Layering 101

Hahaha I accidentally typed in the title of this post as "Laying 101." Ummm that's for another website. Sorry creeps.

Ugh, sorry about the lack of posting yesterday, amigos. It was just one of those days when it straight up wasn't gonna happen. Oh, the joys of running a blog.

Anyway, I did get some great inspiration for my post when I woke up on Saturday morning. This is what I woke up to:

Yeah, that would be a massive amount of snow in the frozen tundra where I live. Also, my mittens.

Guys, I'm not prepared for full-on winter yet. Not to mention that where I live missed the memo on SEASONS. I went from running my air conditioner full blast to running the heater full bast and right now I'm writing this with a cat blanket on my lap. Not a blanket made from cats, just a blanket decorated with cats. My mom got it for me. I don't even know.

Anyway, thanks to the sudden arrival of winter, I had all of my summer and fall clothes out and in full rotation when it hit. And I don't feel like putting them away just yet, so it's pretty much the perfect time for layering.

One of the big secrets of looking put together is dimension. See, a t-shirt and sweats can only get you so far. When you start adding pieces together, that's when you actually find your style. So instead of throwing my cute summer dress to the back of the closet, I did this:


Yes, I know these are crappy cell phone pictures. Just go with it.
I threw my summery white dress over plain tights, cable knit socks (from my Halloween costume, natch) and added a blazer and a scarf. Totally fallish and warm, and I didn't have to reorganize my closet. WIN.

I know that serious layering can be confusing. It's hard to know what goes with what and all that business. The good news is that it's pretty easy and as long as you don't go overboard, you won't look like a bag lady. Unless you want to.

Observe!

Old navy cardigan, $25
Skinny jeans, $30
Oasis, $9
De Blossom boots, $45
Bracelet, $20
Free People long necklace, $38
Zara braided belt, $15

When layering with a cute cardigan like this one, a few things give the outfot more dimension. The first is allowing your clothes to have different lengths and levels. If the cami and the sweater were the same length, you'd lose some of the awesome interest here. Another fun thing to try is a belt over the sweater. It adds another layer of style and gives your waist more shape, especially when you're wearing bulkier layers like wool, etc. Finishing it with a tall riding boot makes the look warm without looking heavy. I would love this for shopping... but not Christmas shopping because it's only Nov. 10th, but thanks anyway Toys R Us.

Striped skirt, $16
We Love Colors red hosiery, $15
Allover Lace Tube Top-TUBES-Styles for Less Clothes Womens & Juniors..., $15
Stripe socks, $9.99
Camel shoes, $50
BCBGeneration metallic handbag, $50
Wet Seal feather jewelry, $13
Target:Xhilaration® Bomber Jacket - Assorted Colors, $40

Okay, I might have a serious crush on this outfit. Tights are back in this winter, which makes me so happy because I enjoy them quite a bit. They're just super versatile and can make a piece look totally different. Take this body-con striped skirt. It looks pretty vampy on it's own, but pair it with a casual bomber and some tights and it's totally everyday material. Also, knee socks over tights make me feel warm inside. It just adds another layer of dimension and adds length to your boots so your legs look super long and you look like you know what you're doing fashion-wise. 10 points if you also used your socks to dress up as the Sun Drop girl.

Miss Selfridge cotton jacket, £30
YMI faded jeans, $30
Fergie ballerina shoes, $40
Hobo tote bag, $26
Antique silver ring, $18
Mimco bow stud earrings, £30
Polka dot scarve, $28
Belt, $28

K, you don't have to wear boots all winter. That's just me because I live on a real-life mountainside. Seriously. A deer jumped into my car while I was driving home the other night and went in the house and chewed out my husband for making us live somewhere where deer run at cars. You know where I never hit a deer? Toronto.

Anyway, I digress. Flats are fine in the winter as long as you're not traipsing through the snow. I've done it and it's not pleasant. One of the easiest ways to look layered up is with a scarf. How crazypants adorable is this? I love that it's tied with a fluffy bow. Add a blazer as another layer and you're pretty much done. Alone, these pieces are fine. You could wear them and still look put together. But when worn together you've got way more dimension and interest, which should be the whole point of layering up your clothes.

Layering helps you extend your wardrobe. All of a sudden stuff looks new when worn in different ways. I usually wear my summer dress alone with my Fryes and maybe a cardigan. Adding tights, riding boots and a blazer and it's like "OMG I hate that Jae she buys new clothes all the time." And while I DO buy new clothes all the time, that dress isn't new.

So slap on some knee socks, grab a scarf and belt your cardigan and we can be friends.

Jae Tests the Trend: Colored Skinnies

Let me explain my thought process for buying my red skinnies.
1) "I really want some red pants. They are super cool."
2) "Am I too old for this?"
3) "Let me Google some pictures of people wearing red pants. Crap, they're all young celebrities."
4) "I should take a consensus on my Facebook page."
5) "OMG, they are all saying yes... maybe not so ridiculous?"
6) "I should just go look. To the store!"
7) "ZZZZZZZOMG these are amazing how did I ever live without them."

Seriously, these skinnies own my soul. Still, they're red for a reason. It's the closest color to a neutral that I could get. Their shape is perfect and they have an ideal length. If these were seafoam green and flared, I'd look like a psychopath.

