My ipsy Review!

I have an awesome story to tell you! So last night we told the kids we were going to get snow cones and loaded them into my (finally fixed) Tahoe to find one. When we got to our usual spot, there was like, 3,000 people waiting in the line. And I don't know if you've ever waited in line for snow cones, but it lasts forever, thanks to the people who stand there for 10 minutes and ask questions like "What does peach taste like?"

So, in an effort to avoid mutiny from our kids, we decided to make a grocery store dash for some ice cream instead. I ran in by myself and picked up the following items:

- 2 pints of Ben & Jerry's
- 1 Dairy Milk bar
- 1 Bag of Milky Way Bites (my husband is obsessed)
- 1 Bag of Mint Milano cookies (they were on sale!)
- 1 US Weekly

As I loaded up all of my loot on the conveyor belt for the cashier, she started scanning the items and asked "How are you doing?"

"Fine, thanks -- how are you?"

"Good. But not as good as it looks like you're going to be tonight."

I then realized that she thought all of the stuff was for me. I started laughing "Um, I swear this isn't all for me. My kids are with my husband in the car."

"Oh, sure. It just looks like you're having some kind of spa night."

"Nope. Just getting treats for my kids."

She finished bagging my stuff and I ran my card because heaven forbid I ever carry cash. As I gathered up my bags, she handed over the receipt and said "Well, good luck on the breakup you're clearly going through."

When I got out to the car I was laughing so hard. I enjoyed that cashier's moxie and "Girls gotta stick together attitude." but I also liked her suggestions, so a girly spa night, breakup style sounded really good. Luckily, I had received my monthly ipsy bag yesterday afternoon, so I had a bunch of products to try. I put the kids to bed, filled the bath, queued up "Say Yes to the Dress" on my iPad and delved into my Dairy Milk while embracing the true product whore that I am.

Yesterday, when I posted a picture of my ipsy haul on Instagram, (this is what I got except the primer was switched for a nail polish) I got a ton of questions. And, since I love my ipsy subscription, I thought I'd give a little review. I'm not being paid for this. I just really love ipsy and want to spread that love.

So beauty subscription boxes are nothing new. But back in May, I made a list of things that would make non-crappy Mother's Day presents and included ipsy as one and I was totally sold. Before I purchased the subscription, I researched beauty boxes exhaustively. Like more than should be socially acceptable. I wanted a few things: Cheapness, a variety of products, premium sample sizes and beauty-centric stuff. After checking out BirchBox, Beauty Box 5 and a bunch of others, I finally settled on ipsy.

For $10, I get a little makeup bag with five products to try. Some are full-size and some are premium samples, which means they're miniature versions of the full size... not like, the little foil packages. For instance, this month I got a full-size nail polish, plus a pot of bronzer, a travel mascara, the world's most adorable miniature lipstick and a good-sized tube of facial mask.

When I first signed up, I gave some information about my beauty style, like how I love products, am pretty creative when it comes to colors and prefer makeup over hair stuff. ipsy then customized my bag out of 12 possible products for than month. I love that it lets me try brands that I probably wouldn't have tried on my own. This month had stuff from brands like Urban Decay, smashbox, Pixi and Michael Todd. I got the Michael Todd Pumpkin facial and it was amaaaaazing.

Do I think it's worth the $10? Absolutely. Honestly, it's worth the money to get something other than bills in the mail. I also love the little makeup bags that come with -- they're awesome for organizing my vanity and using for travel. However, in talking with one of my IG followers who uses BirchBox, she says it's better for skin and hair, while ipsy seems to be more about the makeup. There are also boxes for organic and vegan beauty too. Aaaaand thus concludes the only time I'll ever use the word "vegan" on my blog.

Anyway, I love my mail order makeup and I totally think it's worth it. Even if I don't love a color I'm sent, I pass them to my daughter who LOVES this mini lipsticks and stuff. And I already plan on buying a tub of that pumpkin facial, so I'm happy that I was introduced to the stuff.

Do you subscribe to a beauty box? I might be thinking about getting another and I'd love to hear more opinions!

Jae Raids the Drugstore

So it's been a while since I've done a JRTD! If you're new here, it's when I give you the benefit of my insane cheap cosmetic buying addiction to tell you what I loved and hated. Most of this stuff I bought at various drugstore-type places -- occasionally it'll be from a department or specialty store. As you should already know, no one pays me for this. Especially not the brands that I rail on instead of love. It's allll out of the goodness of my heart.

Rimmel London Scandal Eyes Waterproof Kohl Eyeliner

Can I just take a moment to express my deep and abiding love for this stuff? OK, so my eyeliner ran out and I am super picky about eyeliner. I hate when it's too hard and jabby and please don't say "That's what she said."

OK, fine, say it. Feel better now? You're disgusting.

