Look Better in Less Time

(Sweet mother, this stuff is GOLD. If gold was $1.)

So I want to continue on our theme that Kelly the Trainer started, about being strapped for time pretty much every day.

We've discussed how obnoxious I find it when people believe that if you look nice, you must be neglecting your children in some way. THIS IS PISH POSH. I know this because yesterday, while I got ready my son ate all of my makeup brushes because he was sitting right beside me.

Take that, naysayers.

But really, is there anything more annoying than getting ready to go somewhere? There's the showering and the dressing and the makeuping and the yelling at my kids and the show finding because baby's shoes are officially THE WORST. My son's always end up somewhere totally weird like the underwear drawer and my husband and I end up in a screaming match because we're late and our child is shoeless and just threw up on himself.

I KNOW.

Since having numero dos (that's number two for my non-Dora watching friends) I have learned to streamline my process so that at least I am looking presentable before we leave the house, no matter what.

That's not to say I don't have days where I wear my husband's Nike shorts around. I had a really BAD sunburn on Tuesday and pants hurt me.

But my general rule of thumb is this: Never leave the house in a state where you would be MORTIFIED if your ex saw you.

You know how you always want your ex to see how amazingly attractive and successful you've become? And how you've exceeded his expectations completely so he can go home and mourn your loss forever? Yeah. That's how you should look when you leave the house. Because you never know, right?

In my case, I'm just usually terrified that a reader will catch me in sweats and my credibility will be destroyed. But usually I can get showered, dressed, hair and makeup done in 30 minutes. So I plan accordingly and more often than not, finish it fast.

Of course, I don't always need 30 minutes. I separate how "ready" I have to get into levels.

Level One: I'm picking up my daughter from preschool and don't want to look haggy, but don't really care just the same.

After getting showered and dressed in something easy like jeans and a vintage tee, I brush a motherlode of mousse through my hair and call it good. I have lovey wavy hair that can go either way. I then brush on some BareMinerals, which is my makeup lover, curl my eyelashes and hit them mascara. Done in five minutes, BOOM. Flip flops are applied.

Level Two: I am getting ready for the day, have 15 minutes and don't want my husband to be terrified of me when he gets home.

Shower, dressed in something like dark jeans and a more embellished shirt, and blowdry my hair with a diffuser. Then I do my super awesome flat iron curls. For makeup, I get BareMinerals foundation AND bronzer, pop on liquid eyeliner (My favorite is E.L.F. in purple. I am obsessed. I might buy several in advanced because I'm scared of not having it. It goes on like a marker so it stays put FOREVER) and eyelashes curled, mascara applied, flats on.

Level Three: I have an event, like a wedding or something.

This is when I do my whole shebang 30 minutes. I wear something hot, because that's the way I roll. If you know anything about me by now you know I enjoy Mad Man-esque 40s and 50s vintage styles. I usually straighten out my hair which can be time consuming. As for makeup, I do it the same but add a smoky eye. Does everyone know how to do a smoky eye? I feel like next week should be skills week and we'll cover smoky eyes and blowouts. SHALL WE? Ooh, I'm excited. ANYHOW, the smoky eye is the fastest way to look dramatic with not much effort. Then I slap on some super dramatic jewelry like peacock earrings, a pair of heels and am good to go.

Having a process and a plan when you get ready for the morning or for a date can make it go faster and be less painful for your poor husband, who if like mine is sitting out in the car and trying very hard not to lay on the horn.

Streamline your process and know beforehand how long it will take you to get ready for anything. It bothers me when someone is like "Yeah, it'll be like 10 mins!" and it's really like, an hour, and they're advertising how much time and effort it takes to make them look presentable, you know? Giving a little extra to your appearance shouldn't take hours. It shold take a few extra minutes to do something that gives you a little umph in your step.

If you don't usually feel good about yourself during the day because you feel crappy about your appearance, why not just *try* today to fix your hair or wear some cute shoes. I KNOW it's trivial when baby birds are dying in the Gulf of Mexico, but maybe it'll do a little something for your day. Don't get me wrong, I'll bet you have a super sweet spirit, and your personality is like, the soul equivalent of a Victoria's Secret model. But maybe it's okay to care that the inside and outside match, right?