Freaky Friday: Maternity Addition

(See what I did there? Addition? Because you're expecting a new addition? Oh I am PUNNY!)

So I volunteer at the hospital where I spent the majority of my last pregnancy. I have absolutely NO desire (like really... negative desire) to ever get pregnant again, and being around all of the pregnant moms and new moms there gives me enough exposure to babies and pregnancy to get it out of my system. But one thing I didn't mind about pregnancy (and really, the list is quite short) is the cute clothes they have now.

Maternity clothes didn't used to be so adorable and body hugging. Once upon a time the goal of maternity clothes was to hide the fact that you were (the HORROR) with child. Then people might assume that *gasp* you did the deed at least once.

But today, with a few exceptions, maternity clothes are pretty adorable. My favorite part of being pregnant was wearing the tightest clothes possible and not worrying about my belly at all. I love clothes that show off the belly. I hate maternity clothes that are droopy and drab. It took me a while to find bad maternity clothes, and that made me happy about the state of the world in general.


K, so here's an example of the late 80s, early 90s choices when it came to maternity clothes. Ugh, aren't you glad you're not your mother? Like, I like my mom and all... but she had to wear a lot of crappy clothes.


What a classy lady! I love being able to see that pregnant glow from this lady's exposed crotch.


This makes me sad. It looks like Peter Pan knocked up Tinkerbell and then made her hide her no-no belly. I just picture this with scary green leggings. Go ahead. You can too.


Yes! The expandable dress for all months of pregnancy. Besides the fact that she looks like a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, aren't ALL maternity clothes expandable? You do not need shutter blinds for your belly.


This is called an over share. A really embarrassing over share for your husband. Gosh I hate novelty pregnancy clothes.


Oh, I so wish there was a way to un-see this. It's almost Halloween so it means it's time for sexy prostitute clothes! I've already been watching the Halloween shop in the mall put up displays of sexy jailbirds and the like. That's bad enough. Let's not make it worse by dressing up like a sexy devil whilst gestating.


These overalls are by Heidi Klum. Should I go for the easy joke and tell Heidi that overalls are "out"? And they've been "out" since, oh, 1992? Nah. Too easy.


Compliments of AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com. I just love that she's dressed as a mermaid and they're in some nasty creek. Also, his surf shorts detract a little from the fantasy. Or you could both put some clothes on? K thanks.

When maternity clothes are good, they're very good. When they're bad, they make me want to get a hysterectomy.

Cleaning Out Your Closet

One of the biggest challenges with trying to dress well with kids is that sometimes, you just don't feel like you have the time to put yourself together and get out the door. You're running off to carpool, hurrying out to work or trying to squeeze in a trip to the gym and the way you look just happens to take a backseat for the day. So you end up heading out in your trusty tee and jeans combo, with barely enough time to slip on your flip flops as you run out to the car.

Yeah, well, I don't buy that. For the same amount of time that it takes to throw on crappy clothes, you could have put something easy and effortless together. I know the idea of putting a real, live OUTFIT together can be daunting at first, but if you stock your closet with the right items, you shouldn't have a problem. Consider the following examples:

Oh hey, typical and boring mom uniform. How's it going? You seemed like a good idea at 9am, but now you feel frumpy and lame when you have to make a dash into a store, or heaven forbid, stop to idly gossip with the other moms in the pickup line. I KNOW, I'VE BEEN THERE. So how long does it take you to put on something like this? All of three minutes? You throw on yesterday's jeans, fish a t-shirt out of your husband's closet and slide on your trust foam footwear. Now consider this:

Cream Lace Top, 29 GBP
Old Navy Womens The Diva Boot-Cut Jeans, $30
Women's AE Leopard Ballet Flat (Leopard), $30
Drawstring Hobo Bag with Coin Purse, $32
ASOS Mixed Chain Pendant Necklace, $20

My! How effortless and put together you look, mom. This outfit would have taken no more extra time to put together. You still have jeans, but this time they're darker wash and with a more flattering cut. Dark jeans literally match anything which make them SO EASY in the morning.The shirt? It should be a staple in your closet. Flattering, interesting tops that don't need any more adornment than a few chains or a pair of earrings. Although, I think earrings can be too jarring first thing in the morning, so keep them low key. A pair of flats updates a look where flip flops would have looked childish, and a non-mommish yet super roomy bag finishes it off. DONE!