Testing this trend made me think about looking trendy and fashionable in general. Probably the thing I hear the most when shopping with friends or recommending clothes to people is "I couldn't pull that off." It's also probably the phrase that annoys me the most. To me, it represents close-mindedness. Because most often, when I hear that phrase, it means you're not even going to try. And not trying is what lands you in yoga pants day after day.

Trends are tricky territory, especially after you've had a couple of kids and you're not ACTUALLY going to be 21 forever. It can be hard to decipher which trends are right for you and which ones should be left to the young, hip and childless set.

Still, there's no reason you shouldn't at least give it a shot. The trick to deciphering trends is to know your tastes and your body shape. I can usually look at a trend in the magazine and know right of the bat if it's something that will flatter me. For instance, trench coats - yes! Capes - no. I need definition around the waist, not at the shoulders.

That being said, there's not a lot in the world of trends that I won't try at least once. Usually it's just a matter of five minutes in a fitting room to decide whether or not a trend is for me. Whether it's peacock feathers, granny boots, dolman sleeves, jeggings or wide leg trousers, they've all had their moments for better or for worse.

I think what you really need to remember is that not everything is going to work on your body. But since you're probably alone in the fitting room, THAT'S OK. You don't have to have the body of a model to try something new. If you hate it, you only need to hand it back to whoever is working the fitting room and leave the store. That's it. No commitment whatsoever. You can handle that, right?

So if you see something in a magazine, on another woman or on a mannequin that you'd love to try, you literally have nothing to lose to give it a shot. If it looks great, hello confidence booster! If not, whatevs... on to the next.

Once you find things that work for your body type and that you love, look for ways to make them more "you." That's the true difference between someone who knows fashion and someone who is just a big fat trend whore. Anyone can buy expensive clothes that are "in," but you don't want to look like you just purchased a mannequin. Instead, find ways to work a new piece into outfits that you typically wear and all of a sudden, you're totally pulling it off. Take my red jeans for example. If I paired them with a graphic tee or something, the look wouldn't be me because that's not how I usually dress. Instead, I reached for a plain tee and my trusty leather jacket, which is practically my signature piece. Now I'm wearing a trend... the trend isn't wearing me.

Now, with that in mind, it doesn't mean you have to give every single trend a shot. I know there are some trends that I know likely won't look great on me and that I never even consider. Not that I can't "pull it off" (whatever the heck that means) I just know they won't be flattering. Like booties, for instance. I prefer a more streamlined look to the leg and I don't like the way they break up the calf. I have never been intrigued by them. But if I see a trend and like the way it looks, why wouldn't I give it a shot?

I just want you to know that perfect body, flawed body, pear-shape, apple-shape, you CAN participate in trends as long as you find ways to make them work for you. That could mean you reach for a graphic scarf instead of a flashy tee or participate in the feather trend by wearing earrings. You can totally embrace more color with a neon belt or printed shoes. Whatever the case, you don't need a complete wardrobe overhaul to look fashionable. Just a couple of key pieces each season and a super open mind.

Or me as a shopping partner. I'm super pushy and kind of mean won't take no for an answer.

Fashion Week Trends for Real People

I felt guilty for leaving you high and dry while I frolicked and became sunburned, so here's a fun Thursday post!

Fashion Week *just* ended, which means my US Weekly iPhone app has been cluttered with stories like "Lindsay Lohan causes scene at fashion show" and "Kristen Stewart sits next to Kate Moss at Mulberry" and "I DON'T CARE."

Seriously, I know Fashion Week is like, basically mecca for the industry, but I don't want to know about famous people who sat on the sidelines and watched. And can we talk about how ridiculous most of the fashion is anyway? Like you really have room in your wallet and your closet for a feathered jacket? Fashion Week is really for the 2 percent of the human population who actually have $2,000 to spend on bejeweled pasties. (Gwyneth Paltrow, I'm lookin' at you.)

However, since most of the trends in the next six months with come as a direct result of stuff shown on unrealistic NYC catwalks, I can do my best to decode so you can still be in style, even if you don't survive on a diet of coffee, cigarettes and self importance like the rest of the fashion industry.

1) Pink and Navy

Star by Julien Macdonald shell top, £32
Abercrombie & Fitch vintage style jeans, $48
ALDO ballet flat shoes, $30
Call it SPRING shoulder bag, $45
Worthington sparkle jewelry, $9.99
Dorothy Perkins viscose shawl, £12

I am actually super in love with this color combo. To the point that pale pink and navy were my wedding colors. It's fresh and preppy without being too prim. I especially love it in bold prints; stripes, plaid, dots, etc. I just bought a striped pink and navy shirt and I cannot wait to wear it. When trying this out, remember that it's supposed to look classic and refined. Dark navies and blush pink is best, since bright blue and pink will look juvenile. Wearing a Hypercolor shirt with ratty jeans won't make this work. Pearls? Yes.

