How to: Find Your Style

A question I get a lot is how to figure out one's style and then how to make it work so one looks super awesome and hot all the time.

I mean, not in so many words, but that's basically the gist of that question.

Seriously, I think when you're clueless about fashion and style, the idea of heading into a store and looking through racks is actually torturous. You look at the cute people around you and feel intimidated by retail people and generally want to kill yourself. I know because I totally used to be one of those people. I mean, it was a long time ago and I've since recovered and maybe even overcompensated a little, but I feel your pain anyway.

If the idea of shopping makes your palms sweat and your gag reflex kick in, I can only deduce that you have one of two problems: 1) You aren't happy with your body. Or, 2) you don't know what you want.

Both problems suck. If it's the first, might I suggest you get over it immediately? I don't care if you're a size 2 or 20, you have the right to feel good about yourself and that's NOT going to happen in your husband's workout shorts and your ratty old band shirt, OK? And saying that you're not going to shop until you "lose weight" is just going to sabotage your efforts. Because you then feel crappy about yourself and don't feel like you deserve to look pretty and then eat your weight in Chick-Fil-A I KNOW, OK.

That felt good.

If it's the second option that has you running scared, might I suggest a few tips? Look, the average person is not so clueless that they need a complete What Not to Wear-esque wardrobe overhaul, OK? So that means you probably have a personal style tucked away there somewhere, you just need to find it. Get thee to thy closet! I promise you that you can find your style tucked among the comfort clothes stashed in there.

Take a minute to think about your daily activities and how you feel you need to dress. Look inside your closet and see what types of styles you're drawn to. Page through a magazine and see which celebs you love the most. Pull up Pinterest and click through outfits.

Chances are, you'll find a common thread in all of them. Whether you're into a low key cardi and jeans look or you're a sucker for leather (ahem) you can start to piece together a personal style. If that idea still terrifies you, let's start with some baby steps, k?

Accessories


(J. Crew)

Accessories are my favorite because they're cheap and not committal (if I were a funny female comic I'd be like "HA! Like my last boyfriend." But I'm married to my last boyfriend and that wouldn't be nice. ) You can try them out without having to feel bad because you dropped major dough on them. If you want to try out a new style -- say, easy but stylish -- buy a $5 scarf and try it out in a few different ways. If you love it, buy more. If not, give it to a friend and she'll love you.

Add Color


(Old Navy)

So, you're obsessed with a certain piece of clothing -- let's say maxi skirts. I love maxi skirts, but they can look really dowdy and Little House on the Prairie if you're not careful. But updating old faves with new colors, you can test the waters of a new trend (neon colors, hello!) without making a big deal about it. Two points if you wear maxis for casual wear!

New Shoes

(Zara)

New shoes are like getting a haircut or color. They just make you feel happy inside. Or at least, that's how I react and why my closet is so out of control. But seriously, you can try a new style on your feet, can't you? They take up like, 2 percent of your body so it shouldn't be that big of a deal. If you love a new trend, like animal print, try it first on your feet to see if you like it before you look for a bigger piece (I just ordered a snakeskin tank and I am d-y-i-n-g for it to get here!)

Cute Topper


(Tillys -OMG the studs!!!)

Guess what? I don't have $5000 for a new wardrobe and I bet you don't either. If you do, can we go splitsies? But seriously? Your style is probably already in your closet, it just needs to be seriously updated. Adding cute toppers like a boyfriend cardigan or a streamlined blazer can make your clothes look new and help you refine your style. Even if you tend to be a tee and jeans girl during the week, adding a blazer over that tee, a statement necklace and a pair of heels gives a whole new look for date night. Easy peezy, my friends. Easy peezy.

So what do you say? Are you willing to at least try to find your personal style? I'm totally not offended if you don't like Frye boots and sky high heels like me. Work with what you have and do some closet-tweaking and you'll probably find that you already have a foundation in place that works for you and your lifestyle.

And as an added bonus, I won't judge you as a mom jeans wearer.