't exactly look like you.
You do understand you're two years late to this party and that my brother is the white guy, right?
A+, however, for when you told me to throw up on myself. Really compelling stuff.
Hey I just want to know... Where did you find this picture? 'Cause I think I just fell for her hard. So I guess I know now the feeling of Attraction at first sight.
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