2) Plaid

Hollister Co embroidered shirt, $50
Ganni mini skirt, €120
Wet Seal flat slouch boots, $28
Forever21 antique handbag, $33
Linea Pelle leather wrap bracelet, $40
Gathering Eye feather earrings, $20
Tan belt, £20

Chunky plaid is back and I am so excited. There's just something about a cute, girl-next-door style that I totally gravitate towards. New plaid is more girly, so leave your jeans and cowboy boots for the honky tonk. (Seriously, going to a real, live honky tonk is totally on my bucket list. I want to dance in my cowboy boots while listening to Sweet Home Alabama, please!) Pairing plaid with skirts is super cute and fall appropriate. Boots are still OK, just look for some with less Western styling. And leather! Lots of leather!

3) Lace Anything

Chiffon top, $20
Agent Ninetynine striped tank, $30
Hydraulic faded jeans, $43
Not rated shoes, $45
Dorothy Perkins navy handbag, £25
Manumit brass jewelry, £12
Dorothy Perkins zebra print jewelry, £7.50

Lace is huuuuuge right now, but not in the way you think. Lace automatically conjures images of doilies and girliness and grandmas, so it's exciting to see lace with a harder edge. This for date night with the hubby? It's baby makin' time! Throw on a leather jacket and you're all set. Look for lace in unexpected places, like cardigans, tights and accessories. It's major. I want this outfit immediately.

4) Mustard and Gray

H by Henry Holland ruffle top, £15
Dorothy Perkins pleated skirt, £25
2 Lips Too stiletto heels, $50
Quilted handbag, $18
VIcenza stackable ring, £8
Drop earrings, $9.80
Zara belt, $7.90

...or is it grey? It doesn't matter, it's just pretty. I love this dress up look because it's polished without being totally yawn-worthy. It still has enough color to make it clear that you know your stuff. If you're going to do two colors as a theme, make sure to throw something else in there for interest. A pop of red makes the look less matchy matchy. And the shoes? Please. I die. I want to become a secretary at a 50s law firm.

Remember. Just because celebs were glued to Fashion Week doesn't mean you have to. Trying to decipher what the heck designers are getting at gives me a headache. How does trash bag couture translate to the real world? It doesn't. But there are a few gems in there, so it shouldn't be too hard to freshen up for for fall. Oh fall... jackets! Tights! Closed-toe pumps! I can hardly stand it.

Pattern Mixing for Beginners

I will preface this post by saying this look is NOT for everyone. If you're still learning that pleats on pants are weird, this is probably a little advanced for you. HOWEVER, if you're moderately fashion savvy and want to look up-to-date, you can totally handle this.

I'm talking about pattern mixing, people.

Once upon a time, mixing patterns was scary and unknown, like Mars. Did I ever tell you I'm really scared of aliens? One time my husband was off camping and I was home alone watching a 20/20 special about aliens and I swear I cried myself to sleep. That was a classic Jae tangent. Back to the topic at hand. Ah, yes. Pattern mixing need not make you cry yourself to sleep. As long as it's done properly, it can look totally current and subsequently make you look like you know everything about fashion ever and then be the envy of playgroup.

When wearing two patterns together, the most basic rule is this: At least one MUST be a graphic print. This is because two wishy waashy prints, say, floral and paisley, are going to make you look like a crazy hippy slash Laura Ingalls lookalike. So long as you have a graphic print, such as a dot, stripe, zig-zag, whatever, you can make this work.

Once you've chosen your graphic print, you can choose your coordinating print. This can be anything, but be warned. The crazier the print, the more vital you stay within the same color family as your graphic print. So, stripes and florals can totally work so long as they are monochoromatic, whereas choosing two graphic prints lets you go crazy with the colors and I won't judge.

So, after you've chosen your two patterns (ONLY TWO, PEOPLE) you can then add accessories. It's vital that your accessories act as anchor pieces, so please for the love of all that is holy choose neutrals. Anything else is insane. Like, Bjork at Fashion Week insane. Please don't.

I feel like some examples are in order.

Dot dress
$35 - delias.com

Red Herring stripe tee
£10 - debenhams.com

Long sleeve top
£30 - houseoffraser.co.uk

Floral print skirt
£10 - axparis.co.uk

BC Footwear metallic shoes
$45 - nordstrom.com

Old Navy heeled sandals
$33 - oldnavy.gap.com

Tan handbag
$30 - amazon.com

Hurley bag
$40 - tillys.com

Bow jewelry
$7.99 - tillys.com

Marc by Marc Jacobs lock jewelry
$30 - ssense.com

Wet Seal hoop earrings
$11 - wetseal.com

All Saints striped scarve
$43 - allsaints.com

Here I have two examples of supercute pattern mixing. Notice how the first has a graphic and a more traditional print? See how they're both coral? Happy times! It's totally cute and fashion forward and springy. Now can you imagine the tragedy that would have been colored accessories? TOO matchy: you just want to look coordinated. The nude in the accessories acts as the anchor that keeps this outfit from sailing into Crazytown harbor.

The second look I had more to play with as far as colors because dots and stripes are both graphic prints. They can look a little more bold since there's less for the eye to take in. Plus, polka dots are adorable and make me want to eat my arm from the sheer cuteness. Still, you'll notice that the accessories are fairly neutral to keep everything together.

