How to Shop on Black Friday Without Wanting to Kill Yourself and Others

This picture makes me want to throw up a little bit. (Found here)

Well, it's no secret that I hold Black Friday shopping in high esteem. I actually go shopping all day Saturday too, so I don't discriminate days. Saturday is mall day. I just love kicking off the Christmas season by seeing what deals I can score and checking off the mile long gift list that I need to fulfill each year. This year, I've gotten started early, since I'm heading up to see my family next week. But that doesn't mean I can't get a little Black Friday love too.

I totally get those who hate Black Friday. Last year I had the worst experience OF LIFE. It was the first year that I attempted to go on my own. First of all, I did the Disney store at midnight, and the turned around and did Walmart at 4am. So I was completely sleep deprived. THEN! When at Walmart, I made nice with a girl and we promised to help each other find a certain item, and when we did there was only two left and she took both of them. THEN someone tried to pick a fight with me. If you must know anything about me, it's that I'm terrified, TERRIFIED of confrontation. By the time I got home I was near tears and swore I'd never go again.

Of course, I saw the ads already and of course I'm going to go. But this year I'm going to change a few things to make sure that I have a good experience. Well, as good as possible, seeing that I'm up and standing in frigid temps at 4am and racing through a store where for SOME REASON the dolls are in the meat section. Take my advice, and you too can learn to love Black Friday again.

1) Put some thought into your clothes. No, I don't mean you have to go out looking perfect. I mean, it's going to be cold outside, yet boiling hot inside. Dress in layers so you aren't irritable inside when it suddenly becomes 400 degrees and you're fighting with someone over the last copy of "Miss Congeniality." My favorite trick is to bring along a thick, knitted scarf. When I'm outside, it's so nice and warm, and then inside I can take it off and I feel 20 degrees cooler without having to take off my coat and shlepp it around in the cart. Also, I live in a very small community, and there's a good chance that's I'll see neighbors out and about. So the nasty drawstring, elasticized sweatpants stay at home. In fact, I usually shop in yoga pants and a zip hoodie. And maybe some mascara, but I'm vain like that.

2) Go with someone else. It is a jungle out there, and one thing I learned from last year is that a very small, 120 white girl is an easy target. One of the best things about my husband is that he generally looks pretty ticked off most of the time. I can't tell you how many times a friend has met him and asked me later "Does he hate me?" He might, but honestly, he just looks annoyed. It's his brow bone. Anyway, he's great to come with because no one ever bugs me when they get a look at my bodyguard, Monsieur Angryface. If your hubby won't come, get a pack of girlfriends and stick together, divvy up the stuff you want so you're not dashing around the store.

3) Make a plan. If there's something that you must have, make sure that takes top priority. DVDS, clothes and other items that would just be nice to have can wait. Seriously, don't get up at 4am for cheap slippers. I go through the ads the night before, and label what I want from each store and the price. THEN I number it according to priority. That way, I know what I'm going for at each store, and the price that it shoud be before I get up to the checkout.

4) Eat something. I feel like crap at 4am, so I always forgo eating on my way out the door. By 6am my stomach is growling and I'm irritable and annoyed with everyone and everything. Even if you don't feel like eating, grab a cereal bar or a bag of almonds on the way out. You can snag some food on the run without having to stop, and you'll feel better until you can go for a McDonald's run (oh please, you know you do it.)

5) Remember why you're doing all of this. You want to get gifts for your family and friends to celebrate Christmas. Prepare yourself. You know it's going to a madhouse, and some creepy 60 year old lady with curlers in her hair will undoubtedly try and butt in line. Let's try to keep some of that Christmas spirit. Actually, my sweet brother in law Shane taught me this. We were shopping during my first Black Friday experience, and some lady started yelling at me for something or other, and Shane stepped up and told the lady to go ahead and wished her a Merry Christmas. It taught me that sometimes, it's better to kill 'em with kindness. Keep your head, even if everyone else is acting like they're getting the last known HDTV ever made.

Finally, my last tip is to keep your Black Friday early morning foray short. My husband and I like to go out early (while Grandma and Grandpa watch the kids), come home in time for breakfast, and then we head out as a family to look for stuff that wasn't super important. The rest of the day gets treated like the holiday it is, while I gloat over my bagfuls of purchases hidden in the guest room.

Happy shopping guys!