Moving on. I grabbed this stuff honestly because I hate sharpening eyeliner pencils so I always grab the roll-up ones. And it is magical. It goes on so smooth that the first time I tried applying it I inadvertently put way too much on because I'm used to pressing hard. Instead, this is gel like and once it sets, it won't budge in the water. Which is great because I've spent the last week at various water features to keep my kids busy. It's only the second week of summer. Save me. Anyway, I loved it so much I bought it in both brown and black and since it was like $4, that's doable.

Sexy Hair Big Sexy Hair Root Pump Spray Mousse

Hello, lover. This Big Sexy Hair Root Pump Spray usually retails at about $17, but I bout a combo pack with the volumizing hairspray for that much at JC Penney so there you go. The hairspray is pretty major. Like, it will give you crazy 90s side poof if you let it. I like it for updos, but when I'm wearing my hair down, this root pump is my fave. It sprays on but then puffs up like a mousse. I just douse my roots with it before blowdrying my hair and it lasts forever. Totally worth the extra money.

e.l.f. Jumbo Lip Gloss Stick, Summer Nights

I really love this jumbo lipgloss stick for summer. It's smooth and non-sticky and just enough shimmer to go with a tan. I really liked it until I found that my son had rolled it up and smashed it into my bathroom counter. I made him clean it up and it took literally 30 minutes so there's a testament to how long it lasts. Luckily, I still have another one in red to play with. And SO cheap, which always makes me seriously happy.

Bare Escentuals bareMinerals Flawless Definition Volumizing Mascara

OK, so I bought this BareMinerals mascara having never tried their mascara before. I love love the foundation, but I'm not gonna lie here -- I didn't love love this. It made my eyelashes a little spiky. And I don't really need length, I need thickening and this just didn't do it for me. I'm still waiting to find a mascara that trumps my beloved Diorshow, but it looks like another one bites the dust -- and I can add to my substantial collection of once-used mascaras. Huzzah!

Maybelline Color Whisper by Color Sensational

Zoooooomg you guys get ready for my favorite latest find. THIS STUFF! Maybelline Color Whisper. It's like a glossy lipstick that gives color without being like "OMG is this lipstick fading funny?" all day. I'm obsessed. I've bought a couple different colors, but I'm going to level with you here: Choosing colors with this stuff is kind of a crapshoot because they're SUPER DUPER sheer. Like, the color pretty much looks nothing like the cover or the stick. But the color is so sheer that it kind of doesn't matter. I got both a really bright pink and then a nude-y rose and they both look amazing. I've been carrying them with me everywhere because it's enough to perk up your face without being like I'M WEARING LIPSTICK EVERYONE!

Tresemme Fresh Start Dry Shampoo

Yeaaaah I tried this, but if you're a brunette you might want to look somewhere else. This stuff is WHITE. And the first time I used it, I used it just like my favorite -- Suave of all things -- and it left a giant white polka dot in my hair and it freaked my husband out because he thought I was going gray. Like, it's useable if you really brush it through, but it's probably best for blondes.

e.l.f. Studio Eyeliner and Shadow Stick

Hey, low maintenance girls -- I'm looking at you. I bought this in plum a month ago and just barely used it all up. Because I used it literally everyday. It's a nice smudgey eyeliner on one side and a super easy cream eyeshadow stick on the other. I usually wore it when I was going low key because I'd line my eyes and then smudge some of the shadow into the crease of my eyelid and I was done. Oh darn... looks like I'll need to do another order soon... whatever will I do...








Alright, that's my latest and greatest. Also, the not-so-greatest. I'm off to feed my children. WHY do they want food all day?

Jae Raids the Drugstore: Best (and Worst) Beauty Buys

Latey-late post from me today. I have to tell you about my awesome experience a couple of hours ago! So my hubs wanted to meet up for lunch and I told him I'd be by McD's around noon and to meet me and my youngest there (me trying to be a good mom and letting my kid germ it up at the Playplace.) When I got in the parking lot, there were no spots left because apparently, McD's is really popular on a Wednesday afternoon, so I drove around the parking lot. Unfortunately, some complete idiot had parked a truck and trailer in such a way that the people coming in through the drive-thru completely cut me off from the rest of the parking lot. As in, I had no outlet whatsoever. There was about a five-foot space and I drive a huge SUV and I was stuck in this weird little triangle between the edge of the trailer and the cars in the drive thru line. So I had no choice but to wait until the cars in the drive-thru pulled up so I could wedge myself out. Anyway, I was sitting there waiting for that to happen when a guy in a truck starts honking at me furiously from his truck. He was behind me and obviously stuck too. After another minute, he slammed out of his car and proceeded to examine the distance between the cars and the trailer and decided, in his opinion, that I should try and squeeze through. I'm not INSANE so I told him no, which is when he released a steady stream of expletives at me. It was so awesome, you guys. I was like DUDE! Don't yell at me, yell at the guy parking a tractor trailer in the drive-thru!