So do you feel like pattern mixing is something you can do or are you like Jae, you're Crazytown's resident crazy person? Although I will say, as always, if you think you "can't pull it off" then you probably can't. Because you'll try it and feel awkward and then LOOK awkward and that'll be the end of it. But if you want to give it a shot and work it and be confident, it's probably going to work for you.

Remember that it's just fashion. Email me if there's any other trends you want to try but don't know how. So long as it's not droopy crotch pants or jumpsuits (shudder), we can make it work.

Attack of the Mom Bum!

I'd be lying if I said I didn't get the inspiration for this post while at the pool. So thank you, ill-fitting swimsuit wearers of the world!

I always say I'd like to write a book for what REALLY to expect after your pregnancies. Like, after all of the baby care business and all that, I'd like to write something that had two chapters dedicated to the following subjects:

1) Your bum will never look the same.

2) Trampolines will make you pee.

Instant bestseller right?

But seriously, what is it about pregnancy that is a total bum ruiner? It's like you lose all this baby weight and are rewarded with a pancake for a butt. It's depressing and droopy and it makes me sad. While I can't do anything about the state of your actual butt, I do know how to make it look perky and young in a really good pair of jeans.

On the bright side, a pancake bum is usually skinny and it means you've done an awesome job at losing the baby weight and you should be proud of that. So definitely look for clothes that show off your awesomeness and makes Sir Mix-a-Lot swoon. Speaking of which, did I ever tell you about the time I was grooving to Baby Got Back at full blast and my father in law came down to talk to me about something? I couldn't concentrate on what he was saying because I was trying to detract from hearing all about Sir Mix-a-Lot's anaconda. It was embarrassing.

ANYWAY, I'll give you some ideas on how to fight the evil attack of the mom bum!

Jane Norman bohemian style top, £30
Old navy, $40
Not Rated beach sandals, $50
Clutch bag, $25
Zara feather jewelry, $9.90

Trousers are the BEST when your bum lacks overall volume and shape. The fact that they're a bit higher waisted gives you the illusion of a rounder bum. Low rise jeans are not your friend and also, you're not 16. Trousers also hug your bum and then usually fall straight to the ground, so you see the best part and everything is camouflaged. YAY! Look for tab pockets that sit higher in the tush to detract from a lengthy bum. I bet you never thought you'd be worrying about your lengthy bum, but there it is. Also, adding definition at the waist and then wearing a shirt that offers a little coverage makes everything look super balanced. Plus, I love the 70s and wish I could dress like Farrah Fawcett every day. You can too!

Black top, $23
Shirt top, $15
Linen skirt, £18
Betsey Johnson crystal earrings, $35
Waist belt, £15
Canvas bow jute wedge, $30

When wearing skirts and dresses, a-line is your friends. While I totally have no problem with anyone wearing a great pencil skirt, you might be self-conscious about putting so much of the goods on display. If you want to try a pencil skirt, I recommend doing one with a cardigan for some coverage. Otherwise, a supercute flirty a-line floats away from the body, making your waist look teensy and your butt less of the main event and more of a supporting factor. Awesome if you're looking for more modesty.

Rue21, $30
Hollister co, $50
Old navy shoes, $3.50
Satchel bag, $45
Beading necklace, $15

The pockets on your jeans are going to make a huge difference in how your butt looks in pants. Always, always, always look at your butt when trying jeans on. Always look for pockets that are in proportion with the caboose. Tiny pockets are going to look ridiculous on this large, flat expanse of fabric. If you really want to get extra credit, look for flap pockets or rhinestones to round out the back a little more fully. These jeans are especially helpful because of the fading. They'll make everything look perkier, but BE CAREFUL. Too much fading can be trashy and gross. I want this outfit immediately.

Now this is where I should wax poetic about how my kids have changed my body and how they were worth everything but sometimes it's like THANKS A LOT, GO TO BED. While I'm big on self-love, I'm also big on recognizing flaws and knowing how to dress them so yo feel more confident. Mom bum doesn't have to be a life sentence. Some cute jeans and you'll have a moneymaker that makes you look like, one of those rap guys girlfriends.

Even white boys have to shout.

Summer Neon Love

Is it any wonder that I'm totally obsessed with wearing neon right now? It's finally warmed up and I get to dress more casually. Add that to the fact that EVERY store is carrying these awesome neons and you have a recipe for a classic Jae obsession.

Here's the problem though. Neons can look reallllly teeny bopper if you aren't careful. Seriously, I have a full on seizure every time I go into Wet Seal or something and it's wall to wall neon colors. It's basically a rave in there. So to avoid looking like you do ecstasy or are 12 or heaven forbid, BOTH, you really need to temper your neon for more grown uppedness. Here's some ideas.

Short sleeve cardigan, $45
Racer back tank top, $20
TOMS canvas flat shoes, $44
TopShop crossbody handbag, $45
Dorothy Perkins beading jewelry, 8.50 GBP
Zara belt, $16

Wearing neon with a neutral reallllly helps to tone down the brightness and the youth of the colors. I especially love neon with gray because it's not as stark and 80s aerobic clothing-like as wearing neon with black. When paired with uber-casual clothes, a neon shirt doesn't look so crazypersonshocking. ALSO! I know that some people hate TOMS. But please, how adorable are they with denim bermudas? I love.

