Freaky Friday: Shoes (For the Love of All That is Holy, WHY!?)
Friday, October 1, 2010
Just so you know, I become personally offended when I see bad shoes. Like, WHY when there are so many adorable options would you defile your foot like that? Just go barefoot!
These are billed as wedding sneakers. I have seen a lot of wedding footwear in my time. Pretty colors, styles, I can even live with flip flops if that's what you really want. But you WILL NOT wear these Frankenstein boots, do you understand me?
OHHH!!! Double camel toe! ALL THE WAY!!! What does it mean??
(Please, please tell me you get that joke. Otherwise I'm afraid you're new to this whole "Internet" thing)
Look, I know I said that leopard was in this season. But when you turn it into a fugly oxford wit ha goldfish heel, somewhere along the way you're going to lose me.
These shoes are "recycled" because they're made with leftover pieces of broken furniture. YOU DON'T SAY!? I never would have noticed except for the cabinet leg on the heel. Just because something is recycled doesn't make it automatically hip. See "Goodwill."
I feel like if you have to conditioner, dry, brush and braid your boots before you head out the door, it's just a *smidgen* too much. PS This shoe looks like it had a Brazilian Blowout, amiright?
So my dearest sister in law is always on the lookout for bad footwear, and she sent me some courtesy of Burlington Coat Factory. That one on the left looks like a dirty camel.
So much going on for one shoe! The metallic... and the very large sequins....and the bunching at the back? You'd have to go naked to pull it off.
Ahhhh! This shoe is wearing a lace thong! I feel all sorts of dirty!
Now I need to go look at some pretty shoes to make up for this post. I will not buy... I will not buy... I will absolutely buy...
9 comments:
Oh this post was so funny! Haha! Nice work.... ah double rainbows guy....
Lmao at the double rainbow reference. God those shoes are horrid, heh.
Oh hey, the very next thing in my feed reader was this: http://www.toxel.com/inspiration/2010/09/30/14-stylish-and-creative-shoes/
Oh dear! I must have offended the blogging gods.. those shoes are brutal.
Except for the meat ones. Those don't scream e.coli AT ALL.
So I decided to sit down and eat a spicy tamale for lunch while perusing my blog feeds and saw yours. Needless to say, when I got to the cameltoe shoe and rainbow reference, I laughed so hard that spicy tamale went everywhere (including up the nose, which seriously has never happened to me). You are hysterically funny, woman! (And I will no longer eat lunch while reading your blog.)
I know, I know, you don't need any more awful shoes, but I just so happened to be writing up my own post about sundae shoes (no, that's not a typo, heh), and was linked to this:
http://ifshoescouldkill.com/
A whole site? Of course it's a cheezburger site, but if you've never seen it before, you'll probably want to kill me after you do, lol.
You'd have to go naked to pull it off!! hahaha, you crack me up. But it's oh so true!
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