Anyone who knows me IRL knows that confrontation makes me uncomfortable. Like, crawl under my bed, hide from the world and sob uncomfortable. So naturally, after finally getting out like 30 SECONDS after this all went down (and after the guy revved his engine like a NASCAR driver to make his point as he sailed by) I immediately plunged into a deep depression and just wanted to go home. Naturally, my husband came to my rescue and sent me off shopping to bolster my spirits. And in a very roundabout way, it reminded me I hadn't done a products post in a while.

As it turns out, nothing comforts me quite like low-priced drugstore beauty buys. Oh Walgreens, you'll never fail me.

Also, just a head's up that I'm not compensated for any of these reviews. Homie don't play like that.

 The Body Shop Lip Stain in Bronze Glimmer.

For real you guys, this stuff is liquid gold. I bought the other stain in a pinky rose color but this one is by far my fave. It's more of a rose gold and has a gold  glimmer to it that I love on its own or layered over my Maybelline Baby Lips in Peach. It's become my "keep in my purse because I will reapply 100 times per day" lip stuff. Welcome to the purse, Bronze Glimmer.

Maybelline The Turbo Volum Express Mascara

 In my never ending quest to test every single type of mascara ever known to man, I stumbled across this little gem because I was shopping at our local grocery store and cruising the makeup aisle and the "Volum" in Maybelline The Turbo Volum Express Mascara stood out to me. All I want in life is big hair and big eyelashes, OK? Anyway, I've been impressed! I don't think it's as good as Million Lashes, but I like it much better than the Rimmel Scandalous Eyes. In related news, mascara names are stupid.

 Clean & Clean Morning Glow Moisturizer.

Confession? I've always thought that at 30, I'd switch to a "grownup" moisturizer. But when I hit 28 this summer, I decided that it was time to man up and try something that didn't smell like a teenage girl's bedroom. So I switched to a gel creme thingy and haaaated it. Sure, it made my skin super soft, but it made me break out like a crazy person. So I'm back to using my old fave, which gives enough moisture so your makeup doesn't look dead-person powdery but also doesn't cause zits. Hooray! Who cares if I smell like a 14 year old?

 Cover Girl Perfect Point Plus Eyeliner

K, I love me some self sharpening eyeliner. Not because it sharpens on its own and I can never find my sharpener and end up using my daughter's Disney one, but because the actual pencil is so SOFT. I hate when you get an eyeliner and it's like stabbing yourself in the eye with a steak knife. This makes for perfect smudginess, which I appreciate when I'm running late but still want my eyes to look done. This is a keeper.

 Herbal Essences Tousle Me Softly Finishing Touch Cream

Someone on my Facebook page recommended this to me when I was looking for a good styling balm and whoever you are, you're my hero! I love the idea of balms but hate hate hate when they make my hair all greasy-like. This stuff is uber-light and I'm really happy with it. I use it after I blow my hair out and it looks all big 'n stuff. Stay tuned next week -- I've got an awesome tutorial coming up on faking a blowout. Oohhh yeah.

 L'Oreal EverCreme Cleansing Conditioner

I don't typically use traditional shampoo. I've been sulfate-free for about a year now. I made the switch after I went blond because my hair takes a huge beating with coloring process and I don't want to add all those chemicals to the picture. I'd like to keep some of my hair actually on my head, thanks. So I was overjoyed  to find this stuff. I don't love the smell -- but I am super happy with how it works. It'll weird you out at first because there aren't any suds and you need to rinse super well, but I use this on both me and my daughter and we have crazy soft hair. Love!

 Nair Face Wax Strips

I've waxed my own eyebrows for years and years, but I always used Nads. I just barely ran out and this was all I could find at the drugstore in a dire hour of eyebrow-waxing need. And this is the big loser of the bunch. These hurt like, 400 percent worse than Nads. I did like that I could cut the strips in half and only use one per session, but let's just say my son came running into the bathroom when he heard me screaming bloody murder with half of a strip stuck to my head. I'm going back to my old green goop and not even pretending to imagine what these babies would do to your bikini line.

You know what guys? This was totally therapeutic. Mr. Anger Management has nothing on a good chat session about beauty products.

Of course, now that I've thought of about 96 witty comebacks for this huge d-bag, I'll probably never see him again. But in case he ever reads this blog and realizes I'm talking about him, I will say that he looks like he smells, his truck sounds like it contains a dying panther and my car would total his if he wanted to play chicken. Ah, that felt better.

Fashion and Beauty 911

Remember the cameltoe liners? AHAHAHA I die. The best way to fix this is to wear bigger pants... THANKS.

When I was like, eight years old, my friend and I thought it would be super funny to call 911 and giggle into the phone and then walk away leaving the phone off the hook. In hindsight, it wasn't that great of an idea and we got in a lot of trouble. HOWEVER, fashion 911s are always a good idea.