Old Navy lightweight pants, $15
H&M flip flop shoes, 2.99 GBP
Rue21 bow handbag, $17
Rachel leigh jewelry, $50
Dorothy Perkins beading jewelry, 9.50 GBP
Rebel Yell Surf Athletic Raw Football Tee in Neon Pink, $73

My personal preference when wearing neons is to team them up with super crisp whites. I bought a psychotically bright orange shirt while on my Memorial Day shopping spree and I wore it with my white cargos that I never can match to anything. It was bright, crisp and a little boho without being completely overbearing. One of the other awesome things about doing neons, especially for casual wear, is that all neons match each other, so it really doesn't matter what colors you wear together. I recommend going with more monochromatic colors if you want to be ever taken seriously. While the nine year old in me would LOVE to wear neon orange and neon green together, I usually stick with pink, coral and orange together so as not to terrify the general public.

Scoop neck tank, 10 GBP
Old Navy khaki skirt, $23
Zara platform sandals, $100
River Island shoulder handbag, 37 GBP
Peacock necklace, 7 GBP
TopShop wrap ring, $20
MAC Nail Lacquer, $14
MAC Nail Lacquer, $14
MAC Nail Lacquer, $14

Finally, you can make a statement without actually wearing neon yellow pants. Just use neons in your accessories. Are these shoes not AMAZING? They made me die a little. Adding a necklace, a ring, some bright nails, they all work well IF the actual outfit is otherwise demure. Perfect for khaki and white. Scary on neon clothes.


The trick is always balance. If you want to wear neon in your clothes, choose one piece and keep the rest neutral. As accessories, everything is fair game so long as the outfit is subdued.

Now to figure out how to explain to my husband my insatiable need for neon shoes.

Upping the Ante for Spring Shopping

Now is about the time every year that I get stuck in a rut, fashion-wise. Something about the doom and gloom weather and the craziness of my kids makes me want to hide in my room wearing my husband's sweatpants and that free shirt I got from work. This is when I have to work the hardest to put myself together and get going! Since I have a strict "no staying at home all day rule" it means I usually have to, at the very least, put on pants. So it's time to try a few new things.

I have to admit, I get annoyed when I hear someone say, "I couldn't pull that off," after viewing a style or trend. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? I contest that there's always some element of style that you can incorporate into your current wardrobe so that it looks up to day without you looking like a trend whore.

By taking your cues from a handful of trends, it's a good way to add new pieces to your wardrobe without spending a ton of cash while making things look new and different. Observe:

Something girly:

(Charlotte Russe)

Girly pieces look best when paired with decidedly ungirly clothes. I would pair these with my favorite gray pencil skirt and a structured shirt and cardigan a la Mad Men. If you pair with girly things, it's a tad too sweet... like a Fun Dip. Mmmm Fun Dips. But Fun Dips always give me canker sores. What I'm saying here is that too much girliness is not a good thing. Look for pale, ballerina-esque colors and ruffles. When I went on a search for ruffled things there was WAY too many I wanted to buy. My husband will not be impressed.

Something sexy:


(Alloy)
It hurts my heart when a woman doesn't own anything that helps her to feel smokin' hot. The problem is that sexy is usually perceived to be skin tight and that is no bueno when you're battling post-baby bulge and that Chocolate Cream Pie Shake you had yesterday (Which I learned has 700 calories AFTER I consumed one in like, 3 seconds. Kill me.) Instead, look for form-fitting, with details that make you feel more comfortable. Ruching around the waist? Check. Bouse-y sleeves that hide heavier arms? Check. Deep v-neck so your hubby's eyes pop out of his head like he's a cartoon character (A-wooo-ga!)? Check and check. Can you imagine this with a pair of bootcut jeans and heels? Simple but hot.

Something biker or rocker inspired:


(Delias)
My love for a good biker jacket is well documented. I have five. I just think they make bodies look insane with the seaming and the higher neck. Awesome. Buy one. If you already have a biker jacket, look for other biker/rocker wear to add to girlier pieces. Studded shoes, a leather bracelet, whatever. I like that rock-inspired pieces add immediate texture to whatever I'm wearing. Jeans and boots are just meh, but then I add a corded necklace and everything is tied together.

Something fancy:


(F21)
I love things that look substantial and expensive without costing a ton. This little baby is $5 and I WILL HAVE IT. You should have something equally ornate and expensive in your wardrobe or jewelry box. It's awesome to dress up an otherwise plain outfit. I have a brown wrap dress that I adore but is hard to accessorize. This would be perfect because it lends a pop of color and all I'd need is a pair of stud earrings to finish things off. Plus, aqua blue is awesome on everyone.

Something bright:


(Delias)
It's spring, people! Time to shuck the gray, brown and black for something that doesn't make you feel like a sad emo kid. A super bright piece can anchor a whole outfit. Even if you're wearing the same slacks and flats you always do, add something bright near your face and you're guaranteed compliments. I love the idea of this belted with a brown leather belt too, so it's not so shapeless. Either way, it's a adorable, hence your adorableness while wearing it.

