Prettying Up a Pony

...no, not an actual pony. Because why would I post about that?

Also, sorry for the lack of posting last week. I came home from Canada and went to the doctors for a cough, and whaddyaknow. I had pneumonia. Who gets pneumonia? Is this 1847? It was stupid. But I'm all better now!

No, I'm talking about the dreaded mom ponytail. Let me tell you, having a style blog is a lot of pressure. In the few times that someone has recognized me out and about, I panic and wonder if they go home and tell their friends that I was dressed sloppy or had spaghetti sauce on my shirt or *GASP* had my hair in a ponytail.

I'm not going to lie, I wear my hair in a pony at least one a week. But only once. And maybe on weekends. This is because I made a deal with myself that if I ever found myself wearing ponytails three days in a row, I had to cut my hair. And I am a strict mistress to myself. When I'm short on time and resign myself to a ponytail day, I at least try to ensure that there's something going on past the plain old droopy mom hair ponytail. Yes, I have THAT much pride and vanity. Also, I always run into people I don't want to at WalMart.

Ugh, is there anything worse than when you see someone at the store, chat for a minute and then say bye, and then meet up like, three aisles later? Well, yes, there is a lot worse. But that is still pretty bad.

But I digress. I won't hate on you if you have a ponytail. I understand you don't have time to do a full on blowout every day. But ponytails don't have to be shameful! They can actually be quite pretty and they don't have to take one moment longer than the traditional mom pony. Again, not an actual pony. I shouldn't have to keep saying this.

Anyway, I did my hair four times for your benefit today. My life is so hard. Also, after I was done I took my hair out and will not be wearing my hair in a ponytail because I am a hypocrite.



K, so this is a pretty common style for me. I just smooth my hair into a low pony, then I add a little hairspray into the actual pony to add texture. It's totally plain, but it looks put together and there is nary a scrunchie in sight. Please also note that I always wear dark brown hair elastics. You are not four. Put the hot pink elastics away. Use clear or hair-colored. You can also take a few strands of the pony and wrap it around the base of your ponytail and all of a sudden you look like you can do hair. Amazing!



I forgot how much I enjoy the buttons on that shirt. ANYWAY. If you're going to do a regular old ponytail, make it high and add some face-framing strands. Pulling your hair straight back can be kind of jarring, and the pieces look like I actually DID something even though this took me five seconds. I usually brush my hair into a high pony and then pull out the front strands before I put the elastic in. Then I can smooth out the top and secure it without messing up the front. I also might flat iron the front to make sure it looks sleek and not messy.



When in doubt, use accessories. They make a stupid old ponytail look like you actually spent time. I actually did a messy bun for this look. I remember my first day of high school, 14 years old, and I walked in the doors and a senior girl walked by whilst tying her hair into the perfect messy bun. I was so jealous. It took me YEARS to perfect the messy bun. YEARS. So I pulled my hair back into the bun and then folded a scarf into quarters. Once I tied it on, I messed up the back a little for the texture.



If you see me out and about with my hair like this, it's because my hair was not cooperating that day OR I didn't feel like washing it. The side pony just works with day-after-blowout hair. When you do a side pony, keep it low because this is not 1987. Secure the back along the nape of your neck so you don't have hair slipping out. Then I pull out a ton of pieces out front because I like the look to be messy and whateverish. Whateverish is totally a word by the way.

A few other notes:
-Keep bobby pins on hand. Yes, your husband will curse you every time he sucks up a bobby pin with the vacuum but it's still important. They are the fastest way to coax your hair back into shape after it goes crazy.
-Use other accessories like flowers, broaches, whatever, to make it seem like you actually care about your hair when you don't.
-Keep a bit of balm in your bag, especially if you're going to try on clothes. I HATE when my hair gets all staticky when trying on clothes. In a pinch, lip balm totally works on your hair.
-Earrings go a long way in making a ponytail look on-purpose. I'm wearing plain studs but seriously, almost any type of earring works with ponies. (NOT REAL PONIES OMG)

And, if your hair really isn't working, there's always your husband's hat.


Oh hat, how I love you. (Why am I staring romantically in the distance you ask? This is the day my Tahoe died in the rain and I sat in my husband's Jeep while he attempted to fix it on the side of the road. I am pondering the gladness that I feel that my hair isn't getting wet.)