I'm one of those people who just sits around tempting Murphy's Law all day, every day. If there's a chance that an entire sippy of chocolate milk will land on my khaki skirt, it will happen. If I see a sad movie, I will inevitably walk out of the theater looking like the undead. I ALWAYS GET RUNS IN MY TIGHTS. Because there's always something to go wrong, I've picked up a few little tricks that I've kept with me to take care of these fast. That's why everyone thinks I'm put together. Nope, just prepared for the worst always. Zombie apocalypse? Bring it on.

Here's my best collection of sneaky tips so you can avoid a super big emergency.

1) So you know when you've eaten too much cheese ball and your pants won't stay zipped up? Spray your fingers with a little hairspray and rub them over the zipper. It'll make the teeth tacky and stay up until you wash them. So eat up!

2) Once I was trying on lipstick at Sephora and totally got BRIGHT red smeared over the side of my mouth and couldn't get rid of it. Thank goodness I am a real mom who carries baby wipes always. They're also awesome for smeared mascara and eyeliner. And baby poop.

3) Keep safety pins in your bag. Just trust me. I cannot count the number of times I've pinned a wayward bra strap or pinned something to my blazer. They are awesome. Just look for the tiny discreet ones unless you're like Avril Lavigne and still desperately holding onto 2001 punk.

4) Staticky hair makes me SO angry. Especially because I get into my car and shut my hair in the door EVERY TIME. Now I've learned to slick on my lip blam, then use a little extra on my fingers, combing them through my hair. It'll add a little moisture to your hair and weight down flyaways so you look more polished and avoid looking like a dork because your hair is stuck in the car door. Not that I know what that's like or anything.

5) My engagement ring is marquis-cut so it has lovely pointy edges. It catches on everything made from wool ever. If you get a snag in a sweater, use a sharp pencil to push the snag back through the knit. Out of sight, out of mind.

6) Definitely keep at least one hair elastic and two bobby pins in your handbag at all times. I cannot tell you how many times I've felt like I looked drab or was having a bad hair day and could McGyver something with a couple of pins. You can pin your bangs back, do a high pony or a loose braid, whatever. It fixes hair so fast.

7) Run a dryer sheet over your outfit before you leave the house. Your panty line will thank me.

8) So I may not have the largest chest, but that doesn't mean I don't get annoying gaps in button-up shirts. Double sided tape can seal it up in a hurry, especially if you just notice it while running out the door. YES the same double sided tape that celebs wear to dress like street walkers. It's also good for wayward bra straps.

9) While I totally don't recommend going out in anything that needs to be drawstringed, I totally mourn when the string from my fave hoodie slips into the hood and is gone forever. Remove the string and tie one end around a pencil. Then use the pencil to thread the string back into the item of clothing without having to maneuver it around like a monkey.

10) Greastastic hair always makes you look borderline homeless. If you didn't have a chance to wash, sprinkle a little baby powder or cornstarch near your hairline, then brush through. That will soak up and distribute the oil evenly so you can get by a few more hours. Just don't add to much or your hubby will be like um, why does your head smell like our child's diaper? And that's embarrassing.

I feel like that should prepare you for just about anything that comes your way. If you guys have any other tips and tricks, I' would LOVE to hear them in the comments. I am always down with tips that help me not look like a complete idiot.

Lesson One:

If someone were to come up to me who wasn't feeling super awesome about themselves, and really wanted to change they way they looked and dress, and asked me what the first step would be, this is what I would tell them.

Two words. Statement. Lipgloss.

I know, right? It sounds odd. Why, when you're feeling crappy about your frumpy self image do you need lipgloss?

First of all, you are too old for Lip Smackers. I know they are delicious. I held onto my Dr. Pepper one from grade 7 for YEARS. Chapstick has it's place and time, but remember, we're looking for something a little less mommyish.

Moms (Okay, moms other than me) rarely spend money on themselves, right? But I KNOW you have $20 tucked away somewhere. Don't spend it on your kids. Take it and spend it on yourself.

No, do not buy this lip gloss at the grocery store. Or even the drug store. This is department store territory, baby.

My two favorites are by Dior and Coach. I know what you're thinking. Those are designer! They sound expensive! That's the best part about the statement lip gloss - it's only about $13 more than a drugstore Cover Girl gloss, but the difference is amazing. The quality is good, you get the gorgeous little statement tube, and when you slick it on, you are going to feel better about yourself. TRUST ME. Not to mention, it's such a super fast way to look put together when you're really not. Fake it till you make it, baby!

I have this one - Dior Addict in Fucshia Poplin. So pretty! Not to mention, hello! How gorgeous is the bottle?

Love these colors too:





Spend $20 on yourself. It's going to be your first step to de-mommifying. Then we'll work on the jeans.