K, so do you have your lists ready. I'm going to have Tim Gunn moment and tell you to make it work. The next time you see a celeb wearing a trend you'd love to try, find a way to do it on a small scale and I promise you'll be able to "pull it off." By updating a few key pieces in your wardrobe you automatically update just about everything else. Super easy and affordable. I wish I could take everyone shopping!

Unless you were excited about Gaga dressing in an egg. With an oxygen tank. That is neither safe nor attractive. I would have been more impressed if someone literally gave birth to her on stage.

Oh no... I'm giving her ideas.

A Lesson on Fit and Proportion

Every time I pick up any women's magazine (I currently receive Glamour, InStyle and for inexplicable reasons Women's Health omg I have a magazine addiction) there's undoubtedly an article about "The Best Jeans for Your Butt!" or "Swimsuits for Your Shape!". In the pages therein you'll find pictures of women dressed poorly before and looking fab after, with the help of better clothes and a virtual army of hair and makeup people.

Yet, every month, the same cover stories. Why? Because no one really *gets* it. Picking out an outfit and dressing yourself need not be a project for Cosmopolitan. Instead, it makes things easier when you realize that all of looking good in your clothes boils down to one thing: PROPORTION.

Now, first off, it should be said that an hourglass shape is the holy grail of body shapes. That's what you're going for. While other shapes are very lovely, an hourglass shape is the most proportionate. An hourglass shape occurs when you have a waist that is smaller than your chest and hips, which are proportionate to each other.

Bummer, right? We don't all have the vampy ladylike body of Marilyn Monroe. BUT!! We can totally fake it. Learn how to balance your proportions, and you'll be able to pick out an outfit and most importantly, work it. Suuuuper easy.

First you'll need to look in the mirror. Or measure yourself. Either way, you need to know your body shape. There's five basic shapes.

Hourglass: We covered this already. Were you even paying attention? If you've got an hourglass shape, you need to do everything in your power to show off that tiny waist. Belts are your best friends, as are wrap dresses and fitted shirts. DON'T put it all on display. You may have a lovely body, but pick one feature to show off. Boobs, legs, waist, whatever. You don't need too small, too tight, too revealing. It's gross.

Theme Rayon-Blend Slub-Jersey Wrap Dress, $62
Casual Trench, 20 GBP
Heels|Shoes:Stiletto Heel,Heel Pump,Women's High Heel Shoes,Spool..., $17
Lucky Brand 'Large' Printed Canvas Shopper, $39
Metal Flower Headband, 8 GBP

Pear: A pear shape has a smaller chest and waist with larger hips. I know, I feel for you. This means that to look better, you need to balance the largeness of your badonkadonk with your chest. The best way to do this? Layers! Oh how I love fall because it mans I can bring out delicious jackets and sweaters and blazers again. These will add bulk up top so your body looks balanced. You may want to avoid things that are heavily belted because it will show clear definition where your generous hips begin. Keep the focus up top. Stay away from skinny jeans. It's just not gonna happen. Bootcut for you, baby.

Pilot : Cap Sleeve Knitted Shrug, 10 GBP
Petite vertical denims Navy, 16 GBP
Pointed Studded Ballerina, 15 GBP
Studded Flower Hobo Handbag: Clothing, $47
Betsey Johnson - Betsey Paris Fluer de Lis Studs (Brass Ox) - Jewelry, $31
Striped cotton scarf, $45
Utility Belted Blazer - Best Sellers - tops & basics - Vanity, $30

Apple: If you've an apple, your hips and waist are similar in size, and your chest is smaller (darn small chests) Apples need to create a clear definition between what is waist and what is hip, so choose dresses with three distinct parts: bodice, waist, skirt. This will break up your body so it doesn't all come together in the middle. Tummy controlling jeans are your friends, as are empire waists. They'll make your waist look longer without calling attention to trouble areas.

Exclusive Red Big Sleeve Dress**, 45 GBP
Faux Suede Heel Boot - Teen Clothing by Wet Seal, $10
All Over Sequin Bow Metallics Clutch, 30 GBP
Carolee Double Drop Cognac Earrings - Max and Chloe, $38
Stone Stack Ring, $18

(PS, I could not love a human baby as much as I love this dress)

Inverted Triangle: Got a big rack and a tiny waist and no bum? You are an inverted triangle, my friend! That means you need to do what you can to balance out your top half with the bottom. You need to add volume around your hips with fuller skirts and embellishment. Shirts that end right at the hips can make them look more proportionate as well. Look for jeans with flap pockets to add a little bulk around the bum.

Roll Sleeve Burnout Top - Teen Clothing by Wet Seal, $17
A-line Woven Skirt, $20
Nicole Magical flower ballet flats in burnt orange, $73
Ted Baker 'Poppy Print' Hobo, $47
Kingdom Gold Holy Cross Key Necklace, $28
Gold Knotted Chain Belt, 20 GBP

Ruler: Oh, rulers. You are straight up and down with no curves at all. On the plus side? You look so good in skinny jeans. On the down side, you can look boyish if you're not careful. Belt things to create a waist, and look for tops with a clear emphasis or embellishment at the waist. Look for feminine detailing, like frills and sequins that girly up your boyish shape. Stay away from anything too column-like unless you're willing to belt as well. Breaking up your silhouette will fool the eye into thinking your have kickin' curves.