Anyway, what I'm saying is if you have the right items in your closet, there's not an excuse for heading out the door looking sad, even if you're short on time. It may take some practice and a little shopping, but purging your closet may be the key to looking better.

Take a look at your closet. Now is as good a time as any to get rid of stuff that isn't doing you any favors. Consider donating or tossing the following:

-Anything that doesn't fit. Yes, I know you want to lose ten pounds, but that doesn't mean the jeans you wore in high school are in style. Let it go.
-Anything that you don't feel confident or attractive in. Don't know if you like it? Put it on and snap a digi photo. You'll find out real fast which clothes are keepers and which are kickers. Ask your husband too. You'll be surprised at how vocal he is about your favorite sweater. Every so often my husband dispenses helpful fashion advice, like "You should wear more pink." I own exactly one pink shirt. Time to go shopping.
-Any comfort items that you're keeping just because they're easy to throw on or it looked good once upon a time/10 lbs ago/when you were in 8th grade. Get rid of your 9am safety net and MAKE yourself try something new.
-Anything barfed on, peed on, pooped on, stained with food or otherwise destroyed. It's gross.

Paring your wardrobe back to better fitting staples may seem like a big step, especially if you had a previously well-stocked, albeit lame, closet. But you'll find that when you remove the safety of your old standbys you're forced into making better clothing choices on the fly.

Seriously, if you doubt me, set a timer tomorrow while you pick out something casual, yet presentable tomorrow. I guarantee that you can choose something the fits better and is more interesting in the same amount of time it would have taken you to fish your husband's college sweatshirt out of the laundry pile.

Trust me.

Getting Kids Active

Getting kids active is on everyone's mind these days. From us as parents, to school boards, to our governments. As a fitness professional I know that if kids are exposed to lots of different activities when they are young, and encouraged to be active, they will of course more likely to be active adults.

What does this mean to us as parents? Well it means that our children will learn to work with others in teams, it will build confidence, give them challenges that they may not have thought of themselves doing (the whole try something new thing), keeps their bodies healthy and strong and works their minds.

So many advantages to being active. Of course the biggest fear for even the governments right now is how quickly obesity rates are climbing in children. This brings on many more health problems, the fastest rising being childhood diabetes.

The trick with keeping your kids active is to make it fun. Even as adults we love to do things we enjoy. So to make activity part of your lifestyle, be sure your kids love to do it.

Being active can be a simple as going to the park, but instead of sitting on the bench watching them play, get in there and play with them. You can bring a soccer or foot ball with you and toss that around, or you can look for events going on in and around your community and get involved. This is one of my favourite things to do.

Just on Sat. the kids were in their very first triathalon. We have always done running events so this was a new experience for everyone. It turned out to be great. It was specifically organized for kids ages 3-15.

For those of you who aren't familiar with triathalon's its where you start out with a swim, then a bike ride, then finishing with a run. My 7 year old went first. As a mom, I was so nervous for her. Swimming wasn't her strength, but she did awesome. She was the second one out of the pool and I was there encouraging her as she transitioned from her swim to her bike. My 10 year old did just as great (she had a much longer swim, bike and run) and the best part is, they loved it and asked us when the next one was.

Awesome. We had never done anything like this but events like these are often well organized, the energy so high, and they are great with the kids. Everyone gets a medal, t-shirt (which they both wore to school today) and snacks when they finish the race. What's not to love?

Are we hooked? For sure. We will definitely do a few next year. We won't give up on our running races but it's great to have variety and let kids find out what they really like.

Google your city name and different events like kids triathalon's, running races, mountain bike races etc. and get involved. Not only will your kids keep active, they will be building a strong foundation for their children and tons of great memories.

Committed to your fitness success,

Kelly Parker
www.fitmommakeover.net

Accessorizing Your LBD

Okay!

So, I received an email from a reader (Hi Courtney!) who was wondering about how to accessorize a regular black shirt dress. First of all, love shirt dresses. I have a navy one that is constant rotation, and it's easy to dress up or down. So first of call, good purchase.

When someone asks me about accessories, I hesitate to give a solid answer. Accessories are what make the outfit you, so to me, they are a personal part of your wardrobe. The accessories that make an outfit very "Jae" might not be what you would choose. But they can completely make or break an outfit.

Here I'm going to show you the same black shirt dress done four ways to prove that the foundation is what supports the outfit, while the accessories personalize it. Depending on your personality, you'll accessorize your LBD differently for various occasions.

