Freaky Friday

Why does it feel like it's been like, 100 years since I did a Freaky Friday WHY? Probably because it has, which is amazing because I'm only 28 -- 29 after my birthaversary next month! But, until I become a mature 29-year-old, I can still make fun of ugly clothes and receive hate mail for it. My favorite!

 It's a crocheted prom dress! Because you have no friends and don't care who knows it.

 S. sent me this top and said it would be good for someone who wanted to get a little Friskies and I laughed and laughed because it's a cat. Oh S., you punny minx you. 

 You know how much I love subtle sexuality. Nipple cherries are one way to get there. 

 So remember those fairy dolls from when we were kids? And you'd pull the zip cord and they flew up in the air while spinning? Well, before my brothers ripped off her head and buried her in the backyard, I totally had one that looked just like this. Sweet childhood memories. 

 Aaaaaand this is why I hate capris. Look at those stumpy legs. LOOK AT THEM. Homegirl is like two-thirds torso. 

 Heather sent me these pants which might be the freakin' twee-est thing I've ever laid eyes on. Like, really collared milkmaid shirt, suspenders, mom jeans AND buttons? Heading off for our first day of 1978 kindergarten, are we?

 I am so glad that Andie was able to cut up that dress and go to the prom with Blaine aren't you? 

 Whoops wrong dress. 

Creepy dog sweater is watching you from around the corner.

I know every fashion blogger and their mother is like, vomiting rainbows over these culottes but 1) THEY'RE CULOTTES and 2) They look like a loincloth. 

BTDT Tarzan. 

Now that I've gotten that out of my system, I'm off to go test my kids' swimming lessons by taking them to the pool. I'm sure they're pretty much Michael Phelps by now. Happy Friday, guys!