BKE Braided Cardigan Sweater, $48
FULL TILT Lace Rose Womens Tank, $15
AE Women's Skinny Jeans, $50
Black Faux Leather Pointed Toe Knee Hight Boot, $25
Woven Hobo Handbag: Clothing, $47
Peacock Feather Earrings, $13
Double wrap stud & punchout belt Black, 20 GBP


No matter what your shape, as long as you remember that you're always trying to achieve that hourglass shape, it can give you a little more direction in dressing and accessorizing. And it proves that even if you don't have model thin hips and porn star boobs, you can make it work (Is anyone else watching Project Runway? omg I love Tim Gunn.)

Literally.

If you know me in real life, you know that "literally" is probably one of my favorite words. So much do I love it, that my brothers made fun of me all Christmas break by saying "figuratively" after every made up sentence to combat my love for the word. As in:

Me: This snow is making blind.
Brother: Figuratively.
Me; K, YES I GET IT.

Anyhow, one big pet peeve of mine when it comes to fashion, is when a new trend is introduced. You love it. You want to be cool, right? So you go and purchase every piece of clothing that matches and wear them altogether like the runway exploded on you.

Very, very bad.

Trends should NOT be taken literally. Even when the models are dressed quasi-comically in a collection, that doesn't mean that's how you should wear it in real life. Most collections are completely exaggerated, and to make it work, you take one or two pieces instead of doing the whole shebang.

Here I'll look over the trends. SEE if you can spot the literal translation.

Just kidding, I'll totally tell because I like to hear myself talk. Er... type. Hopefully you'll note that the outfits to the left are the literal way of doing the trend, and the right is something that's a better choice.

Abandon Hitch Cardigan | Abandon Knitwear @ USC, 15 GBP
Ruffled Polka Dot Knit Top, $18
7580 Skinny Jean - American Eagle Outfitters, $30
AE Women's Artist Jeans (Bright Medium), $40
FRYE Women's Harness 12R Boot: Frye: Shoes, $168
Forever21.com - New Arrivals - 1062767024, $5.80

Okay, so you know I love a western trend like I love my mother. And the Fryes pictured are the ones I own AND THEY ARE ON SALE. Such a good investment if you have it. But I really dislike when people head out looking like actual cowboys when there isn't a horse nor cow in sight. At the most, pick two trendy items to wear together. Instead of the hat and the boots and the buckle, go for a worn boot and a plaid, non-cowboy shirt, or pair the belt with a cardigan. I like darker denim too, so it doesn't look so corn-pokey.

AE Women's Camp Shirt (White), $35
MIA Women's Cristina Wedge Sandal: Shoes, $49
Pocket-Front Shoulder Bag, $35
OMYGOD Swarovski Crystal Dog Tag Pendant, 17 GBP
Camo Cargo Short, $23
Gap French terry camo hat, $11

I love camo because it looks so masculine, but can be cut in feminine ways so there's an interesting juxtaposition of both. But wearing a lot of camo can look gross and boyish, OR super redneck. The best way to do camo is to pair it with something crisp and structured, like a really good button up... or button down? Tomato, Tomahto. Anyways, feminizing it with heels or wedges makes it a definitive fashion statement instead of looking like you borrowed your hubby's shorts. And finally, adding a punch of color to brighten up the neutrals will help with the blah feeling.

Smocked Waist Ruffle Top - Women's Clothing and Apparel - Chic..., $39
Heidi Panel Jacket, 110 AUD
Jesiré Bow Front Twill Skirt, Grey, 16, 75 GBP
Fuchsia Faux Suede Semi Pointy Studded Pump Heels clipped by salvsnena, $29
Amazon.com: SR SQUARED by Sondra Roberts Beach Day Button Clutch: bag..., $35
Sterling Silver Cubic Zirconia Interlocking Teardrop Post Earrings:..., $22
Fossil - Braided O Ring (Black) - Accessories, $44
VELVET BOW ANYWHERE CLIP, $40

So, I love bows. My husband and I once engaged in a heated discussion because I purchased leather hair bows and he wondered if they were for our daughter. Obviously he didn't GET my vision. But bows can be taken very literally and worn with a girly outfit, making it look twee and childish. When you wear something as feminine or girly as a bow, it helps to harden it with leather or a more rock and roll look. The gray skirt picture has a bow at the waist and could look totally ballerina, but when paired with a leather jacket and studded heels, it gets an instant update.

So, if you see something that you like in the shop window or on TV, remember not to take trends to literally. I mean, if the trend is "peasant", you don't ACTUALLY have to dress like a peasant. That would be weird and make people uncomfortable. Choose pieces here and there, and then BALANCE them with contrasting pieces to make a fashion-forward and non-crazyperson outfit.

Spring Trends and How to Wear 'Em

Spring trends can sometimes be confusing. For one, they are often ridiculous. Like, hey, this spring everyone is wearing pink from head to toe, or "Orange is the new black!". The other problem with spring trends is that when embracing them, people sometimes get a little... enthusiastic. Like, "Oh, polka dots are the biggest trend this spring? THEN I SHALL WEAR POLKA DOTS EVER DAY!" Being a slave to trends is not cute.