I really feel like this should have a Cosmopolitan-type quiz to go with it... like, "What's Your LBD Style?" and the questions would read like this:

What is your idea of a dream date?
a) Lustily making use of a mountain cabin and bear skin rug?
b) Getting down and dirty on a working farm?
c) Getting sand between your toes, if you know what I mean.
d) Trying to squeeze in a few moments of "mommy and daddy time" while your four-year-old daughter knocks on the door and demands to know what you're doing.

Ooh, ooh! I pick 'D'. Thanks for that, Cosmo.

Anyway... back to the clothes.

If you're a rocker:

Quba Wrap Zipper Front Jersey Dress, $199
Red Denim Stud Strap Zipper Decor Heels @ Amiclubwear Heel Shoes..., $26
Old Navy Womens Dome Cocktail Rings, $13
Charms On Jersey Necklace, $35
Braided Chain Stud Belt - Women's Clothing and Apparel - Chic Dresses,..., $34
Zebra Print Clutch

Accessorize with leather and studs. It takes a totally average shirt dress and vamps it up a few notches. The studs in the shoes are reflected in the belt without being matchy matchy, and a few long strands of necklaces are enough around the face. PS how much do you love that clutch? OOH RHYMES! Anyway, wear this to a concert or high school reunion and PRAY you meet your ex-boyfriend. Then talk about your yacht.

If you're quirky or a bit of a hipster:

Quba Wrap Zipper Front Jersey Dress, $199
Steve Madden Trinitis Pumps, $45
Magid Evening Bag with Flower Accent, $42
Futuristic Metal Cuff, $25
Centre Jewel Flower Corsage, 8 GBP
Mango Leather Sash Belt, $42
PINK HEAD PORTRAIT ORGANZA FLOWER ANYWHERE CLIP, $30
Lace flower hair clip, 5 GBP

I actually secretly wish I was more hipster than I was. I love the idea of knits and thrifted clothes and caring for the environment, etc, etc. I just never get around to it. But this organic-looking outfit could fool people. Same shirt dress, different accessories. I *just* bought a cardigan with three flower pins like this and I totally worship it. You'll notice that there's a belt included in each outfit. This dress needs a belt. Courtney, so does yours. The flimsy fabric belts that come with most shirt dresses are laughable. Get something real. This one is adorable. So cute for a night time wedding or event.

If you're trendy:

Quba Wrap Zipper Front Jersey Dress, $199
Pirate Cardigan, 15 GBP
Gold and Brazen Heel, $38
La Regale Satin Pleated Clutch, $29
Vibrant Peacock Feather Earrings, $4.80
Teal Flower Petal Cuff
AK Anne Klein - 1015873 (Turquoise) - Accessories, $34

This outfit I put together with the idea of what I would wear if I were wearing this shirt dress out. I consider my tastes to be fairly trendy, so I went with brighter accessories. Using the blue as an accent makes this look sophisticated without looking like an F21 barfed on it. Any excuse to wear peacock is ok by me! Also, I've taken to wearing my statement watch over my long sleeved, tight shirts. As long as they fit slim, it works and it brings more attention to your accessories. Wear this when you're hanging out with your fashionable friend. (That was a hint to all of my friends. Ha!)

If you're a girly girl:

Quba Wrap Zipper Front Jersey Dress, $199
Nude Round Toe Pumps with Ankle Strap, $28
Jessica Simpson Bags Casablanca Clutch - eBags.com, $36
Diane Gilman Pave Enamel Animal Print Watch at HSN.com, $30
Carolee - Retro Pearls Cluster Pearl Pierced Earrings (Gold/White..., $38
ASOS Bow Skinny Belt, $6.74

If you like to feel feminine when you get dressed up, pale pinks make this look girly without veering into Alice in Wonderland territory. Black makes the perfect backdrop for pearls and I love the surprise of mixing a leopard print watch with a snakeskin bag for interest. How cute would this be for an afternoon wedding?

So no matter where you're headed in your LBD, using your own personality to accessorize will give the same dress a new life over and over again. It's why I get annoyed at people who whine that something isn't their style... well, you wear the clothes and not the other way around. Create your style by mixing things up. It's the cheapest way to expand your closet and make old pieces look new again.

So hope that helps, Courtney! And anyone else has questions, you can find me at my email address there on the sidebar, or on Facebook!

