How to Hide a Superhonkinginormous Zit.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
K, whatever. We all get them. Don't be bashful.
I will be the first to admit that my skin sucks. I have super combination skin that is half dry, half oily and super sensitive. (Thanks, redhead mom.) Because of this, nearly everything irritates my skin and I can only purchase products that declare SENSITIVE and FOR LITTLE BABIES LIKE YOU on the label. So I've had to learn to cope with my craptastic skin, and that means covering the zit that occurred as a result of my overzealous facial cream application.
The problem I always see when girls are trying to cover up zits is using WAY too much makeup. Instead of hiding the zit, it creates a neon sign that says "My skin is like a 14 year old boy's!" And we don't want that, do we?
Instead, we're going to use some corrective coloring and a soooooper light hand to hide the zit so you don't feel awkward or suggest that you eat somewhere with dim lighting. Unless you're in to that kind of thing.
Here we go. Let's do some role play and I'll walk you through this. You wake up in the morning because your neighbor's dog is barking outside of your window. Or in my case, the neighbor's chickens. Not barking, clucking. Barking would be weird. ANYWAY. You stumble to the bathroom and see that horror of horrors, you have a zit. CALM DOWN. It will be fine.
1) Shower or else you'll feel gross and greasy all day. Wash your face with a mild cleanser.
2) Moisturize. Use something light and allow it to completely absorb before you attempt anything else.
3) Use a green cream concealer and dot the product lightly over the zit. This will tame the redness so it's not so obvious. If you tend to apply too much makeup, use your ring finger or a small brush to lighten up.
4) Dot foundation over your face and place ONE DOT on the zit. ONE. Then blend with your fingertips to cover.
5) Use a brush with short, rounded bristles to apply powder. Instead of swirling the powder around your face, stipple. This is what will make your skin look normal rather than cakey around your zit. Otherwise you just have a weirdly textured bump on your skin and who wants that. Just dab at the area with your short brush until everything's blended and then finish applying powder to the rest of your face.
How easy was that? Five steps and your zit is gonzo. Or at least gonzo until you wash your makeup off at night. But then only your husband can see you, and I feel like after a certain amount of time, they just stop caring about your zits. Especially if you have boobs too. If your husband ever makes a comment about a zit, just say "May I direct your attention to my chest?"
Because boobs are the greatest concealer of all, my friends. See? I even made a diagram. Can you even tell I had a zit in this picture? No. You can barely tell that this picture was inexplicably taken in a pig pen. It's all been CONCEALED!
(PS I apologize to my brothers who sometimes read this blog. I don't think they ever wanted to see a Paint-altered photo of me in which my boobs are labeled. Family dinner will be awkward.)
4 comments:
So, the other day I was at my mom's house. I like to sneak into her make-up bag and put some on when I'm there. It ain't no thang. Anyway, I noticed she had this stick of what looked like lipstick but it was mint green colored. And I thought, "Oh, it's a minty chapstick!" And thank goodness I had the sense to read the label, because it most definitely was NOT minty chapstick, but green concealer. Ha.
Haha mmm minty concealer!! Sounds delicious and like on Mean Girls when they give her peppermint foot cream for her face.
I think its sweet that your brothers read your blog. My brother used to read mine - for like the first week - and then he got bored.
I used to have combination skin too. Here is what helps...Raw Apple Cider Vinegar. Something about it helps regulate the ph in your skin. You have to get the raw stuff with the "mother" in it. I use it as both a cleanser and a toner. For a cleanser I have a spray bottle where I mix a 1:1 ratio of water to ACV. I usually spritz it on a cotton ball and rub over my face like a toner until it's clean. And, that can take a lot of cotton balls if I've been wearing foundation. So, it's maybe not the best method, but most cleansers strip your skin of its natural oils, which makes your skin produce more oil, which results in breakouts. Most days I just use the toner, a 1:5 ratio, one part vinegar to 5 parts water. If I haven't worn foundation, I just use the toner, and that's enough. If my skin feels dry, I use a little coconut oil. I also use coconut oil to remove eye make up.
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