On the other hand, ignoring trends completely and wearing the same thing season after season is boring. So I like to find the middle ground, and let trends influence my style choices without looking like a crazy person.

This spring, there's been a ton of maxi dresses, camo-inspired military gear, and of course, floral. All of these have the potential to go horribly, horribly wrong if you go crazy with it. But in small doses, all are super cute.

Observe.

Maxi Dresses

Items in this set:
Old Navy Womens Surplice Drawstring Maxi Dresses, $30
Women's AE Classic Denim Jacket, $16
Kustom Charlie Sandal, $28
BILLABONG Skin Deep Handbag, $49
Via Nativa + Aros Reclaimed Wood Earrings, $25

Maxi dresses were big last summer, but they are going to get even more popular this summer because they've been mainstreamed (OMG that's actually a word.) The problem I most have is with maxi dresses is this. They have the potential to make you look pregnant. Adorable if you are, sad if you are not. While most maxi dresses are pretty flowy and casual, look for one with a defined waist line, and wear something trim over top. I love this jean jacket, dress combo for every day. How cute would this be running errands?

Items in this set:
Digital Print Maxi Dress, 21 GBP
Banded Collar Hacci Shrug, $12
Monsoon Accessorize - Round Stud Gladiator Sandals, 25 GBP
Phantasya Line - Swarovski Crystal Bar Drop Pendant Necklace -..., $98
Women’s Jewelry: necklaces, earrings, rings, bracelets, brooches and..., $45

Also, the maxi dress doesn't always have to be super casual. Ditch the All-American Girl jacket and replace a few accessories and you can totally wear it for a girl's night or on a date. Just choose a maxi dress with a graphic pattern and let it be the star of the show. Also, the belt on this baby makes for a teensy waist.

Florals

Items in this set:
Spring Woven Floral Top, $25
PARIS BLUES Embroidered Back Womens Bootcut Jeans, $35
Forever21.com - Shoes - Casual - 2074956363, $23
Dakine - Nina (Candy Stripe) - Bags and Luggage, $36
Lacie's Silver Daisy Cuff Bracelet, $40

Florals for spring can be horrible and cliche. But doing florals in a new way is fresh and not so scary Laura Ashley. Instead of wandering around looking like an Easter egg in pastels, do florals in a different color palette. The coral color of this shirt looks cute and vintage instead of Easter egg-hunty. The shirt's empire waist will help to hide any mummy tummy. The dark jeans make the look a little more serious. I actually covet this outfit quite heavily.

Items in this set:
Contrast Floral Linen Dress, $25
Open Dolman Cardigan, $16
Cowboy Harness Boot, $40
Quilted Stud Handbag, $25
ASOS Feather And Rhinestone Drop Earrings, $7.65

Another way to do this season's florals is to toughen them up a bit. I think our brains are pre-wired to want to make floral clothes look sweet and girly. But I think choosing a graphic print and then accessorizing with leather and studs makes the floral print stand out even more, without be way too literal. I love a cowboy boot with a dress anyway, and this would be so cute on a date or something. When you really want a print to stand out, stick with just two colors. It's all about the dress here.

Camo-Military

Items in this set:
Brown Air Force Military Shirt, 18 GBP
Christian Louboutin Almeria Leather Espadrille, $340
Freebird by The Sak Peace Medium Crossbody, $59
ASOS | ASOS Genuine Leather Thick Studded Cuff With Popper Fastening..., $17
My Pet Octopus Cuff-Mod Retro Indie Clothing & Vintage Clothes, $16

Finally, the camo trend. This one is surprising to me for spring, because the colors are so fall, but I can dig it. Anyway, THIS is the type of thing that people can get too crazy with. Like camo pants, camo shirt, camo hat, CALM DOWN EVERYONE! Just because you saw it on a celeb in a picture does not mean it's okay. Instead, let camo colors and military lines be your inspiration. Hook me up with a walking short any day. The military-inspired shirt looks current without looking crazy, and a red espadrille lends color to the look. (In case you haven't noticed, I like to have a little bit of color imbalance in all of my outfits. Just something that is a little un-matchy and enough to be like "Oh, that's interesting!") If you don't love an ankle strap like I do, this outfit would work equally as well without one. The shoe is more about the wedge and material as it is the style. Also, when it comes to accessories for a military look, I like to keep things minimal. A few cuff bracelets and that's it.

So, when perusing through the racks of floral skirts and camo pants at Forever 21, remember that trends are more guidelines than set rules. If you're not sure if you can pull off a look, you probably can't. Just try it, even if it's outside the box for you. You might find that maxi dresses are your new summer uniform of choice, or you love the way you look in last year's buffalo plaid instead (I know I do). Create your style, and then add pieces as you get new ideas and inspiration for more current stuff.

In a related note, the other night my husband made me count the shirts I own. The tally is now at 210, and whatever is downstairs in the laundry. I am ashamed....

....ASHAMED I don't have MORE! (I think he was doing it to prove a point that I had too much clothes but it just made me want to go shopping. In your face, husband!)