What's your favorite way to accessorize an LBD?

Train Smarter, Not Longer

For those of us who have a billion things to do, like me this is sweet music to your ears. My plan today was to start my training for my half marathon I'm doing the first week of Nov. I usually do one about now but I was away most of the summer and was unable to get my miles in. I thought early Nov. would be a great time to get one in.

To start my training, I always like to get a good sleep--what was I thinking:) We were driving home from a friends cottage last night and when we got home (reasonable-8pm) the kids were complaining about itchy heads. We had some dandruff a while ago so I told them to come over while I checked it out. AUGH!!!!!!!! within seconds, I saw it wasn't dandruff, it was lice!

So my early to bed was out the window, I spent the next several hours combing through my 3 girls very long hair. The point of this story is that things always happen unexpectedly, things you don't plan on, so work with it.

I was going to go for a long run but I quickly changed my schedule. I'm going to do boot camp tonight (so looking forward to having my butt kicked), and I will fit my run in tomorrow.



It's important to have a plan for your workouts, but also be flexible when little (or big) things come up. The next thing is to train smarter, not longer. You don't need to spend hours and hours working out. If you know me, or at least been reading Mondays posts and the ones on fitmommakeover.net you know that I am all about getting in the best workout in the least amount of time.

The best way to do this is to maximize on each exercise. Instead of doing exercises like a machine chest press, do push ups. Instead of doing a leg extension or hamstring curl, try squats and lunges. Some of my favourite exercises are combo's. An example of this is a squat with a row using tubing, or lunges with a tricep kickback. By doing these type of exercises, you cut down your time because you are working tons of muscles at once and you burn lots of calories.

After your great 30 min workout, you need to stretch everything and then rest. So many people don't rest long enough. You muscles do the best growth when you are actually resting, not working out. So workout, then rest.


Get Good Sleep: I know if you have babies who are not sleeping through the night, this sounds like an impossible mission. If this is you right now, do the best you can. If for the rest of you, you have better control over your sleeping habits, go to bed earlier. By 1030pm. I hear so often of late nights of midnight or later and it's just not healthy. Early to bed, early to rise. Our ancestors did it out of necessity, we need to do for better health.

So if you have been spending hours working out, give this a try. Try a quick 20-30 minute workout using exercises like push ups, squats and lunges, combine some of your movements and then give yourself a rest. Do that 3-4 times a week, add some cardio in on your off days and see how you feel. (you don't want to lose intensity though, be sure if you are doing a shorter workout, that you don't skip your intensity and make it easier).

Committed to your fitness success,
Kelly Parker
www.fitmommakeover.net

Freaky Friday

It actually feels good to get back into the swing of things. Of course, I'm off on vacation AGAIN next weekend, but I promise I'll whip up a post and send it your way before I leave. I am actually tired of vacation. No joke. JUST LET ME LIVE.

Anyhow! Let's do it! (Not it, it. This is NOT that kind of website.)



Oh REALLY, Katie Price? Slash wasn't your name Jordan before omg make up your mind. You're really going to wear a crown out of iPods and dress like the Tin Man turning tricks? WHY ARE YOU EVEN FAMOUS?


My reaction to these shoes (a reader sent in) was to wonder how painful it would be to saw this model's feet off. It would be worth it, wouldn't it?


Oh Lady Gaga!!!! I know you think you're a trendsetter in your beef bikini. TOO BAD that astute America's Next Top Model viewers like myself will note that this was done like, THREE seasons ago. See?


OH SNAP! That's Claire in meat undies! SOMEONE is a little slow on the uptake there, Gags. *yawn* Better luck shocking us next time.

Mwa ha ha.

PS, I feel like steak in your crotch is never the right way to go.


I'm not sure how well you can see this item, the site was crappy for screenshots. But it's a coat... with a pocket for your baby. Like a kangaroo. And look! She can EVEN close her trunk. Amazing.


So, when I was a teen I got Seventeen magazine and was always fascinated at prom time when they would feature the duct tape dresses. There would be creations like this, while low on taste in general, are amazing feats of sewing and crafting.


....and then there's people like me, who fail Home Ec.


Look ladies. I KNOW I preach against mom jeans on my blog. But there is a FINE LINE that you're walking. If can see undies and BOTH cheeks, your pants are officially too low, and you are embarrassing your baby. And he poops in his pants and barfs on himself like, daily.

