The Skinny on Dressing Skinny

Oh I am ever so clever with my titles! So, I admit it. I don't have the perfect body. I very much want one but no can do. For one, have no will power. I come from a long line of buy-exercise-videos -but-never-user-them types. In fact, I have Turbo Jam sitting on my T.V. right now. That Chalene is a mean lady. So just because of that, I likely won't be an infomercial success story (although I really, really love infomercials.) But it's totally okay, because I know how to dress skinny, even when I'm not feeling so skinny.

The basis of fashion in general is all about proportion; fooling the eye to make you seem like you have the ideal body type. More often than not, the hourglass shape is considered ideal, thank you Marilyn Monroe. Wouldn't it be awesome if everyone wanted a pear shape and was like "OMG have you seen my butt? It is so tiny. I hate my life." But alas, hourglass it is. The good thing about an hourglass shape is that it's pretty easy to replicate. I've got five outfits here that demonstrate five principles of making your clothes do the work that Turbo Jam tries to make you do. Ha! I've beaten the system!

Old Rule #1: Wearing All Black is Slimming.

Items in this set:
Heavenly Couture- White & Charcoal Pinstriped Tank, $15
Waterfall Twill Jacket - Jackets - New Look, 25 GBP
ASOS Leather Pointed Strapped Shoe, $37
Tracy Reese 'Tunisia' Medium Satchel Handbag, $30
Sequin Beaded Long Multi Strand Necklace, $98

New Rule #1: Monochromatic Color in General Will Make You Look Skinnier.

I see someone wearing all black and immediately think "INSECURE!" because someone, bless their hearts, gave the advice that all black is slimming, albeit very depressing. But you can achieve the same result with just about any color if you do similar shades all the way up and down. And then you can add punches of color in your accessories so it's not boring. Monochromatic works because it fools the eye into not seeing any breaks. You're just one tall drink of fashionable water.

Old Rule #2: Hiding in Bulky Clothes Makes You Look Thin

Items in this set:
Crochet Open Cardigan, $30
Popcorn Romance Tank - Teen Clothing by Wet Seal, $22
Gap Petite Womens Houndstooth Hip-Slung Pants, $30
Slouch Shoulder Bag, $33
Bonjour Eiffel Tower Earrings

New Rule #2: Long Accessories Can Thin You Out

How much do I love an open-front cardigan? They make me so happy. The point here is to choose long and drapey accessories over thick and bulky to draw the eye up and down your body. The scarf can help hide any imperfections, while the cardigan gives the illusion of height and a very tiny middle. Two extra points if you belt the entire thing to show off a tiny waist for a pretty much perfect hourglass.

Old Rule #3: Loose Jeans Hide Your Chubbies

Items in this set:
Old Navy Womens Belted Boyfriend Cardigans, $30
Old Navy Womens The Diva Demi Boot-Cut Jeans, $35
Women's shoes/bags: Nine West Barbe - Purple suede, $50
Quilted Stud Handbag, $25
Stone Set Beauty Ring, 16 GBP

New Rule #3: Closer Cut Clothes Hold Your Chubbies IN

Loose clothes make me sad, but so do uber-tight ones. The truth is, when you feel uncomfortable about your body, the last thing that you want is sausage casing pointing at your love handles. When in doubt, go a size up. A well fitting cardi with LONG bootcut jeans worn with decent heels = instant svelteness.

Old Rule #4: Patterns are Bad, Solids are Good

Items in this set:
BCBG Max Azria - Colorblock Top (Multi) - Apparel, $88
Cropped Shrug, $15
Black stripe wide leg trousers, 28 GBP
Women's shoes/bags: Two Lips Marilyn - Tan, $25
Moschino Borsa Tracolla 'Ruffle' Handbag, $75

New Rule #4: Color Blocking is Your Friend

Big, graphic swatches of color, especially in a diagonal or horizontal pattern are your friend. They conceal without being fuddy duddy or obvious. By the by, trouser pants are also super slimming. Find the kind with the large tab-top waist band and you will be in love forever, I promise. PS I totally pine for that red bag!

Old Rule #5: Flowy Dresses Hide Your Flaws

Items in this set:
French Connection Little Black Dress, 47 GBP
Ruffle Front Shift Dress, 60 GBP
Tatianna Halter Dress, $50
Bowtie, $50
Platform Pumps, $25

New Rule #5: Structured LBD's Make You Look Like a Hot Mama

If you're really looking for a good dress, chose one with tones of structure on the top. We're talking seaming and panels, whatever. Then choose the bottom for your body type. Pear shapes, go with fitted on the top and a-line on the bottom. Boy shapes, choose frilly goodness. And the center sheath is universally flattering. Add a really good pump and suddenly you have legs for days and are neatly tucked into a dress that puts everything where it needs to be.

Also, aside from the LBDs, check out the sizes on the bags. They are larger than your every day type. If I've said it once, I'll say it again; bags can make you look smaller. Choose a nice roomy one so you look polished AND skinny.

Remember that clothes are your friend. Instead of using them to hide your body, use them to enhance your body so it looks proportionate and you feel sex-ay.