Jae Tests the Trend: The Maxi Dress

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

SO last week my sister in law Facebooked me to see if I would come shopping with her for a maxi dress after seeing last week's post about spring trends. So we set off on Thursday to find a maxi dress with the following criteria: 1) Must fit over her lovely lady lumps. 2) Actually, that was it. Of course, while perusing the racks I found a few things for myself. It would be sacrilege otherwise. Anyway, I've heard people say things like "I'm short, I can't wear maxi dresses" or, "I'm a jeans a tee kind of girl." This Test the Trend is proof that maxi dresses are easy to wear, totally comfy, and a good change from the same old. (PS, people who don't try new things because it isn't 'them' totally grind on me, by the way. Uh, obviously if you never try anything different, it won't be you. It doesn't exempt you, it just makes you seem like an old stick in the mud.)

Anyhow, there are some right ways to do a maxi dress, okay ways, and oh so very wrong ways to do it.

Observe.


K, this is SO WRONG. We were in our friendly neighborhood Forever 21 and kept grabbing things that we THOUGHT were maxi dresses, but were really maxi pantsuits and horrendously scary. Here I am sacrificing myself YET AGAIN for you people, to show you just how crotch-tastic this thing is. So bad. And it had like, a triple leather belt for maximum drama. I felt very "Dallas" in this outfit. Also, we were laughing and making fun of it while taking my picture and got the stink-eye from the dressing room worker. K, JUST BECAUSE YOU WORK THERE DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE TO DEFEND THE CRAPPY STUFF THEY SELL OMG. Obviously, this was left hanging neatly in the dressing room, which was more than it deserved. Also, my sister in law sent me this picture saved as CROTCHMONGER.jpg, which was fitting. It gave me an EPIC front-bum.


So this is a "meh" way of doing the maxi dress. It's oooookay I guess. I love the color, but this is a little plain jane. It also can come off as a little jumperish, regardless of how cute the dress is. I won't judge you for this per se, but I will believe you can do better. Also, the sun streaming through the windows makes me look like I've died but come back to make pottery with my old girlfriend. Wait, that's Ghost. I had to take these pics on self timer, okay? My husband vehemently opposes being any part of this blog.


Much better. Remember how we talked about maxi dresses being pregnancy-inducing? And not in the I-wanna-be-pregnant way? A cinchy belt totally helps. Now, when it comes to wearing a shirt under something, or wearing a cardi over it, I always pick wearing something over it. It doesn't mess with the aesthetic so much and gives some dimension to the outfit. Now my 5'4" frame looks tall and statuesque, even tho "maxi dresses aren't for short people". Pshhh I say. Pshhh.


I was going to post this picture so you could again see the cinchy belt doing its job and making my waist looking tiny.... but I just wanted to show off my baby. Cute right? Clearly he is not concerned about making his waist look smaller.

Anyways, really, really DO try maxi dress this season. I think you'll find that its just as easy, if not easier than jeans and a t-shirt, and easy even for people who are fashion-challenged. IT'S ONE PIECE. If you don't think you can handle putting one piece on in the morning, then you probably shouldn't be operating a computer.

Except, still do, because I like having readers. Mmmkay. I'm sorry I called you challenged.

Touchy.

15 comments:

Debbiedoos said...

Love the color, and yes you did it right with the belt, it makes your waist look teenie tiny!~ Nice job!

mushbelly said...

Awesome. So glad you posted a picture of the maxi-pantsuit.

So...must I wear a belt with a maxi dress? That seems to take away from the oh-so-casual and easy-ness of the maxi dress. Which is the main reason I want one. It looks great with the belt, but I'm just wondering if the belt is a must.

Jae said...

Mush, no just choose a maxi dress that has a nice, defined waist. The one I bough had a waist that was too high, so it needed a belt. Does that make sense? The Old Navy ones have a tie right at the tiny part of the waist, so I would leave those belt-less.

Sara @ Our Best Bites said...

Okay Miss "see? if you use a belt it magically makes your waist look tiny" your waist IS tiny!! lol

IandS said...

I just bought a couple because I am so FREAKIN' pregnant that I can't even wear maternity clothes and be comfortable. I also fully intend to wear them after the baby comes and hopefully I'll have a teeny-tiny waist again quickly so I can wear a belt with it.

Sheriece said...

I would also like to note that, while the maxi-pants are incredibly horrible, you still look a thousand times better in them than Kim Kardashian. Just sayin'. http://gofugyourself.celebuzz.com/go_fug_yourself/2009/03/kim_karfuggian.html

And yes, even if you're -ahem- less tiny than Jae, you can still rock a maxi dress. I'm living proof. :D

Sheriece said...

Crap, the link got mangled. Here it is again, so loyal HNtDLaM fans can compare:

http://gofugyourself.celebuzz.com/go_fug_yourself/
2009/03/kim_karfuggian.html

(Sorry, you'll have to copy and paste it together.)

0 said...

Word verification for this comment? Foxatiz, which is *almost* 'foxtastic' which is what you are.
Ahem. Point: Maxi-dresses-for-mothers. Does it work? Will I trip over my dress the 20 billionth time I have to claw her off the bookshelf? Will she grab hold of it and pull it down, exposing my ta-ta's to the whole world?

I like maxi dresses in theory, because they are a dress, but do not require leg-shaving. But in practise, I feel like the cumbersomeness (totes a word, btw) would outweigh the advantage of not shaving.

0 said...

ALSO. I am ridic skinny. Like, I-look-a-bit-terminal skinny (it's not as much fun as it looks) and I am worried I will look like a corpse in a shroud who has escaped it's coffin, and I'm just not down with starting a Zombie panic.
Can I still wear a maxi dress, or will I just look stupid and should stick to something that does not emphasise my deathy-ness?

Jennifer Wells said...

holding a baby and typing with one hand w/ lights dim so that said baby will sleep

anyway

could you please advise on how to wear skirts in a casual, normal day kind of way?

thanks!!

Jae said...

Arainette, first of all, will you be my girlfriend?

Secondly, maxi dresses are SO good for moms. I am a wearer of short skirts, which means I am also a flasher of lady parts at the park. Maxi dresses fix that perfectly. Not to mention they make you look like an earthy hipster. So, extra points right there. And skinny minnies can definitely do these with some layering! Eat a big mac, please.

Jennifer, next week we'll talk capri alternatives and skirts are definitely on the list!

0 said...

First off, I will be everyones girlfriend. I'm good like that.
Secondly, good to know. I've been living in jeans for most of her life because all my pre-baby clothes are definitely not post-baby clothes, so the idea of my first official summer with a kidling is daunting. From a fashion perspective. Because obviously, that's my main concern.
Thirdly, trust me, I would eat them like it was going out of style if I wasn't too lazy to go to Mcdonalds every day. I had chinese take out last night. I eat so much junk, I'm just one of those terrible people with an insane metabolism (and a dairy allergy. Goodtimes.)
Thanks, loverrrr. Come payday I'm going out and making a maxi dress mine.

Jennifer Wells said...

"Jennifer, next week we'll talk capri alternatives and skirts are definitely on the list!"

Sorry, Arienette. Jae is now going out with me.

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