Alrighty. I have super cool temps here, so my plans today include gallyvanting around town (with my children, believe it or not) wearing the leather jacket I bought in July. It's a big day, folks.

How to Pack a Suitcase

Aww, a week away from the blog makes me feel tired and frumpy. Does it have that same effect for you? But I went shopping and bought a blazer that completes my life, so I'm back in the game!

So I just got back from my latest trip to Canada. For those of you who don't know, I'm a Canuck living in the States (legally, I promise!) and I travel home to see my family as often as possible. Which means I pack and unpack my suitcase A LOT. This year I've gone to the Great White North three times and I have a fourth trip still planned. Now that my lovely Delta makes me pay for my own bags, I've learned to travel a lot lighter than I used to. No joke, one time I went home (when I was just a young lass, without children) and carried an entire bag separately for my shoes. In my defense, I used to go for much longer stays when I didn't have kids AND I just really felt the need to have 15 pairs on hand.

ANYHOW, I'm much better now. In fact, the time before last I packed me and both my kids in the same suitcase for an entire week. In all my travels, I've learned to pack lightly while still bringing stuff that looks awesome. So, if you're sneaking in one last trip before you're going to school, or you'll be traveling for Thanksgiving or Christmas travels, learn from my many mistakes and pack a fully fashionable and functional suitcase. Here's how:

1) Assemble your outfits beforehand. I am a firm believer in having choices while traveling, so you don't need to plan it down to the day. When I was a teen I would plan to the day, and I was a big nerd. Now I just make sure I know what goes with what. How do I do this? Rolling! I take the top and bottom for any given day and roll them up with the undies inside. Then, when I have to do a mad dash to get into my parent's ONE bathroom before one of my four brothers does, I don't have to hem and haw over what I wanted to wear with what. Easy peasy. Also, rolling makes everything fit so much nicer.

(An artfully packed suitcase. So neat and organized. Of course, after a trip mine just looks like my closet vomited into a small space, but on the way THERE, it's super neat.)

2) Pack dresses! Remember how I like to pack light? Dresses are the lightest thing you can bring because they are just one piece. Roll and DONE. Also, I think dresses work well for traveling because they look like you put in some effort when it was really easier than matching up jeans and a shirt. Also, I'm from Toronto and the humidity there is DEATHLY. Dresses saved my sanity since I could wear them comfortably in the heat.

(Add flats or wedges, a necklace and you have an outfit my friend! Dress by Beloved.)

3) Bring shoes with a purpose. As much as I'd love to pack 15 pairs and complete a full shoe showcase to all of my old friends, I no longer have the luxury of packing for just myself. That means I think long and hard about what shoes to bring. In general I bring one pair of heels, one pair of flats and a pair of boots (I fly in my Fryes so I don't have to pack them. OMG Fly in my Fryes, that rhymes. I'm a genius.) Anyhow, I used to bring both brown and black heels and brown and black flats, but now I usually plan to bring only one color and make sure that all of my outfits work. This last time I lugged up black flats, red heels and brown boots, and I had something to match everything I brought. I just pop them into the netting on the underside of the top portion of the suitcase.

(Black flats are skinny to pack and literally go with everything. Must pack!!)

4) Remember that when you're on a trip, your picture is going to be taken. A lot. As comfy as your Juicy sweats sound when lounging around with family, you do not want to be forever documented with words on your butt. At the very least, a cute tee, some jeans and earrings will make you look put together without having to drag your entire closet up. How cute are me and (3 of) my brothers this last time around?


(This is the night we all went out and did box karaoke. We also did a very awkward rendition of "My Humps." I don't want to talk about it.)

5) Speaking of jewelry, I got the best idea this last time around. Usually I shove it into the same gallon Ziplock bag that I keep my toothpaste in, and they undoubtedly end up tangled and smelling like mint. Now I have a four year old daughter, who also has all manner of accessories. This time I brought a Space Maker-type pencil box and dropped all of my earrings in. I wound necklaces around those fake credit cards that you get int he mail and clipped them with my daughter's flower hair clips. So awesome! When I got to Canada I didn't spend all of my time fishing out tangled necklaces and minty earrings.

(Seriously. Stroke of genius.)

If anyone has any other super awesome packing tips, I'd love to hear 'em. I have another trip in the beginning of December and I'll be bringing up Christmas presents and OMG I'm going to have an issue with high blood pressure just thinking about it.